How To Handle Too Many Thoughts?

Thoughts originate as either single, disconnected thoughts or as a string of thoughts. The latter almost always takes us to a dark place! The best way to dismantle the string of thoughts is to understand its mechanism.

Firstly, this way of thinking is a set pattern that needs to be seen as dangerous for our emotional health
Secondly, to look into our past and reconcile, reframe, recontextualize our traumas!
Thirdly, to not lean into the first thought that lures us into this abyss of emotions.

Transcript

Let's close our eyes. A lot of the times we are bothered by our own thoughts. At times we might even feel that we are overpowered by our thoughts. I'm sure we have been in situations where a string of thoughts, Usually triggered by something or the other, Takes us into a really dark place of either fear or regret or anger. We're not looking at the trigger or we are not looking at the dark place that we end up in. We're trying to understand the mechanism that is coming into play here. Understanding what's happening inside of us. And that's why a lot of practices, Meditation practices especially, Condemn thoughts or there's a popular misunderstanding about how when we meditate we are controlling our thoughts. Our thoughts need to be controlled. And if the bombardment of thoughts continues, Then we are not really meditating. It's not a good meditation. So somehow thoughts is a bad guy here. We're not trying to blame anyone or anything. Whatever is our experience, Whatever is our experience, That's our truth. Categorizing it as good or bad is a very man-made thing and that's not what we are interested in doing here. Our aim here is to understand. So then there are thoughts that are not really bad if we go with the contemporary understanding of thoughts or categorization of thoughts. Let's say you feel hunger. You'll have a thought of hunger or thirst. Sometimes there's a thought that is here to remind you to turn off the gas or that you've forgotten your phone somewhere. Then there are thoughts about creativity or sometimes mundane things. What should I make for lunch or what should I cook for dinner? These are all thoughts as well and I'm sure right now you're having thoughts. Just like you're having perception of my sounds coming from my mouth, You're having thoughts. But the nature of these thoughts is very intermittent. It's like there is a thought of hunger and you will probably go and eat something or drink something. As a matter of fact, There's a thought that makes you check your phone as well constantly. But there's a thought followed by an action and that most of the time ends that thought. And very rarely there is suffering. And by suffering I mean psychological pain. Very rarely there is suffering associated with these kind of thoughts. There might be repercussions of our actions based on which thoughts we entertain and which we don't. But in the moment, The things that bother us, The thoughts that bother us, The emotions that bother us are never led by these kind of intermittent or sparing thoughts. And then there is a string of thoughts which almost always begins with a thought. One thought leads to another thought, Leads to another thought, Leads to another thought and then here we are in a really dark place. Maybe we have anxiety, Maybe we have panic attacks. But it's never that one thought that leads us to this place. It's a very special thought. A very special flavor of that thought that we lean into, That triggers, That shows interest. For example, If you have a really absurd thought, You're not going to lean into it and create a string of thoughts. You're just going to acknowledge it as, Oh, It's a weird thought. Next. But somehow we have these special thoughts. Thoughts are ordinary. Our connection to them is special, Associated very strongly with fear or desire. And once these kind of thoughts, A single thought appears, We lean in, We register our interest and then a string of thoughts appears. Let's say for hypothetical reasons, You hear your manager say something about you. Then a string of thoughts can begin. Does he not like me? Does she not like me? What happened? Was it because of this? Oh, It's probably because of that, That mistake that I made. Maybe I should go and apologize. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it's her fault. Nobody supported me. You know, It's that person's fault. Eckhart Tolle calls this the neurosis of mind. This kind of string of thoughts. And eventually, And this is a pretty commonplace event, But this can happen in our relationships with our friends, With our spouses, With our children, With our parents. Once we are in that dark place, We have set a neurological pattern or we have operated from an already well-established neurological pattern. So although the triggers might be different, We are probably ending up experiencing the same emotion in a cyclical way. Every other day, Every day, Every week, Whenever the trigger appears, It carries us along with it to that same experience. What to do? And then once we are in that dark place, We find different ways, Sometimes extreme ways of alleviating our pain, Our psychological pain through substances and whatnot. But what if we realized, We first understood the mechanism of how we end up in a very familiar place again and again. And then to realize the futility of reaching that place and the harm it is causing us constantly, If we unanimously agree that this mechanism is not serving me at all, We are sending a clear message to the universe, To our brains, To nature, To God, Whatever is sending those thoughts our way. Let's just put it that way. We're sending a clear message that I'm done. It's like someone who has an alcohol problem or a smoking problem when they decide they are done. Once you decide I'm done, Then the previous momentum of our habit, And note that this is a habit, The neurological patterns are just very well established. So this pattern, The momentum of this pattern will probably need some, Or in some cases, A lot of time to die down. That does not mean our decision needs to be made. That does not mean our decision needs to dwindle, Or we have not decided hard enough. But it's just that the previous momentum might be very strong for someone, Might not be so strong for someone. Either way, It has to die down. But the decision needs to be unanimous. And by unanimous, I mean, From all parts of you, From every part of you, Every cell of you. It's not that the thought is pulling you there. Our interest in that first or the second thought, I mean, Mostly first thought, Otherwise there won't be a second thought, In that string of thoughts. Our interest is taking us into this dark place. And that interest is many times based on previous trauma, Previous life experiences, Or previous interpretations of our life experiences. And that is something we should actively look into, Into cleaning house, Into realizing that all the trauma of the past can be healed in the now, Can be accepted in the now, Can be forgiven, Can be recontextualized, Reframed, Reinterpreted in the now. Once that is done, The interest starts dying down. And there's not a lot. There's only a few that keep coming up again and again, Again and again, In different ways, In different flavors, Through different triggers. It's not a lifelong endeavor of recontextualizing our previous experiences. There are only a handful of previous experiences that keep haunting us, Calling us out to release us. Firstly, The decision. Secondly, The dismantling of our interest. And then the last is the recognition of that first thought that is trying to lure us in. Think of the following analogy. Imagine being in Manhattan, Being in Times Square, Pretty crowded, And you want to go towards a particular destination within Times Square. And what you have always ended up doing is you have bumped into some people early on, And you've always ended up in fights and never reached your destination. But you really want to reach your destination every single time you go to Times Square. So right now, You want to reach your destination from point A to point B within Times Square. In this analogy, The people you keep bumping into, The crowd that you keep bumping into is your thoughts. What if you found your way between those thoughts, Around those thoughts? Instead of seeing those people as something to be bumped into, What if we saw them as something to be avoided, To be gone around? Because we already know what happens when we bump into them. Why would we do that again and again? We don't have to take the bait every time. We've taken it enough number of times to realize we A, End up in a dark place, And B, Nothing good comes out of reaching that place or thinking about the same thing again and again. Can we move through the crowd? And sometime you might even realize that the crowd has nothing personal against you. They're all going in their particular direction. They don't know you. They don't want anything from you. They are going in their direction and you want to go in yours. That's what thoughts are. They appear and they disappear. We think they have a personal vendetta against us, But they don't. Once we stop bumping into them, We probably will start seeing them as enemies. Here's a challenge for you. Try not taking the bait of one of these thoughts that bother you and see where you end up. Chances are this thought might come again, But at least you started eroding the neurological patterns, The habit, The momentum, And these three things will feed into each other. The unanimous decision, The dismantling of our interest, And this avoiding bumping into our thoughts. And you might end up in a very, Very different psychological state for good, For better, Feeling a lot happier and relaxed than ever. Thank you.