Supporting Grief With Compassionate Listening

Grief turns up differently for everyone experiencing bereavement. The circumstances leading up to a loved one's passing will influence the nature of one's grief. Recognizing that grief is not uniform or standardized is important when offering support and understanding to someone navigating through loss.

One of the common mistakes people make is to try to make a bereaved person feel better. You might mean well, but you can't fix someone who is grieving, you can't take away their pain. If you can bear the pain with them as a listener, this is a great help.

For someone who is bereaved everyday tasks can feel overwhelming; the daily routine and chores of the day are hard to achieve. Don't forget to acknowledge someone for doing the most simple of tasks. Offering practical support, gifts of food and taking someone out can be a great way to connect.

When you are with someone who is grieving you might want to try to make them feel better. You might be tempted to say 'time is a healer' or you might offer advice about what they should and shouldn't do. It's helpful to realise that grief doesn't follow a defined timescale. Be present to the griever rather than trying to make them feel better.

If you can walk alongside someone who is bereaved then you will be offering the best gift of all. Give them the space to let you know how they feel and listen to and acknowledge them. If you get it wrong, or say something wrong, don't worry - be kind to yourself. The most important thing is to create connection.