Let's Talk About... The Real Truth Of Loneliness

Hello beautiful human,

Wherever you are around the world.

I am tucked up on my sofa in my sitting room in beautiful Devon.

I am,

As you can see,

Snug as a bug in a rug.

I just had an amazing walk with my friend.

I've got a nice cup of tea.

Please pause the video,

Go grab yourself a coffee or a tea or whatever you fancy drinking and come sit with me.

Because I really want to chat to you about loneliness.

It's a big one.

It's one that used to govern my whole entire life.

It didn't matter if I was surrounded with people or if I didn't have anyone around me.

It was the same lonely feeling.

And I did the same thing that everyone does.

I kept trying to fill that loneliness inside of me with things outside of myself,

Like relationships.

I'd get into a relationship.

I'd have a wonderful relationship.

But then I realized they weren't filling that loneliness inside me.

And so I would leave and I'd get in another relationship and the same cycle would happen.

This is just my own story.

Because I kept searching for something else to make me feel better.

And what I realized that completely changed my whole entire life was that loneliness is so absolutely not about being alone or being lonely.

And it's not something that you can ever cure with something outside of yourself.

The truth of loneliness is this.

Loneliness,

The feeling of loneliness,

Is the feeling of being.

.

.

Sorry,

Had a glitch with my iPad,

But I'm back.

So,

Loneliness.

Be willing to unlearn what you thought loneliness was for your whole life.

And loneliness can be the most powerful emotion that can absolutely change everything.

Because loneliness is disconnection from self.

That's why we all feel alone is because we're not there for ourselves.

Because if you're connected to yourself,

If you really have delved deep into yourself and done the inner work,

Like I have,

You can't be lonely if you try.

I have lived alone for a number of years.

And I'm truthful and honest and open and raw.

And the truth is I'm not lonely.

Do I want to welcome somebody into my life?

Of course I do.

But not because I need anyone to fill any void.

Not because I'm lonely and I need company.

I am in love with my own company.

And that's not arrogance.

That's not vanity.

That's how we should all be.

We should adore our own company.

We should love being with ourselves,

Spending time with ourselves.

I love spending time with me.

There is so much that we get up to.

Me,

My mind,

My heart,

My soul,

My body.

Whenever you feel lonely,

It is a sign,

An alarm bell that you need to connect to a part of yourself.

To do something to build the relationship with you.

Not find somebody who's going to be your life partner so you never feel lonely again.

Because trust me,

You can have a relationship and a family and an entourage and friends and fame.

And you can still be the loneliest person in the world.

And you can live on top of a mountain.

And if you're in love with yourself,

You're not lonely.

You're having the time of your life.

I have the time of my life with myself every day.

And that's not toxic positivity.

Because when I'm having a crap day,

I love myself enough to let myself have a crap day.

And I enjoy it.

I put on angry music.

I scream into cushions.

I cry.

I feel with myself.

No more repressed and pushing it down.

So I'm saying to you,

What if from now on,

Whenever you feel lonely,

It's a test from the universe to say,

What are you going to do right now in this moment that's going to bring you closer to yourself?

It could be affirmations.

I used affirmations for years.

I literally hated myself for most of my life.

And then I decided I was going to try all these things and find what worked for me.

And one of the things I did was recalibrate my neurological pathways by literally saying affirmations I didn't believe over and over again until I did believe them.

And that's just one of the ways I started to build a relationship with myself.

There's journaling.

There's having a bath and listening to music.

And when you wash your body in the shower as well,

Don't be disconnected to yourself.

That's a perfect opportunity.

Wash your body like a lover.

Wash your body like a mother would a child.

Love yourself the way you've always wanted to be loved.

That's what loneliness is asking for.

You don't need it from anyone else.

It has to start from you.

That's the key.

It's the key to everything.

And so loneliness became the most important part or one of the most important parts of my healing journey.

Because every time I got that little pang of loneliness that I interpreted as,

Oh,

My God,

I'm alone and it's so sad.

I changed it to part of me is saying it wants me to reconnect,

To get deeper,

To love myself more.

Sorry,

I keep forgetting my mic is here.

So my question is,

What are you going to do for yourself when you feel lonely?

What is something that your soul would love when it feels that feeling?

Maybe it's a hug.

You don't need to wait for anyone else to do it.

Do you know,

Sometimes I watch TV and I'm just like this and I stroke myself and I love myself and I hold my own hand.

When I go to sleep at night,

If I long for somebody to be in bed next to me,

I literally just hold my own hand.

And it's just the most beautiful feeling because I'm telling myself I'm here.

You've got me.

Trust me,

If you start doing that,

Whenever you feel lonely.

You'll be amazed at how your life starts changing.

It's not as complicated as anyone thinks.

So next time you feel lonely,

Don't use it as a reason to jump in a big pot of self pity and victimhood.

Use it as a reason to connect deeper to yourself and love yourself more.

And what better way of doing that than listening to one of my audio healing journeys?

Do it.

Get deeper to you.

Get more connected to you.

Build a relationship to yourself slowly,

Step by step.

Every time loneliness hits,

Love yourself more.

And just see what happens.

And that,

I believe,

Is all I have to say about that.

That's a good cup of tea.

Sending you love wherever you are around the world.

Bye.