Hi,
This is Ori Krug,
Board-certified dance movement therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on letting go of control so that you can better heal your anxious attachment.
So many anxious attachment behaviors and patterns serve to try to control the outcome of our relationships and our emotions.
But once we realize that we really don't have control over these things,
And that once we surrender this control,
We can be at so much more inner peace,
This in itself can heal or help heal our anxious attachment.
To begin this meditation,
Find a comfortable position that feels supportive to your body right now.
You can sit,
Stand,
Or lay down.
And once you settle into a position,
We're going to take two deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
I'm going to invite you to imagine or visualize or think about a situation or relationship that you have recently tried to control.
And as soon as you tune into this,
Notice if and where your body begins to hold tension.
Where are you feeling a sense of controlling or tensing in your body?
Wherever you feel that,
Allow your body to meet yourself with whatever it needs.
You might instinctually think,
Let me just let go of this tension and release.
That might be what your body needs.
But maybe it's something else.
For example,
If you felt tension in your shoulders,
Maybe you have the natural instinct to bring your hands to your shoulders with a light,
Gentle massage.
Maybe you have the instinct to roll your shoulders back,
Roll your shoulders forth.
Again,
The mind might say,
Let go,
Release this tension.
But the way that your body might want to do that,
Or even not want to do that because it's not ready to release,
Is going to be unique to you.
Forget about all the ways that you might have learned that you need to release tension in your body.
And forget about even trying to release it.
We're not trying to fix anything.
We're not trying to control this tension.
Simply allow your body to lead in a movement or a pose that meets your tension where it's at.
Another example is if you had tension in your hands and your fists became tight.
You might find that you naturally want to wiggle your fingers.
Or you want to squeeze your fists even more.
Or maybe you want to open your palms and put them together.
These are just some examples.
There are no right or wrong movements.
Just the ones that you find are supportive of you right now.
This is the embodiment of letting go of control.
It might be confusing because when you feel control in your body,
You might instinctually think that the way of letting go of this control is to release the tension.
But actually,
That isn't always the way.
Truly letting go of control,
Truly surrendering control,
Is not coming in with a preconceived notion of what the outcome needs to be.
It's being in the moment.
It's surrendering to the flow of whatever is happening right now.
So when you feel tension in your body,
When you feel a desire to control anything in your relationship or your emotions in regards to a relationship,
You do not necessarily need to let that control go.
You need to meet this urge to control where it began.
Maybe you need to embrace the sensation of control and be with it and move with it until you find a natural way to let it go in its right time.
This almost seems counterintuitive,
And it may take a few tries to really have an embodied understanding of letting go of control in this different approach.
I encourage you to repeat this meditation as many times as you need and embody the understanding that letting go of control does not automatically mean releasing control,
So that you can really honor where you are at,
Be present in your relationships,
Even in the uncomfortable feelings,
Even in the anxiety,
And eventually that can lead to being comfortable in the discomfort and healing anxious attachment.
If you'd like to do a deeper dive on healing anxious attachment,
Please visit my profile on Insight Timer,
And you can take my course called Healing Anxious Attachment,
Embodying Security,
Confidence,
And Self-Love.
Until next time,
You deserve all the love that you desire.
