The Female Stoic Podcast - Managing Reactivity

And welcome to today's episode of The Female Stoic Podcast.

Today's episode is about empowerment.

Empowerment in the way that we can come to understand We have the ultimate control over our lives.

What do I mean by that?

As we know,

As Stoics there's a dichotomy of control.

And.

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Within our inner citadel we know that we have the power to Choose how to react.

To externals,

Things that are happening around us.

Why should that make any difference?

Because.

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If we can choose how to react.

Then we can.

Shoes.

To protect our inner peace.

And so.

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Remain at peace.

That sounds easy.

It's a daily practice.

But it is empowering to know we have the choice.

Our well-being is within our control.

The common misconception with stoicism is that it is seeking to suppress our emotions.

But in fact.

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What it is seeking to do is Maintain.

Our level of reactivity.

Which can be chaotic.

If we allow it to be.

Stoicism is teaching us to understand.

The power of reactivity and how necessary it is to regulate that reactivity so that it is not controlling us.

And what is reactivity?

How does that?

Differ from emotion.

Well,

Emotion in its purest sense is actually our superpower.

To feel a heightened sense of strength.

Uhhh.

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Sorrow,

Of elation,

Of euphoria,

Of desire,

Is actually very powerful,

Even a heightened sense of anger.

But of course we understand that.

If that emotion is allowed to dominate.

I love it.

Move.

If we allow that emotion to become so powerful,

It then dysregulates us.

And.

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Encourages reactivity.

Then it is a dangerous thing.

So what is reactivity?

When we react to things from a place of calm.

We notice what is happening.

We are calm enough to say,

This is what is happening,

Without feeling any sense of attachment to that.

When we react.

In such a way that is not in proportion or disproportionate to the event itself.

We are then allowing the walls of our inner citadel to crumble and our emotion to affect our inner peace.

So the two are closely connected.

And what we are seeking to do is avoid too much reactivity.

But we are not seeking to avoid emotion.

We understand its power and what we are.

Ideally want to do.

By the use of informed daily practice.

Is to permitted to resonate just outside.

Our inner citadel,

So that we can manage it.

So let's have a look at a worked example.

I wake up.

I.

.

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Feel a reaction to something,

Oh no it's raining again,

That means it's going to,

Immediately I stop myself,

I am being reactive,

I am attaching an assumption to this and this is not helpful to me.

And I understand that if I am reactive at the start of the day,

That is going to impact the rest of my day.

So I cut myself off.

Before I allow that pattern,

That train of thought to escalate.

That is reactivity.

If I continue being reactive,

I then.

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Am allowing my emotions to overtake my well-being because I am becoming more and more angry,

More and more frustrated as a result of my reactivity.

So.

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The lesson here today is to cut off the reactivity before it escalates.

To understand that,

I will feel emotion,

That is a part of being human.

To embrace the emotion but to use it for something.

So I can use anger,

For example,

As a great way to fuel my exercise that I will take then later that morning,

For example.

I can use heightened emotion to drive my imagination in my written work,

For example.

But I do not allow either the emotion I feel or any reactivity I feel to become disproportionate.

To the place in which it should rightly resonate.

I do not want to attach too much power to that.

I want it to vibrate in a given place so that it is not affecting my inner peace.

And that is the lesson for today.

Be aware,

Be listening to ourselves,

Be.

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Knowledgeable of what we are doing so that we can call ourselves on it.

When we need to.

See you next time.