You Are Not Broken: Understanding Emotional Eating

Hello and welcome.

My name is Lisa Schlossberg and I will be your guide today.

And before we begin,

I do just want to tell you that I know from so many years of personal experience,

What it's like to use food and eating as the only way of coping.

So if you find yourself right now in what feels like an unbreakable cycle of emotional eating or stress eating,

I see you and you are not alone.

Now when it comes to using food emotionally,

Many of us have taken in these messages from society and from our culture and maybe even our parents that are not helping us heal.

Stories like it's all your fault,

It's a willpower problem,

You don't have enough discipline,

And a lot of those things are not true at all.

And more importantly,

Not only are they not true,

But they're really not helping and they're only going to continue getting in the way.

Because if there's one thing I know for sure from my own experience of healing and managing a relationship with food that now is in such a place of peace and freedom,

Is that shame is a paralyzing force.

Not just in theory,

But physiologically speaking.

And so if you're still carrying any of those stories or narratives about you being broken or you being the problem,

First I want to offer you something that will actually be much more scientifically accurate and also create a path for healing.

Now sometimes it can be hard to release the old story or the old way of thinking if you don't know exactly what to replace it with.

So that's what I want to give you today is how are you supposed to think about this.

If you're not the problem,

If you're not broken,

If you don't have a willpower or discipline issue,

How exactly can we explain out of control emotional eating?

Now to answer this question,

I will tell you something I'm saying all the time these days,

That is you are a spiritual being having a physical experience with an animal brain in a social context surviving on food.

So if you feel a little out of control around food or just that your relationship with food is stressful and emotional,

Sometimes confusing,

It makes total sense and it's absolutely valid.

This is not a you problem.

This is not your fault.

You're a spiritual being having a physical experience with an animal brain in a social context surviving on food.

There's a lot to navigate here.

So let's break it down piece by piece.

So you know what I'm saying here.

First you're a spiritual being.

You are an energetic,

Intuitive being.

You are so much more than your physical body.

And whether you think about that in terms of just the fact that you have thoughts and feelings and ideas and preferences,

You can sense things,

Right?

You are a spiritual being,

An energetic being,

And you are living in a physical body.

This is your meat suit.

So you have a spiritual being in a physical experience,

Okay?

But now this is the part that really matters.

You have an animal brain in a social context.

Now the thing about that animal brain is that it's designed to protect you.

It is designed to keep you safe.

And so it doesn't really get concerned with are you happy or healthy or wealthy or successful.

That's your human brain.

Your animal brain is only concerned with whether you are going to survive or not.

Are things bringing you into safety or danger?

So everything that you experience here in your human life is filtered into that system of is this safe or is this dangerous for me?

Now the thing about that,

Your animal brain in a social context,

Is that it can't tell the difference between stressors.

So we are constantly being stressed out and our brain is constantly interpreting the stressors in our life as life-threatening danger,

Even though they're not.

Now on top of that,

Because we survive on food,

It has neurochemicals or our brain releases neurochemicals when we eat food.

Every time we eat food,

Dopamine and serotonin that bring our mood up and or bring our stress down.

So ultimately what I'm saying to you is if you identify as an emotional eater or a stress eater,

Congratulations.

You are a human being and everything in your mind-body system is working correctly.

It's brain science that we turn to food to cope.

It is brain science that we use food as a coping mechanism.

It doesn't mean anything is wrong with us.

In fact,

It means there's a lot right with us and that's great news because from this point,

Once we understand this,

Now we actually have the opportunity to heal holistically from a mind-body-soul perspective that will last in a way for life.

This isn't like a quick band-aid solution.

This is coming home to yourself through understanding yourself.

Now,

I have said a lot of things in the last couple of minutes and what I want to invite you to do at this point is just gently close your eyes or drop your gaze,

Whatever feels comfortable for you where you are.

And first,

Before we do anything else,

Just start with a few deep,

Slow breaths.

