Childless | Letting Go...

After 6 IUI’s, 3 IVF’s, ten thousands of dollars, relationship challenges, and being really close to a depression. It was enough… Quitting was my act of self-love. Trust me, that was the hardest decision of my life! And now we’re entering a whole new phase… what does life look like being childless?

Despite all the reasons to stay silent, I choose to speak up… Not because I’m looking for sympathy or pity.. But because I know that opening up these honest yet sensitive conversations will benefit so many people around me..

I’m on a mission to raise awareness around childlessness so that together we can help change the conversation… and make sure that unsolicited advice turns into support… real support that leaves us feeling empowered and a little less lonely in this incredibly challenging journey…

Transcript

Thank you for being here.

My name is Rianna.

I'm a serial entrepreneur,

Full-time traveler,

Happily married and childless,

Not by choice.

Living a nomadic lifestyle for over 12 years means I don't have much stuff.

I live out of a backpack and no,

I don't have a home or a storage where I keep things.

Everything I buy has to be carried on my back.

So you'll understand that I never really buy unnecessary things.

That also explains why in the Inside Timer Lives you always see me in the same black shirt.

The only exception is a tiny pair of blue and pink baby socks that I bought about 7 years ago,

Hoping for the perfect moment to surprise my husband with.

Unfortunately,

They've never left my backpack.

Until today.

I saw a mother sitting on a piece of carton on the side of the road here in Mexico begging for food,

With in her arms a little baby.

I ran back home,

Went to the bottom of my backpack and rushed back to give the pair of socks to her.

She took them both.

I mean,

Who cares about the color when your basic needs are not even met?

When I got back home,

I knew what I had to do next.

I got on my computer and deleted a file that has been staring at me for the past 7 years.

A file with blogs and articles on pregnancy,

Breastfeeding,

Postpartum,

Full with Amazon links to all the baby stuff we had planned to buy and pictures from all the cool teacher activities I wanted to do with them.

I deleted all of it.

Now the only thing that is left are my thoughts,

Memories and emotions.

And well,

There's no way I can get rid of that.

A dear friend of mine shared this quote a while ago that struck me to the core.

There was another life that I might have had,

But I am having this one.

Thank you for listening.

I'm here to remind you that your journey is valid,

Your emotions are valid and that you're not alone.

You can follow me here for more talks on living this unexpected life.

Reviews

Again, these talks are wonderful!

Childless not by choice. The slice of the story no one talks about - thank you for putting a voice to the heartbreak. I’m with you on multiple failed attempts & years on the hope rollercoaster…it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. Lots of beautiful lessons on the way back to living life though. Lots of love to you.