IFS Insight: Understanding IFS In Just 3 Minutes

Let me explain,

In one sense,

How I would explain IFS or internal family systems to a child,

But also knowing that this is to help adults understand better.

First,

I'd ask the child,

For example,

You know a part of you that acts like this,

Right?

And they'll usually say,

Yeah,

And there's also this one,

That one.

So the main point is that instead of thinking we have one single mind,

We actually have multiple parts.

So I'd say something like,

I call them little parts,

But other people might say subpersonalities.

And these parts are like small minds inside us,

Always chatting or giving advice.

However,

I've learned over the years,

In my own experience,

That there are truly no bad parts.

Even the ones that do awful things have reasons.

And when you get curious about them,

They reveal why they got stuck in those roles.

And like kids in a family,

These parts start out innocent,

But tough times or bad experiences can push them into extreme behaviors and freeze them in time.

For example,

If I were working with you or someone else and asked a critical part,

How old it thinks you are,

It might say that you're still seven,

Eight,

Nine,

And that it needs to protect you like it did back then.

And these parts also pick up strong beliefs and feelings,

Which we call burdens.

Now the big thing about IFS is that besides these parts,

There's a core you and me with great qualities.

And in the model,

We call them the eight C's of self-leadership,

Calm,

Curiosity,

Confidence,

Compassion,

Creativity,

Courage,

Clarity,

And connectedness.

And this core self can't be hurt,

Which is pretty incredible if you think about it.

And when you tap into it,

You know how to heal yourself and connect with others using things like those eight C's.

And that's the heart of IFS.

It's right below the surface,

Ready to help when parts step back.

So when I'm helping someone,

I first reach for that core self,

And I hope that we can all do that more in our lives or find folks who can help us do that.