Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature.
I'm Liz Scott.
Today,
Whilst out walking,
I feel exhaustion from my washing machine mind.
I've had a tricky week with a friend,
And my mind is swirling.
Habitual thoughts are crashing against the window of my mind,
Like frantic birds desperate to escape.
The thoughts blame my friend.
Life is not fair.
She is manipulating me.
She never takes responsibility.
I am the one that has to bail her out.
As I walk through the leaf-dappled lanes that are dripping with mud and water from recent rains,
I find my thoughts looping,
Faster and faster,
Like cars on a racetrack.
Do you ever get that sense of agitation,
When your world feels uncertain,
Unsettled,
And unstable?
On this walk,
I don't see the trees or the flowers,
I don't hear the birds,
And I barely smile at fellow walkers passing me by.
My whole energy is being used by my thinking.
My thinking is like a parasite,
Draining my energy and attention,
Making me feel sad and low.
When my mind is like this,
Even in the midst of its panicky angst,
There is a deeper well of knowing that whispers to me.
It is quieter than my noisy head,
But I know to listen and trust it.
The whisper is taking me out on a walk up to Dartmoor.
Despite the noise in my head,
I allow my feet to walk me onto the moors and to show me the way.
Today I am drawn to the boulders of granite that litter the moor.
These grey rocks are millions of years old,
And they are so ancient and enduring on the landscape.
I allow the granite rocks to call me.
I listen to them.
Thousands of years ago,
Up here on Dartmoor,
Communities were also drawn to these rocks.
They carved them out of the ground and placed them in rows and circles.
These ancient people,
Like me,
Felt the energy of the granite.
For me,
The granite is something that links to the wisdom of the past,
An enduring wisdom that is indestructible.
I reach my hand out to the boulder.
It's twice my size.
I stroke the surface.
I notice the bumps of algae in the smudges of bright green moss.
A tuft of grass is gamely growing from a crack.
With both hands on the boulder,
I close my eyes and feel the bumpy roughness of the rock.
I feel its resilience and ability to take all and everything that I need to release.
I ask the granite boulder to be strong for me.
I ask it to take these worries and to absorb my fears.
The nagging,
Worried energy drains from me,
And the granite willingly absorbs it.
I breathe deeply and listen to the wisdom within,
A wisdom that is now easier to hear.
This wisdom reminds me of things I already know.
First and foremost,
I know I can't switch off my thinking.
There are no levers or buttons I can press to stop the thoughts.
I also know that I can't do battle with these thoughts.
Doing battle with thoughts,
Trying to wrestle them under control,
Or trying to get them to change into positive thoughts,
It's a waste of energy.
It makes them worse.
I also know that these thoughts are not telling me the truth.
They are not telling me about my friend.
They are not telling me about her lack of respect.
I listen further because there is more for me to know.
And now as my mind settles,
I know the most powerful thing of all.
I know that my feelings of agitation are reminding me to dip into the well of wisdom,
To the wisdom of the universe.
There is a deliciousness to this energy and I feel the timeless connection.
What a gift.
I breathe deeply and thank the granite for reminding me of who I am.
