This is a practice for expanding into some compassion for someone we're having difficulty forgiving or we have a conflict with.
Remember that being compassionate towards each other is a spacious thing.
It's not about being good or bad as a person.
Sometimes we associate not being able to forgive with being a bad person.
But actually it can be hard to feel compassion for another unless we feel compassion for ourselves.
It can also be hard to feel compassion for another when they're actually hurting and harming us and we really want that to stop and we're worried in some way that by offering them forgiveness we're not backing ourselves.
So right from the top I want to say that this practice isn't about that.
And this practice will only be welcome to you if you already are feeling in your body that you're in a space where you have people who love you,
Where you are able to love yourself or offer loving practice to yourself.
And where you know that some of the things that have happened to you as a result of other people,
Even if they didn't intend it,
Have been tender for you and hard.
So we're going to begin by tuning into those things and that will give you some inner safety and a little more space before we move into the forgiveness practice itself.
Often the last thing we want to do is offer compassion to someone who seems to be hurting us.
But do try it because it does tend to change things.
Sometimes it can make that other person feel better energetically even though they don't know you're doing it.
And at the same time we can keep remembering all the things about our lives that help us feel settled and good about ourselves.
And that helps the parts that feel wounded and hurt as well.
So to begin with,
Simply finding a way that your body feels at home for a little bit.
Any position you like for your body to settle in.
And where you can also be just alert enough to pay attention to the idea of forgiveness and compassion and directing that inward and outward.
And sometimes it's nice to add a little rocking or swaying as a soothing motion for those parts of you that might be feeling a little dysregulated from hurt.
And the first thing we're going to do is settle inside our own bodies and self-compassion.
So maybe taking your hands to some parts of your body.
It could be on your thighs.
It could be a hand on your belly and a hand on your heart.
It could be wrapping your arms around each other.
Or simply placing both hands somewhere in a resting place on your body.
And as I say,
Feel free to move.
Sometimes gently rocking and swaying comes naturally.
Especially if you're seated right now.
Just see what your body wants to do.
And then breathe deeply into yourself.
Drop into your body.
And can you welcome all your feelings here.
And that there are no bad parts.
And there might be a nice landing place for that thought.
It might be that that thought wants to drop into your belly or your lower belly.
And that as you breathe,
You can breathe in and out of that spot in nice slow deep breaths.
There are no bad parts of me.
And all my parts are having experiences of life.
I'm a human having human experiences of life.
And sometimes those experiences feel good and light and reassuring.
And sometimes they feel tender and achy.
And all those parts are in my care.
And breathing in and breathing out,
Can you say,
My feelings are in my care now.
Every single one.
You're holding yourself.
You're holding all your feelings,
Whatever they are.
With your hands and touch.
With your breathing.
How your breath is rippling through all your feelings.
Soothing them.
Making space for them.
And also feel how you're settling now with gravity into the arms of the earth.
That wherever you're sitting or however your body is resting underneath you,
Is a solid stable support of the earth that wants nothing from you,
Asks nothing of you.
Is just happy you're here.
And is holding you.
And maybe you can release a little more into that embrace.
Maybe you can drop a little more into that safety.
So you're safe on the inside because your feelings are in your care.
And your body is safely dropping into the stability of the nurturing earth in your spot here.
My feelings are in my care.
And there are no bad parts.
I am good.
Goodness flows through me.
Like liquid gold.
You may notice resistant parts that want to argue with this.
Little areas of tension in your body.
Remember those parts are welcome too and you're here for them.
They're telling you they're feeling a little hurt or they need protection.
So just know that this protective thought,
My feelings are in my care.
And your breath and your hands on your body,
Maybe some gentle movement and the earth underneath you are all a container for care.
For all of these parts to be with and in and inside.
A strong energy container for all your parts.
And can you remember where care is in your life?
The people who care.
There may be animals who love you.
There may be children.
There may be other adults.
There may be protectors and guides you have on the other side.
Maybe spiritual presences.
Just to where there is caring.
For you.
And feel that attention on you now.
That no matter what,
There is caring directed at you,
To you and you can receive that.
There's an energy that is eternally there.
And just take some breaths to receive that,
Maybe again into your belly,
But also your heart,
Widening your diaphragm to receive that truth you are cared for.
And say to yourself,
My feelings are in my care and I am cared for.
And then tuning into compassion for yourself.
Have you forgotten to forgive yourself in this situation?
Sometimes we feel shame or to blame,
We believe we're at fault.
Conflict can make us feel like that.
And sometimes it's old wounds that need to be updated to present safety.
So know that that is also happening in the background too.
That is a good thing.
And just say,
I am safe to forgive myself.
Even though I haven't really done anything wrong.
But there are parts of me seeking that and wanting to hear that.
So can I say,
Of course,
All parts.
I forgive you.
I love you.
I'm not holding a grudge against you.
I'm clearing all grudges.
I'm welcoming all of me back with compassion.
I forgive myself.
All the past versions of myself and experiences.
All the present ones that may be asking for forgiveness.
And in the future.
All those future experiences and parts.
I forgive myself in all directions.
Infinite forgiveness.
And then just breathe and feel some clear space in your body.
And maybe let any tense parts you're aware of relax consciously.
It could be your jaw,
Your brow,
Your shoulders.
Could be some holding in your chest or your torso or your belly.
Your fingers or your toes.
And just let them drop.
Those weights they've been holding into this present clarity of everything forgiven.
Let them relax into everything forgiven.
Nothing there now.
Nothing holding them to account.
Now we're going to turn our attention to the other person or people that you may have conflict with or have had a feeling you've been hurt by.
And feeling that same spaciousness and compassion as you breathe into the space.
Gather into that.
And then as you breathe out imagine you're directing energy outwards with your breath.
And that energy is the energy of compassion and forgiveness.
And can you say,
Just like me,
This person is seeking some happiness for their life,
For themselves.
And keeping your awareness on the other person or people.
And leaning into this compassion and spreading it outwards with your breath towards them.
With warmth and kindness if you can.
Just like me this person is trying to lower suffering in their life.
And then just like me this person has known sadness,
Loneliness and despair.
And just like me this person is learning about life.
And as you follow through these words can you feel peace and love arising in your heart?
There may be conflict too and that's okay.
Just know that you're making an authentic connection with the person or people you're focusing on that might help them to relieve some of what they're holding onto.
Just take a moment with whatever you're envisaging now.
Having sent that healing practice outwards.
Having also received it for yourself.
And feel your connection with all life and that life is cherishable.
And it's tender and it's sweet and it's magical.
It's all those things.
And life is connection to all those things.
And there's a magic in that too.
And know that what you have just done is to offer some of that magic forward.
Well done.
Whenever you're ready return back to your body and the present.
Open your eyes.
See the day again afresh.
And go forward with peace in your heart.
