Tender Self Compassion Break

This is a version of the self-compassion break designed to bring in some tenderness,

Some loving,

Connected presence when you're hurting or struggling in some way.

So please think of a situation in your life where you are in some need of some care.

Maybe you're feeling inadequate in some way,

Feeling badly about a failure or a mistake you made or something about yourself you don't like.

Or maybe something that's very difficult in your life,

Stressful,

Challenging.

So allow yourself to feel your way into the situation.

What's going on?

What are you feeling?

And also feeling the distress in your body if you can.

So dropping out of your head into your body,

Feeling the discomfort.

And now we're going to bring in the three components of self-compassion,

Starting with mindfulness.

So mindfulness when it comes to tender acceptance is really just about being present with what is.

Being present and validating the pain.

So saying to yourself something like,

This is really hard to feel this or to experience this.

This moment is painful.

It's a moment of suffering.

And also reminding yourself of your humanity.

Feelings like this,

Situations like this,

This is part of being human.

There's nothing wrong with me for feeling this way.

And I'm certainly not the only one.

So allowing yourself to feel your connectedness to others in your own imperfection.

And then finally we want to bring in some kindness.

So one way to do that is with physical touch.

So putting your hands on your heart perhaps or cradling your face with your hands.

Feeling the warmth of your hands.

And saying something kind to yourself which is exactly what you need to hear in this moment.

Maybe it's a message of acceptance.

It's okay to be imperfect.

Or a message of support.

You know I'm here for you.

It'll be okay.

And if you aren't sure what to say you might imagine what you would say to a dear friend in a very similar situation.

What words of care and comforting would you use to help your friend?

And then try saying something similar to yourself.

And now letting the practice go.

Just allowing yourself to be exactly as you are in this moment.

And if you're feeling any distress you can always try grounding your feet in the floor.

Feeling the soles of your feet.

Feeling that.

Feeling that stability.