What Is Trauma?

Welcome to Insight Timer.

Now trauma is a word that is so commonly used these days and yet many people aren't sure what it really means.

So it's often misunderstood as the event itself,

Something that was shocking or overwhelming.

And of course we can experience events that are traumatic.

But trauma isn't actually the event itself.

It's what happens inside of us when our system becomes overwhelmed and doesn't have the support it needs to process what's happening.

So that could be when something happens that feels too much or too fast or too soon maybe.

Now the amazing trauma expert Peter Levine says that trauma is a fact of life.

But it doesn't have to be a life sentence.

And I really love that quote because it's a reminder that trauma is just part of being human.

And it actually affects all of us to one degree or another.

Now not all stress becomes trauma.

It's just when that stress overwhelms our system and the energy of it can't move through.

That's when it becomes stored or imprinted in our system.

Now your nervous system is constantly asking,

Am I safe?

And when your system feels safe,

You can relax and you can connect,

You can think clearly and you can feel your feelings and you can be present.

But when something feels threatening,

And that could be anything,

It could be a physical danger,

It could be an emotional overwhelm,

Or something happening within a relationship,

Maybe a disconnection,

It's then that your nervous system shifts into protection.

And it will go into various states like fight,

Flight,

Freeze,

Or fawn.

And I'll explain what those states are in more detail in another video.

But trauma happens when those responses don't get to complete their natural life cycle,

When the energy of survival gets stuck and it stays held within the body.

And it's important to understand that these nervous system states aren't actually choices.

They are intelligent,

Automatic survival mechanisms.

And trauma isn't defined by how big something appears to be from the outside,

Which explains why two people can go through exactly the same experience but be impacted by it in completely different ways.

And how you respond to any given event will depend on many factors,

Like how sensitive you are,

Or your history,

Or what support system you have around you,

Or maybe what age you are at the time that a difficult event happens,

And whether you felt safe,

Or seen,

Or held when that event happened.

So something that might seem small,

Like being repeatedly dismissed,

Or ignored,

Or shamed,

Can actually have a really profound impact,

Especially when that keeps being repeated over time.

So in this instance,

There's not one big moment,

But many small moments where we didn't feel safe to be ourselves.

And this is what we call complex trauma,

And I'll go into more detail about what that is in another video.

So trauma doesn't just live in our minds,

It lives in our bodies,

And it lives quietly in the background of our lives,

Showing up as chronic tension in our body,

Maybe anxiety or restlessness.

It can show up as feeling numb or disconnected,

Or that feeling of being on edge,

Even when things seem to be okay.

Or when you have difficulty resting or feeling safe.

And it can also show up as overreacting or underreacting,

And patterns that repeat in relationships.

Now it's really important to know that trauma is not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Quite the opposite.

This is your system doing its very best to protect you based on what you've experienced and what your system has learned.

And your system has always been trying its best to adapt and protect you and take care of you.

And even if those strategies don't feel helpful now,

At some point they were necessary.

They made sense and they helped you to survive.

So I think it's really important,

Instead of asking what's wrong with us,

It's kinder to ask,

What happened to me?

And what did my system have to do to get me through?

Now,

The great news is that we can recover from trauma.

And that's not about fixing yourself,

Or forcing yourself to move on,

Or get over something.

But it's about slowly and gently,

And at your own pace,

Creating enough safety so that your system can soften.

And so that your system can gently process what it wasn't able to fully process at the time that these things happened.

And there are so many ways that we can do this.

And I'll explore some of those ways with you in another video.

But I think the most important ingredient is this,

Is to be really kind and gentle and compassionate with ourselves.

Just knowing that none of this is your fault.

And if any of this does resonate with you,

Maybe let's just take a moment to place your hand somewhere on your body that feels supportive.

And you may want to lower your gaze or close your eyes and just acknowledge,

My system has been doing its best.

It really has.

And trauma isn't a life sentence.

It's not your identity.

And you're not broken.

You're human and your system is working perfectly.

And trauma can begin to shift when you get the right support.

Healing happens in small moments like this,

Where we just stop and we pause and we listen and we meet ourselves with kindness.

And the great news is that Insight Timer is here to support you on your healing path.

And as somebody who has complex trauma in my own background,

I really wish you well on your journey to greater peace and ease and freedom in your everyday life.

And I can tell you from experience that that is very possible.

Much love.