Have you ever noticed how the bad things in life really tend to stick,
To stand out?
The negative comment or remark that stayed with you for the whole day,
The time you stubbed your toe and you got angry with a loved one,
When you dropped your coffee and you were rushing and late again,
The extra bit of work your colleague just landed on you the last minute or the time your team lost.
We react powerfully in the moment and the feelings and mood can stay with us for a very long time.
Any positive or neutral things that happened can be drowned out even if more of them did.
It started millions of years ago with our prehistoric evolved stress response which looks out for negativity or threat and kicks off a series of brain and body reactions and once activated it's totally automatic and pretty much out of our control and it's highly sensitive to negative experiences like a stressful event.
It kept us safe from saber-toothed tigers but equally it's keeping us safe from notifications,
Stubbed toes and deadlines.
So it sees a lot of threats and it stores the knowledge deep in our neural structure so we know to avoid the situation in the future.
As the neuroscientist Rick Hansen puts it,
Our brain is like Velcro for the negative and Teflon for the good.
Unfortunately nowadays we have a million and one triggers in our environment so we need to intentionally focus on the positive and by taking in the good we have an opportunity to redress the balance.
Here's how you do it.
Stabilize your mind and body with some deep breaths or perhaps adjusting your posture or noticing sensations in your hands and feet.
Do this for one minute or more if possible and you can return to this anchor whenever your mind wanders during the practice.
Step two.
Once you've found some calm,
Bring to mind a positive experience,
Perhaps a memory or recent event you enjoyed.
A kind remark,
A nice meal or conversation with a friend,
A win at work or bird singing in the morning.
Whatever works for you.
It can be simple or it can be complex.
Just give it a moment now to come to mind.
Then when you're ready,
Let the deep really sink in.
What took place?
Who or what was involved?
What did you hear,
Say,
Sense or see?
Now in step three,
Begin to notice what feelings,
Emotions or state of mind accompany the experience.
Perhaps some feelings of happiness or excitement,
A sense of spontaneity,
Of energy or contentment.
What really moved you?
And now stay with it.
You can breathe in and out as you consciously recognize what was there.
And now in the final step,
Step four,
Let the details really sink in.
Let the good,
The joy or the happiness of that moment become part of you once more in the moment.
Stay here for a little while.
This intentional focus on the good can help redress the balance,
Moving away from our bias for the negative.
And practicing this daily or nightly as a gratitude practice can rewire our brains for a bias for positivity instead.
