Healing Anxious Attachment

You may have tried to repeat affirmations or tell yourself to relax, but your body still feels on edge whenever there's the tiniest sign of conflict or your partner wants to be closer to you. This movement meditation will help you connect to your body so you can PHYSICALLY step closer into the healthy, confident, loving partner that you truly desire to be. No more wasting time *talking* about what you want to do differently!

Transcript

Hi,

This is Ori Krug,

Board certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.

In this movement meditation,

I'll be guiding you to explore what needs to happen in your body in order to shift your anxious attachment style.

If you're anxiously attached,

You might resonate with being overly clingy,

Fearing rejection,

Fearing abandonment and pushing away any partner who gets close.

Let's begin with taking three deep breaths together,

Starting in any position that you want sitting down,

Lying down,

Or maybe standing with your body fully against the wall to feel some more support.

Take a deep breath in and out.

Again breathing in and breathing out.

Some more time breathing in and breathing out.

With your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,

Imagine,

Visualize or sense with your body how it feels to have this anxious attachment in relationships.

Whether it's a feeling of clinginess or fear of rejection or pushing away,

Just notice the first sensation that comes up in your body around this feeling.

You might feel butterflies in your stomach.

You might feel like you're losing your ground a little bit.

You might feel a constriction in your neck.

Whatever you feel might not even make sense at all.

But notice it.

Notice that sensation and stick with it.

We will make meaning of it later.

And as you're feeling into the sensation,

I'm going to invite you to start moving your body with it.

So how does your body want to respond instinctually?

How does your body want to start moving with this sensation?

If you felt butterflies in your stomach,

You might want to move your stomach and your waist in a circle in the direction of the butterflies or maybe even in the direction opposite of the butterflies.

If you felt like you were losing your ground,

Maybe you go from sitting up to lying down and feeling supported by the floor.

There is no right or wrong.

These are just suggestions just in case this is new for you and you're not sure what to do.

So move your body.

Whether you're repeating the same movements over and over,

Or maybe it's turning into something else.

Maybe you started sitting up and now you're lying down and you're rolling around on the floor feeling every inch of your body against the impact of the hard surface.

Maybe you started moving your stomach around with the butterflies and now you pictured or imagine the butterflies moving down to your legs and now they're moving too.

Maybe you don't feel like moving much at all and that's okay too.

As you're moving with the sensation of being anxiously attached in your relationships,

Just take a moment to recognize that right now you are in command of your body and the way you're expressing yourself.

You have full control over how you want to respond,

How you want to behave and interact,

Even if you're just with yourself in this moment.

And that's where so much anxiety comes from being in relationships when you're anxiously attached.

It feels like everything's out of your control.

It feels like you can't control whether your partner will abandon you.

It feels like you can't control what your partner's doing and you need to keep them close to you every moment,

Every day,

So they don't run away.

And when they do get close,

It feels like that closeness is going to create so much hurt that it's easier just to avoid it.

All of this feels out of your control.

Yet in this moment that you're moving right now,

That you're choosing what you want to do with your body,

Even through this anxious feeling,

Even through this anxious sensation,

You can start trusting that you're not the victim anymore.

You're not this person who is not worthy of being with,

Of being loved in a healthy way.

In fact,

You are worthy of healthy lasting love.

I want you to try to feel that with your body right now.

How would it feel if you didn't feel anxiously attached?

If you felt secure and confident and free,

What would you do with your body?

How would you hold yourself differently?

How would you move differently?

Try that on right now.

You might literally open up with your arms.

You might create more forceful movements like stomping against the floor so you can feel and hear your impact.

Because you do have an impact in this world and in your relationships.

You might be standing up and leaping or hopping around,

Feeling this playfulness,

Feeling this freedom,

Free to be you in your relationship.

Free to do you without worrying what your partner is going to think or worrying that your partner is going to leave you if they know the real you.

How can you express that in your body right now?

Just pretending,

Just imagining that your anxious attachment style has shifted and you are secure and free and confident and the amazing person that you truly are,

Worthy of lasting love.

Yes.

Yes.

Now whatever you're doing,

However you're moving in this moment,

I'm going to ask you to slowly,

Gradually make your movements slower,

Gradually smaller so that you're taking your time to find closure with this intimate movement experience with yourself.

Don't just abruptly stop.

Don't abandon yourself without getting closure for this movement experience.

Come up with an ending pose.

That feels good to you right now.

You might find yourself hugging yourself.

You might find that you're standing tall with your head up and your shoulders back.

Something that symbolizes this new,

Imagined and totally possible version of yourself.

And when you get there,

Take a deep breath in and out.

If you felt even the tiniest shift in this movement meditation,

Then you can already be assured that this version of you exists and is possible for you.

That you are not damaged,

You are not broken,

You are not stuck with anxious attachment forever.

You already felt just a little taste of who you are when you are securely attached.

And because you felt that in your body,

You know that you can feel it all the time.

It's available to you.

You can come back to this meditation anytime to continue getting closer and closer to the version of yourself you truly want to be.

And until next time,

You deserve to be able to let healthy,

Lasting love in.

Reviews

Thank you, Orit. I’ve struggled w/anxious attachment the last 10 yrs approx in post-divorce relationships and it can be hard to shake it when in a new relationship:-/

Powerful guidance. Brought up deep feelings quickly and helped to transform them. Movement prompts and encouragement so helpful.

I love the transformative aspect to this meditation. To not only express the anxious attachment but then to move into something more connective that better serves your spirit. So helpful. Thank you!

Tears came. Felt a big release. Thank you 🤎

I definitely felt a shift. I've never heard of movement therapy for anxious attachment. I've never even heard of anxious attachment, but I have all the symptoms. Excited to do more research on this. Thank you!

It was my first time doing a movement meditation. It was life changing!!!

This was just what I needed it described me perfectly and as dancer myself this was incredibly healing thank you

Amazing! I felt the shift and will be coming back to this meditation. Thank you 😊

That was beautiful. Thank you so much. I can feel like prana coming back into my hands 😌

This was really helpful. It’s helping me understand my reactions and let go of them in a healthy way

This is a very supportive and encouraging guidance. Thank you 🙏

Short and sweet. It flew by and made me feel more open and strong.

Lovely and helping as always! Thank you so much for all the wonderful meditations!

Thank you for helping me realize how important it is to move my body when feeling insecure and abandoned.

Just.... Thank you. I cried a whole lot during the meditation but I learned that I have the power to shift by moving the body. That was enlightening. Thank you.

This was so helpful. Anxious attachment is so hard to deal with but this gave me a lot of hope. Thank you

So good! I actually feel calmer. Thank you ❤️

Love

Incredibly helpful for me!!!

Felt a real shift. Would love a longer version! The instructor is a natural.