Lesson 1
Introduction & Loving Kindness Towards Self
In this first lesson, Anne starts with a five-minute introduction to the practice of Loving Kindness, which we’ll also refer to as Mettā, its original Pali name. Anne goes over some of the benefits, and the mechanics, so to speak, and she shares some recent academic findings about the minimum effort required to start feeling said benefits in our lives.
Anne also talks about the phrases that are traditionally the core of the practice. The phrases are like well-wishes, that have a universal connotation, meaning we could imagine that all beings in the world would want to hear them.
Surprise, surprise, the first recipient of Loving Kindness is yourself, and in the second half of the lesson, we get started with the practice.
Let’s dive into day 1.
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Lesson 2
Loving Kindness Towards A Benefactor
In this lesson, Anne introduces the next category of people we will be practicing Loving Kindness towards, which is classically known as the ‘benefactor’. Think of it as someone who has touched your life in a positive way, whether they are a loved one, a teacher, or someone further afield that you may not even know personally.
Anne invites us to bring an image of this person to mind as we start, and then to find a rhythm with the practice, connecting the breath and phrases.
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Lesson 3
Loving Kindness Towards A Neutral Person
Anne offers an introduction to the practice of Loving Kindness towards the next category of recipient, known as the ‘neutral person’, aka someone we barely know.
Unlike most meditation practices, Loving Kindness invites us to put our attention on the wishes and needs of others. And where attention goes, energy flows. With this practice we indirectly create a connection towards strangers, and studies have shown that even a short Loving Kindness practice increases social connectedness[10] .
Anne talks about choosing the right phrases for ourselves and invites us to pay attention to our posture, as she suggests we want the body to feel at ease before we start sending Loving Kindness wishes to our neutral person.
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Lesson 4
Loving Kindness Towards A Challenging Person
person in our lives.
In practicing with someone difficult, we’re not saying everything is nice, and we are not ignoring issues or pretending they didn’t happen. Our only task is to focus as best we can on the phrases and the recipient. Also it’s important to choose ‘slightly’ challenging people when we enter into this practice.
Despite that, if at any point it becomes too uncomfortable to work with the difficult person, you can let go and come back to Loving Kindness towards yourself or a loved one.
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Lesson 5
Loving Kindness Towards Someone We Have Been Difficult With
In this lesson, having worked with someone challenging, we turn to another recipient, someone towards whom we have been challenging. Before the practice, Anne explores quotes from meditation teacher and author Sharon Salzberg as well as buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, who both invite us in their own to consider how in approaching meditation — including Loving Kindness practice — we aren’t trying to change ourselves, instead learning to befriend who we already are.
Anne also touches on the similarities between Loving Kindness and mindfulness in terms of adopting a non-judgemental, kind awareness.
She says: ‘the practice here is to meet ourselves where we are, with kindness and non-judgement.’ A good stance for meditation, as well as for life.
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Lesson 6
Loving Kindness Towards A Group Of People
In this lesson, Anne speaks to the cultivation of benevolence, wanting well for others, and how Loving Kindness is a catalyst that helps develop ‘pro-social’ emotions. As we go from Loving Kindness for ourselves, and then for varied recipients, we enhance and strengthen our sense of care and connection towards others, leading to improved soft skills that can support us throughout our lives.
Often referred to as heart practices, these pro-social emotions deepen relationships, provide robust soft skills for personal and professional endeavours, and further enhance one’s quality of life.
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Lesson 7
Extending Loving Kindness Towards All Beings
In this lesson, we are reminded that Loving Kindness is a concentration practice, and that the energy we muster within to dedicate towards the repetition of the phrases, can be built up to send Loving Kindness to all beings.
Anne talks to the importance of practicing mindfulness alongside Mettā. They are considered sister practices, also referred to as the ‘Two Wings of Mindfulness’, one being wisdom (developed through mindfulness and insight meditation), the other one being compassion, developed by the regular practice of Loving Kindness, joy, equanimity and compassion.
A bird cannot fly with one wing. From wisdom, comes insights. We get intimate with ourselves. We get to know our experience, inside and out. From compassion, we learn how to be with ourselves and how to be with others.
Anne concludes that the combined practices ‘teach us to look inwards and outwards, and plant seeds that are fertilized by the soil that is a wise mind.’
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Lesson 8
Pulling It All Together
This last lesson, the conclusion to this course into the fundamentals of Loving Kindness, is meant to be a culmination, pulling it all together. The goal being to give us, students, all we need to start practicing Loving Kindness on a regular basis.
To end the course, Anne pulls from neuroscience to offer a scientific frame for some of the benefits we have come to learn about. Crucially, she points out that Loving Kindness boosts the brain circuits for joy and happiness, as well as increases connections between these regions and the prefrontal cortex – a zone critical for guiding behavior.
Anne ends by speaking to what she considers to be the ‘jewel’ of the practice before guiding us through a full 30 min Loving Kindness meditation.
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