Stop People Pleasing: How To Say No Without Guilt - by Rianna Hijlkema

COURSE

Stop People Pleasing: How To Say No Without Guilt

With Rianna Hijlkema

Let me be honest with you. People pleasing isn't a kindness problem. It's a fear problem. Fear of conflict. Fear of rejection. Fear of what happens to the relationship if you take up space and have needs and sometimes say no. And so you say yes. Again. And you tell yourself it's because you're generous, you're caring, you're a good person. Maybe all of that is true. But there's also a cost. And if you've been paying it long enough, you know exactly what it feels like: the quiet resentment, the exhaustion of being endlessly available, the strange loneliness of being surrounded by people who need you but don't really know you. This course is for anyone who is tired of that. Tired of the yes that costs you something. Tired of the guilt that shows up the moment you even think about saying no. Tired of managing everyone else's comfort at the expense of your own. Over five lessons, you'll understand where the people pleasing pattern actually comes from, and why it runs deeper than a bad habit. You'll learn what guilt is really telling you when you consider saying no, and why it's been lying to you. You'll get real, usable language for saying no clearly and kindly, without the five-paragraph apology. You'll start to understand who you are when your identity isn't built on other people's approval. And you'll be prepared for what actually happens to your relationships when you start showing up more honestly, because some will deepen, and some will shift, and you need to be ready for both. This is not about becoming someone who doesn't care about others. It's about becoming someone who can care for others without disappearing in the process. The people in your life deserve to know the real version of you. So do you.


Meet your Teacher

Rianna is a full-time traveler and serial entrepreneur since 2011. She is currently based in Bali, although rarely in one place for long. After years of building her life around other people's needs: as a teacher, a school director, a doula, a friend, and a partner, she learned the hard way that being endlessly useful is not the same as being genuinely present. This course grew out of her own reckoning with approval-seeking, the patterns she had to unlearn, and the conversations nobody around her was willing to have honestly. She teaches this not as theory but as someone who has lived it, got it wrong many times, and found a way through.

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5 Days

4 students

No ratings

5 min / day

Authenticity

English


Lesson 1

Why You Say Yes When You Mean No

The real reason people pleasing isn't kindness, it's fear. This lesson explores the foundation of the pattern: where it comes from, why it feels safer than honesty, and what it's actually costing you in your relationships and your sense of self.

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Lesson 2

The Guilt Is A Lie! Here's What's Really Going On

That wave of guilt when you say no? It's not proof you're a bad person. This lesson breaks down why guilt shows up, what it's actually protecting, and how to stop letting it make your decisions for you.

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Lesson 3

How To Say No Without Explaining Yourself

The practical lesson: You'll learn exactly how to say no, clearly, kindly, and without a five-paragraph apology. Includes real language you can use, and a reflection on the difference between an explanation and an excuse.

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Lesson 4

Who Are You Without The Yes?

People pleasing isn't just a habit; it's an identity. This lesson explores what happens to your sense of self when you start saying no, why it feels destabilising at first, and how to build an identity rooted in your own values rather than other people's approval.

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Lesson 5

The Relationships That Survive This, And The Ones That Don't

When you stop people pleasing, some relationships shift. Some get deeper. Some get uncomfortable. This lesson prepares you for both and gives you the clarity to know which relationships are worth the discomfort and which ones were only built on your compliance.

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