Thank you for being here.
My name is Rianna,
I'm a serial entrepreneur,
Full-time traveler,
Happily married and childless,
Not by choice.
I didn't know it,
But back in 2011,
When I stood on a bridge in the middle of Paris,
Staring at the sand,
I figured out something that changed my life forever.
But first let me take you back in time,
Because just four weeks before that moment that I was standing on that bridge,
I had everything I had ever dreamed of.
I had a boyfriend,
A beautiful house in a small town in the Netherlands,
I had a cat and two birds,
I had my own car and I had a full-time job I loved.
I had it all,
And I could call myself successful,
According to society's standards.
But I didn't feel fulfilled.
It was not that I felt unhappy,
Because on a scale from 1 to 10 I would probably have given my life a 7 in that time.
I mean,
I had a good life,
Full of comfort,
But there was something missing,
And I didn't know what.
Then one morning,
After another long night staring at the ceiling,
Wondering if there was more out there,
I shared my feelings with my then boyfriend,
And the funny thing was,
He wasn't even surprised.
We talked and talked,
And we decided to go our own way.
We broke up,
He kept the house,
The cat and the birds,
And I moved to a friend of mine where I could stay on the couch for a while to figure things out.
Only a couple of days later I received a phone call from my boss.
He was very sorry,
But he had made a mistake in the budgeting and he had to let go of the last person that came in.
Guess what,
That was me.
So there I was,
Sitting on her couch,
With two bags of belongings,
No boyfriend,
No house,
No job.
But the funny thing is,
In that very moment,
I felt nothing but freedom.
It was like I was given a second chance to start all over and figure out what was calling me,
The freedom to create my own path,
A path towards the life of a 10.
So after some goodbyes,
I put my bags in the car and I drove to Paris.
And on that first day,
I was standing on the bridge,
Looking over the sand,
And hearing all these friends chit-chats passing in the back of me,
And there in that moment,
I made a promise to myself.
From this day on,
I'm only going to do things that make me feel happy,
Empowered and fully alive.
And that's what I did.
I traveled to more than 40 countries.
I married the man of my dreams.
I became an entrepreneur,
I started multiple businesses,
I wrote my first book,
I will be hosting a TEDx Women event next year.
And the best is yet to come.
Now you might think,
What is that powerful tool that you figured out?
Well,
It's this.
Stop chasing things,
Start chasing feelings instead.
And no,
With feelings I don't mean those feelings that arise when you bump your toe or you receive a love letter from somebody you care about.
Those feelings are created by external circumstances.
No,
I'm talking about foundational feelings.
Feelings that come from deep within.
Feelings that set your soul on fire.
Feelings that define who you are and make you feel nothing but amazing.
I have been chasing my feelings of happiness,
Empowerment and feeling fully alive all around the world,
In all aspects of my life.
Work,
Health,
Relationships,
Marriage.
And really,
I felt the luckiest woman on earth.
And then,
Infertility knocked on my door.
And it slowly took over my complete life.
My relationship,
My marriage,
My health,
My social connections and my businesses.
It took over everything I had created so passionately.
And the worst thing?
I didn't even notice.
Until a while ago,
When we decided to stop fertility treatments.
And it felt like I suddenly woke up after a 6 year long nightmare.
I've learned my lesson,
The hard way.
But now I'm back,
Living an extraordinary life and actually noticing it,
Chasing feelings of joy,
Empowerment and fulfillment,
Despite not having what I want the most.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm here to remind you that your journey is valid,
Your emotions are valid and that you're not alone.
You can follow me here on Insight Timer for more talks on living this unexpected life.
