5 Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Therapist

Peace and blessings,

Everyone.

It's me,

Dr.

Sabrina,

And welcome to Soul Speak,

Conversations for Your Healing Journey,

Where I have typically taken one question from one of you and done my best to answer it in a very short period of time based on my years of experience as a therapist,

As an author,

As a peace builder,

As a human,

As a friend,

As a sister,

As a daughter,

As a mother,

As a wife,

As all the things these past several decades of my existence on this earth.

But today,

Instead of answering one question,

I decided to actually answer a common theme.

And so many people have been coming up to me saying,

You know what,

Dr.

Sabrina,

I've been thinking about starting therapy and maybe I'm gonna do that.

And I'm like,

It's something to consider.

It's something to contemplate.

I personally think all of us need someplace to go where we can be unfiltered,

Unjudged,

Held energetically and loved by another human being.

And so what I've done is I've put together five important questions to ask the therapist that you are interviewing to hold your heart.

Did you hear what I said?

Five questions to ask the therapist that you were interviewing to hold your heart.

And sometimes we get into this misconception that the therapist is interviewing us.

It's a collaborative effort.

And I want you to consider that you have rights and responsibilities around who sits with you.

So here's question number one.

Question number one,

I jotted them down so I don't forget.

Question number one is,

What is your approach to therapy?

You know,

There are all kinds of people who profess to be psychotherapists,

Therapists,

Psychologists,

Social workers,

And each of them have studied all different modalities.

Find out first,

What is this person's approach?

And how does that approach serve as a potential support and guidance for you?

Listen to me,

For you.

You may find someone who's very well-trained in IFS or EMDR,

I know I'm throwing out acronyms.

That might not be the right approach for you.

Find out what that approach is.

Ask them first,

And then ask them,

How much do you know about my unique struggle?

Name your unique struggle.

Is it domestic violence?

Is it depression?

Is it acute grief or is it prolonged grief?

Is it caregiving support?

Is it a marriage that's unraveling?

Is it I don't love myself and haven't loved myself for 50 years?

I don't know what it is.

But I want you to find out what that therapist knows about your unique struggle.

And they can answer that question and notice whether they can answer it with ease or if they're struggling to get the answer out.

Listen for the nuances in this conversation that you are having with this potential therapist.

And I want you to ask them,

Have they ever sat in the therapist's office for themselves?

Listen,

Part of the reason why I shifted to seeing women gynecologists is because I wanted to be with someone who has sat in no stirrups.

Yes,

That's how important it became to me.

I want you to think about a therapist who has sat on the other side and had someone guide them into a marriage issue,

A domestic violence issue,

A self-esteem issue,

A depression issue,

An anxiety issue,

Or simply whether they sat on the other side so that they could become a better guide and know what it feels like so they can understand that tension in the body that happens when anybody comes for therapy.

Ask that very,

Very important question.

And it's okay.

It's okay to get the truth from that therapist without them giving you every detail of their own personal life experiences.

I want you to find out who that therapist goes to or whether they go to someone for support in their own journey as being a guide.

So for example,

I have been mentoring and supervising therapists for two decades.

And guess what?

I have someone in my life that I still call on and say,

Hey,

Hey teacher,

I'm stuck.

I need some guidance.

Have you ever experienced this?

You don't wanna go to a therapist that works in a vacuum.

Go ahead,

Ask those questions.

Find out what their beliefs are about mental health and about healing.

How does that connect with your beliefs?

And did you notice that the first question that I asked wasn't what is your session fee?

Because I know for a fact,

You have purchased a pair of shoes that was out of your budget.

You have bought the fanciest coat that maybe you couldn't afford.

You might be sitting in a house that was out of the budget,

But you figured out how to make it work.

Yes,

When you go and talk to the dentist about getting new braces,

You sit with how you can make it work within your budget.

You don't say,

Oh,

I'm not gonna get that surgery because it's out of budget.

I want you to think about therapy as being a part of your budget and something that you can work around.

Ask the therapist their fee after you get these questions answered and then find out whether they can work with you around their fee.

But don't,

Don't scrimp on the affairs of your heart.

Don't be cheap,

Be frugal.

Understand that you have to feed yourself and feed your family,

But find a balance.

Don't let your insurance company just rifle some names off to you that don't fit your choices for your lifestyle,

For your needs right now.

Then make an informed decision.

If this person that you wanna see doesn't offer you 15 minutes of a consultation,

Maybe that's not your person.

But I know lots of people who do that.

I know a ton of therapists who will sit with your heart and guide you back to your truth,

Guide you back to loving your self.

That is the whole point for you to know yourself,

For you to love yourself,

And for you to come back into a righteous relationship with yourself.

Please write me back.

Let me know what your search journey has looked like.

Also write in the comments,

Let me know whether this short conversation I had with you resonated and served your heart.

I look forward to serving you again.

I wish you peace.

I wish you enduring love and abundant blessings.

Peace and blessings.