How To Accept What You Cannot Change?

Acknowledging that all endings are also beginnings (which we just don’t know in the moment) is the first step of acceptance. The moment I acknowledged that this is the situation I’m in, this is what I need to deal with and that I’m doing the best I can with all that is in my control, I started to feel more calm. I found that acknowledging my situation felt way much easier than to have to accept it. I was not ready for that (yet).

Once you’ve acknowledged the situation you are in, you start looking at the things inside of your control. This is an important principle to follow because it allows us to prioritize our efforts and resources towards achievable goals, instead of wasting energy on things we cannot change. By focusing on what we can control, we can reduce our stress levels and increase our sense of agency and empowerment.

Have you ever wondered how many decisions we make each day? Is it 1000, 10,000, or even 30,000? In fact, on average, an adult makes over 35,000 decisions daily. However, excessive decision-making can lead to stress, triggering cortisol levels to rise, and after 20 minutes, it can even damage our neurons. To reduce stress, it's essential to simplify our lives and minimize decision-making. By creating a routine, we can alleviate some of the pressure, which can help us set the tone for the day.

It is easy to fall into the trap of having unrealistic expectations and being overly critical of ourselves. We set the bar high and expect perfection, leading to disappointment and self-blame when we inevitably fall short. We forget to be gentle and kind to ourselves, treating ourselves with the same compassion and understanding we would offer to a dear friend. It is important to remember that we are only human and allow ourselves the space to make mistakes and learn from them.

Which positive feelings resonate with you? Perhaps it's happiness, joy, or gratitude. Remember, these are emotions that are felt in the present moment, not just thoughts about the future. To cultivate positive emotions in your daily life, start small. Take a moment to bask in the warmth of the sun on your face or appreciate a small improvement in your daily routine.

Going through major life transitions are the most challenging parts of your life. During these times you are transforming from one version of yourself to another. An African proverb says: ‘If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ support is critical when going through challenging times. Find a group of people that is understanding and supportive, but also challenging you to keep moving forward. You don’t accomplish anything in this world alone.