Let us close our eyes.
Our human experience comprises of two realms,
If you may.
One is the external realm,
Where we interact with other people through our actions and relationships.
And the other realm is the internal realm,
Where we interact with ourselves through thoughts and feelings.
I am including images,
Imaginations,
Everything in thoughts.
I am including images,
Imaginations,
Everything in thoughts.
Although I am drawing an imaginary line between external and internal,
It is only for explanation purposes.
Whatever we feel inside trickles into our relationships and actions.
And the way we act and relate influences how we feel and think.
So there is no real separation.
But if we were to humor such separation,
What we seek in life is congruence.
Congruence in the way we act and relate based on how we think and feel.
We experience a lot of pain when we act and behave a certain way,
Whereas we think and feel a completely different way.
I am sure we have come across people where they say something and act completely opposite.
I am sure we are not immune to that behavior either.
But what decides the quality of our lives is this congruence.
And an important metric to decide this congruence or to reflect this congruence is the way we feel if we feel more relaxed in our daily life,
Less conflicted,
Less anxious.
Then chances are we are saying what we are thinking.
We are acting the way we are thinking.
We are relating to others the way we are thinking about them.
There is authenticity inside out with our loved ones,
With our acquaintances and co-workers and with random people on the street.
Anxiety happens when we want to say something,
But we cannot say it.
Conflict happens when we want to say something or we want to say no,
But we are forced to say yes,
Forced out of habit more than anything else.
And the reason,
One of the reasons for this dissonance,
The internal dissonance is a lack of clarity and sometimes lack of courage in addition to the lack of clarity.
In order to be clear,
We need to be very still.
We need to be very methodical.
We need to be very present.
Stillness gives us a distance and time to maneuver through what is happening.
It is almost always in a storm of emotions,
Of thoughts.
But that is just an apparent storm.
Storm of thoughts and sensations flooding us.
We are view.
A walk in the park.
A run.
Sometimes even a nap.
And help us become a little more centered and stable in this storm.
Sometimes we are a little centered.
We can skillfully work with different aspects of the problem in a strategic way by either writing them down,
Taking it outside of us onto a piece of paper,
Making it a little simpler,
A little less personal and a little less overwhelming.
A well-defined problem,
Even if it is something that is overwhelming us and is very emotionally charged in nature.
But even if we could well define that problem,
We are halfway to understanding what needs to be done.
All this requires us to be present,
Still.
That is what brings clarity.
Based on my experience,
What needs to be done is not something that needs to be decided.
When you start streamlining all the information on a piece of paper,
What needs to be done is presented by the paper itself.
Then it is a matter of courage to see and accept what the problem is and what needs to be done.
And then to do it,
Both require courage.
So,
Congruence is a result of clarity and courage.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And action.
Thank you.
Sometimes this conflict and anxiety becomes very high and cannot be ignored.
It's like a loud experience that is crying out for our attention.
But the lower amplitudes of the same conflict or anxiety happens to us on a daily basis,
Far below the threshold where we can attend to it.
What gives us peace is the congruence.
The congruence between the internal and the external realms of our experience.
Otherwise,
We are engulfed by sadness,
Guilt,
Regret,
Anxiety.
So,
Instead of ignoring these feelings,
I would encourage you to explore these feelings,
To understand why they are arising.
They are not negative feelings.
They don't need to be shunned or suppressed.
They are the best pieces of feedback nature has built into our system,
To orient us towards congruence and happiness.
Just like we spent years in school studying a particular subject.
This can become one of the most important studies in our lives,
Studying ourselves.
And the reward is not a job.
The reward is sustained happiness,
Peace,
The confidence of living a fulfilled life.
Thank you.
