Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement meditation to help you accept the differences between you and your partner.
It's inevitable to have different perspectives,
Different viewpoints,
And different preferences when you're spending your life with another person.
Yet when we experience past trauma,
These normal differences can feel really scary and almost life threatening to your nervous system.
So let's connect to your body right now and see what needs to happen next to feel safe and confident in your relationship despite having differences.
To begin,
You can start in any position that feels good enough to your body right now.
And we'll take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
One more time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
With your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,
I'm going to invite you to resist and avoid focusing on the specifics of what the differences are between you and your partner.
And just tune in now to how having differences makes you feel in your body.
How does it make you feel when you don't see eye to eye with your partner?
When you prefer to spend your free time in a different way?
When they have different health choices than you?
When they have different career priorities than you?
Whatever it is,
Focus on how it makes you feel right now and tune into the first sensation that comes up in your body as you feel into this.
You might feel a tightness in your hands.
You might feel a sense of nervousness rising up from your belly to your chest.
You might feel the urge to make your body smaller.
There is no right or wrong.
Just tune into the sensation of how it makes you feel when you have these differences.
And whatever sensation came up,
I'm now going to ask you to respond to it with movement,
Allowing your body to lead and almost asking,
What does my body want to do in response to the sensation?
How does my body want to move with it?
If you felt your hands tightening,
You might have the natural urge to tighten your fists even more or to let it go,
To open them up.
If you felt the urge to make yourself smaller,
You might follow that urge and actually make your body smaller and curl up into a ball.
If you felt this energy rushing up from your belly to your chest,
You might take your hand and trace that.
Again,
There is no right or wrong.
These are just some examples of what could happen.
But whatever is going on for you,
However you're moving,
Is good enough for you right now.
If your mind tries to take over and tries to make judgments,
You can acknowledge that but just let it go and allow your body to take the lead.
As you're responding right now to your body,
You are connecting deeper to your body and its wants and needs.
Just see what wants to happen.
See what your body wants to do.
You might be repeating the same exact movements over and over or they might be shifting into something else.
Maybe your body started out small and now you're taking up more space.
Maybe you find yourself holding yourself or hugging yourself.
Whatever is happening for you right now is important.
It's meaningful.
Mostly because when we have these experiences of focusing on the differences,
Nitpicking them,
Turning them into huge problems when they really aren't,
We actually disconnect from our bodies.
We're so worried about not getting what we need and yet in those moments,
We abandon ourselves.
We abandon our bodies and we neglect our needs.
But by connecting to your body in this moment right now,
By responding to your feelings,
Your fear,
Your insecurity,
Your anxiety about having differences,
By responding to that with your body right now,
You are meeting those needs.
You might even feel into your worth,
Into your strength.
Maybe you're doing more powerful movements.
Maybe you're making more of an impact right now using your voice or stomping your feet against the floor.
You can feel that impact.
Maybe your movements are just subtle,
Small,
But really connected to yourself,
Really present with yourself.
If you bring these practices into your life,
When you have the urge to nitpick and tear apart the things that are wrong with your relationship,
You'll find that this need dissolves and that you can feel so much joy and love and confidence and security by always being connected to yourself first to the point where these normal differences doesn't threaten any of that that you've built with yourself.
However you're moving,
Whatever you're doing right now,
Start bringing it to a close,
Gradually making your movements slower and smaller,
Taking your time and naturally finding an ending pose that feels good for you right now.
We'll take another deep breath in and out.
You may come back to this meditation anytime you need it.
And until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
Bye.