I love an audible exhale and just do that a couple more times.

Inhale mindfully and then audible exhale.

And then do that one more time.

Make this the biggest breath of your entire day.

Fill your lungs all the way up to the top and bottom,

Side to side,

Big expansion.

And then exhale.

Let it go and just sink and melt a little bit deeper into your seat and into this space.

And now,

Without thinking too hard,

I want to invite you to bring in all the information that was just shared.

And so you're not just understanding it in your mind.

You're not only taking this in intellectually,

But you're actually inviting it to land in your body.

So imagine it trickling down from your brain into your heart,

Into your body,

Into your soul.

And notice what happens energetically,

Physiologically,

When you allow yourself to connect with the truth that is you are not broken and it's not your fault.

And there is nothing wrong with you.

And just stay here for a moment.

There is nowhere else to be and nothing else to do.

What you are doing is creating space for this information to integrate.

So you're not just thinking about it,

But you're allowing yourself to really feel into,

Again,

The truth.

You are not broken.

You are not the problem.

Turning to food,

Emotional eating,

Is not your fault.

It actually means that everything is working properly,

That everything is working appropriately,

And that your mind-body system knows how to keep you feeling safe and protected.

And if you get a source of safety,

You feel comforted by food,

That's okay.

That's okay.

And just allowing this message to drop in,

And maybe inviting any younger versions of you or younger parts of you that heard different stories about emotional eating.

To be here right now and to share this message with them.

It was never your fault.

You were never the problem.

You were never broken.

You are not defective.

This is your mind-body system doing what it is meant to do.

And just breathing into that,

Taking that in,

Really allowing yourself intentionally to receive this,

Not just to understand it,

But to receive it.

And you might also notice that there are parts of you that might not be feeling safe.

You might be preoccupied with,

Well,

Then what do we do about it?

How do we stop?

And we'll get there.

But we can't get there if you still think that this is all your fault.

This right here is step one.

Releasing shame,

Releasing judgment,

And letting go of all the stories that don't align with the truth.

That is,

You are doing nothing wrong.

And you have never,

By turning to food,

Done anything wrong.

Feel that.

Accept that.

Make space for that.

And for another moment here,

Just allowing yourself again to settle into this truth.

And if you notice that it feels emotional or tearful,

That's okay.

Let that be here.

You might also experience shock or disbelief.

That's okay,

Too.

Whatever is present here,

Just let it be.

You're taking in new information,

Potentially.

So don't overwhelm yourself with an agenda or any expectation.

You're just letting yourself know that this is what's true.

And it is safe for you to stop beating yourself up,

To stop judging,

To stop shaming.

You can get off your own back because you are not the problem.

Breathe.

You are safe to be here with you in forgiveness,

Compassion,

Empathy,

And understanding.

It makes sense that you use food to cope.

It makes sense that eating helps you feel better.

It makes sense.

It's okay.

And I want to invite you to stay here as long as feels good for you.

If it feels like this needs a little bit more time to settle,

Allow that.

There is no rush.

There is no urgency.

And you can come back to this as a reminder whenever you need it.

And if you are feeling ready to shift,

Just bringing the awareness back to your body,

Any of the sensations and the energy that might be here now.

And then finding your breath again.

And then with your eyes closed,

Maybe just bringing some gentle movement in.

So wiggling your fingers,

Wiggling your toes.

Maybe you want to roll your wrists and ankles around.

Maybe roll your head around a little bit.

And then whenever you're ready,

You can very gently start to just flutter your eyes open,

Checking out the room around you.

Slowly integrating back into this space.

And thanking yourself for showing up here today to receive this.

And again,

If you need to come back,

You need another reminder,

You need a refresher,

Save this and come back to it.

Because the truth will remain the same.

It is not your fault.

You are not the problem.

And you are not broken.

So here's to more compassion,

More empathy,

And more love as you continue navigating your relationship with food.