How To Accept What You Cannot Change? - by Rianna Hijlkema

COURSE

How To Accept What You Cannot Change?

With Rianna Hijlkema

Transitions are a period in which you change from one version of yourself into another. These transitions can be planned (such as getting married, buying a house, moving abroad, or becoming an entrepreneur) or unplanned (such as a divorce, death or loss, health issues, or a pandemic). Many transitions are being experienced as a disruptive storm. They can be very challenging due to the big amount of changes that are involved, the feelings of loss of control over the situation, and the increased levels of stress. People kept telling me - you have to accept. But how do you do that when it’s not something you choose? I figured it out and in this course guiding you through my A.C.C.E.P.T. model™.


Meet your Teacher

Rianna is a full-time traveler and multi-passionate serial entrepreneur who has been building businesses since 2011. Currently based in Mexico, though never in one place for very long, she has spent the past 15 years traveling the world while running multiple ventures. From an early age, she was told to “pick one thing and stick with it.” She tried, but quickly realized that wasn’t her path. Instead, she chose to follow all her interests, embracing the journey of a multi-passionate entrepreneur and creating a life that reflects her many passions. Alongside her businesses, Rianna organizes walking and hiking retreats for women who, like her, are childless not by choice. Donations in her name go directly toward female empowerment projects run by CWEC in Lamjung, Nepal.

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6 Days

7.1k students

4.8 stars

7 min / day

Acceptance

English


Lesson 1

Step 1: Acknowledge The Situation

Acknowledging that all endings are also beginnings (which we just don’t know in the moment) is the first step of acceptance. The moment I acknowledged that this is the situation I’m in, this is what I need to deal with and that I’m doing the best I can with all that is in my control, I started to feel more calm. I found that acknowledging my situation felt way much easier than to have to accept it. I was not ready for that (yet).

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Lesson 2

Step 2: Control The Controllable

Once you’ve acknowledged the situation you are in, you start looking at the things inside of your control. This is an important principle to follow because it allows us to prioritize our efforts and resources towards achievable goals, instead of wasting energy on things we cannot change. By focusing on what we can control, we can reduce our stress levels and increase our sense of agency and empowerment.

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Lesson 3

Step 3: Create A Calming Routine

Have you ever wondered how many decisions we make each day? Is it 1000, 10,000, or even 30,000? In fact, on average, an adult makes over 35,000 decisions daily. However, excessive decision-making can lead to stress, triggering cortisol levels to rise, and after 20 minutes, it can even damage our neurons. To reduce stress, it's essential to simplify our lives and minimize decision-making. By creating a routine, we can alleviate some of the pressure, which can help us set the tone for the day.

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Lesson 4

Step 4: Expectations With Compassion

It is easy to fall into the trap of having unrealistic expectations and being overly critical of ourselves. We set the bar high and expect perfection, leading to disappointment and self-blame when we inevitably fall short. We forget to be gentle and kind to ourselves, treating ourselves with the same compassion and understanding we would offer to a dear friend. It is important to remember that we are only human and allow ourselves the space to make mistakes and learn from them.

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Lesson 5

Positive Feelings Before Positive Thoughts

Which positive feelings resonate with you? Perhaps it's happiness, joy, or gratitude. Remember, these are emotions that are felt in the present moment, not just thoughts about the future. To cultivate positive emotions in your daily life, start small. Take a moment to bask in the warmth of the sun on your face or appreciate a small improvement in your daily routine.

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Lesson 6

Tribes Improve Your Life

Going through major life transitions are the most challenging parts of your life. During these times you are transforming from one version of yourself to another. An African proverb says: ‘If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ support is critical when going through challenging times. Find a group of people that is understanding and supportive, but also challenging you to keep moving forward. You don’t accomplish anything in this world alone.

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4.8 (496)

Recent Reviews

Lisa

February 8, 2026

Loved this short but to the point course. Thank you!

Adria

January 7, 2026

So practical and helpful in this stage of challenge and transitions.

Basia

December 4, 2025

Very helpful. Short sessions but full of wisdom.

Joseph

November 12, 2025

Thank you.

Laura

September 27, 2025

This really helped me to reflect on what things are important and what I can do in my own little circle of the world.

Greg

September 7, 2025

Thank you for this 6 days!

Stephanie

August 29, 2025

Loved this meditation. Just what I needed to restore my inner peace. Thank you!

Tracey

August 3, 2025

Awesome coach

Yvonne

July 15, 2025

Interesting course & personal journey and life. I will focus on my tribe and have been working on releasing people that no longer serve me. I’m also releasing thoughts of the past and the future currently working on being present. I’m looking forward to finding joy and the little things that Life can bring the simple things. I will trust the divine and that the universe has my back.

Greta

June 30, 2025

Insightful. Uplifting. Revealing. Thank you for sharing and offering to help ❤️🙏🏼

Cindy

June 12, 2025

Thanks for yet another wonderful course...it was absolutely amazing!

Dena

June 7, 2025

Loved this course….very wise

Denise

May 31, 2025

Excellent course on accepting change! Thank you 🙏

Nancy

May 28, 2025

Thank you so much For sharing your story and creating this class. I shall return to the steps often.

Karen

May 23, 2025

Fantastic! Thanks so much and you seem like you would be a great person to be in a tribe with!

Ruthie

May 21, 2025

I appreciate the author's passion, but I'm still not sure how this has helped with accepting what I cannot change. The content seemed to approach this topic quite indirectly.

Linda

May 17, 2025

Did all 6 sessions in one go and made lots of notes to help me look back on these sessions. So many insights thank you this came along for me at the perfect time

Tim

May 3, 2025

I really enjoyed that course and your open and honest way that you talk about your own life and experiences. Sometimes these huge things that we have to find a way to navigate can be really difficult to accept and manage but your positive outlook is something I can really relate to as I had a similar thing where lots of very challenging things all seemed to happen at once, relationship suddenly ending, my father died and I lost my job all at the same time but I just focussed on running, lots of juicing and healthy relating, journaling, meditating, forgiveness and compassion (outward and inward) and I had a bit of a magical experience where I felt like the universe just sent me a healing - then I moved to Bristol (on a prayer with no money or job!!) got my dream job as a head of music - met my partner who we now have a beautiful little girl, spent a lot of time with my little sister and her 2 boys but she got leukaemia and lost her life, I gave her my stem cells as we were a 100% match but the treatment she had been having had done too much damage in her body.. just so horrible and she left 2 young children who she loved so much - this world is full of heartbreak but also magic and beauty - if you truly love life you have to find a way to try and love all of it, the good and the bad bits! Anyway.. I really admire you, your story is amazing and definitely feels like there’s a whole lot more to live and experience - I’m sure other women will be inspired and find meaning in and resonate with your story, your honesty and your authenticity ✨🙏🏼✨ your voice sounds just like a singing teacher I have working in our school called Jantine Hej - I think she’s actually a famous pop star in Belgium? 🇧🇪 she’s awesome as well!! Anyway - sending YOU so much love and any child would be so lucky to have you as their mum - maybe you can adopt someday? Peace and Love ✨☀️😌🙏🏼🦋🧘‍♀️🫶🏼❤️✨

Dianne

April 16, 2025

Thank you.

Mabel

April 13, 2025

Fantastic breakdown of the necessary steps to come to acceptance. I particularly appreciated Rianna’s real life examples. Rianna’s willingness to be vulnerable helped me let down my guard and trust her method. The content of this course serves as a valuable tool in my journey to acceptance. Thank you, Rianna.

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