Widening The Circle With Loving Kindness
This Loving Kindness meditation practice focuses on enlarging our family circle by drawing to mind the self, moving to a neutral person and then, a difficult person, finishing with sending the Mettā wishes to all beings everywhere around the world.
Transcript
Today we are going to be practicing loving kindness or metta meditation.
As an introduction,
I found this beautiful quote by Mother Teresa.
She said,
The problem with the world is that we draw our family circle too small.
For those of you who have practiced loving kindness before,
You will know that the classical order starts with sending well wishes of universal nature towards ourselves first,
Then repeating these phrases,
These mantras internally,
Silently to ourselves,
And moving on to a benefactor or a loved one,
Then moving on to a neutral person,
Someone who we have no real relationship with,
Someone whose name we may not even know,
And then moving towards someone difficult in our life.
And towards the end of practice,
Hopefully warmed up,
So to speak,
Having practiced and repeated these phrases,
These mantras,
These well wishes towards all these different categories,
We then imagine or attempt to carry this intention,
This wish towards all beings,
Everywhere around the world.
Now before we get started,
I'm going to invite you to take a comfortable posture.
A comfortable posture in the context of metta or loving kindness is not necessarily the same as if you were practicing TM,
Transcendental meditation,
Mantra,
Or mindfulness.
So I'd like you to take a comfortable seat,
Perhaps where you're going to feel a little bit more supported.
If you'd prefer,
You can also choose to practice lying down,
Or you can take a few steps and practice loving kindness while softly and slowly walking,
Whether in a garden or wherever you are,
Connecting perhaps the phrases with the breath or the phrases with the steps.
So whichever posture you have chosen,
Just take an extra second to really adjust,
Make sure everything feels right.
And let's get started.
First I'd like to invite you to take three deep breaths in and out with me.
So exhaling all of your air out,
Take a deep breath in through the nose.
And breathing out with a big sigh out.
Breathing in.
And release with a deep,
Long,
Slow sigh out.
And one third deep,
Deep breath in.
And release.
Release and relax.
I also would like you to make an intention for this practice.
It could be an intention of being fully present,
Fully aware.
It could be an intention around opening the heart,
Opening the heart to widen the circle of those we care for.
Or it could be an intention of kindness for yourself and anyone else who touches your life.
So whatever it is,
Just making that intention and releasing it.
We're going to start with loving kindness towards self.
So repeating the phrases silently.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
May I feel loved.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
And may I feel loved.
So connecting with each of the phrases as best you can,
Putting all of your attention,
All of your focus on each of them one at a time.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
May I feel loved.
May I be well.
Perhaps you can even visualize or sense what you're like when you feel really well.
Where do you feel it in the body?
How do you feel when you're really well?
May I be happy.
Happiness is a difficult word for some of us.
But here just imagine how do you feel when you feel content?
When you find joy,
Even in small things.
May I be happy.
Perhaps you can even invite a sense of this happiness in this moment.
Can you notice any shifts or change in posture?
As you think of these states,
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
Can you remember a time where you felt deeply at peace?
How do you feel,
Who are you,
When you're peaceful?
And how does that peacefulness,
That sense of groundedness,
Touch others?
May I feel loved and connected.
And perhaps you can think of a time or imagine,
Visualize an event where you felt deeply loved in a sense of connection and belonging to others,
Family,
Friends,
Pets.
It could be strangers.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
And may I feel loved.
Repeating the phrases silently to yourself for the next minute or two,
I invite you to try and meet each phrase and synchronize it with a breath.
Using your own rhythm with the practice.
Breathing in,
May I be well.
Breathing out,
May I be happy.
Breathing in,
May I feel peaceful.
Breathing out,
May I feel loved.
If at any point you notice that your mind has wandered off,
That's completely okay.
This is where you notice and you come back and you recommit to the phrases and to the person you're sending these well wishes to,
In this case yourself.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
And may I feel loved.
And now let's move to practice metta towards a neutral person.
So I'd like you to think of someone who you have crossed paths with and imagining the library of faces and people in your mind.
Just pick one and let's concentrate and put as much focus and attention on this person and imagining or connecting with the fact that they too want to be well,
To live a life that's free from suffering and to feel loved and connected.
As best you can,
You can try to imagine this person in your mind's eye.
Perhaps you can remember their smile or their eyes,
Whatever it is.
And repeating silently,
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
And perhaps you can notice,
Is it easier or harder to concentrate on this neutral person?
How is it different from sending loving kindness,
Metta to yourself?
And we're not making up stories here,
We're just noticing and perhaps it's easier.
May you be well.
Perhaps you can imagine this person that you barely know and imagine them being really well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved and connected.
Now let's move to a difficult person.
So I'd like you to bring to mind someone who has been perhaps a little bit annoying lately.
Let's not go towards anything traumatic.
But perhaps someone who's been short with you lately.
And let's send these same wishes.
Let's repeat these phrases.
And direct them as best we can with as much attention as possible to our difficult person.
Again if you can,
You can try to bring an image of that person in your mind.
If not you could repeat their name before starting with,
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
May you be well.
If working with the breath works for you then continue to try and time and find that rhythm to help focus the mind on the intention as well as the recipient.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
And now I'd like you to come back to yourself for a moment.
And if you dare,
I'm going to invite you to bring a soft smile to your lips.
If you're on your own that shouldn't be too weird.
Bring that gentle smile to your lips.
And perhaps take a deep breath in.
A deep breath out.
And with a sense of renewed energy,
Send yourself that extra dose of loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
And may I feel loved.
May I be well.
May I be happy.
May I feel peaceful.
And may I feel loved.
You can let the phrases reverberate.
And for a second you can scan your body and notice how are you feeling at this stage in this practice of loving kindness.
And keeping that smile.
Now let's send these same well wishes.
Let's use all of our power of concentration,
Our focus and our intention,
The one that is contained within the phrases to wish all beings everywhere.
The same what we've wished for ourselves,
Our close circle.
So perhaps with a beaming smile on your face now,
Repeating the phrases.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you feel peaceful.
And may you feel loved.
Again you can let the phrases reverberate just for a few seconds.
Notice how you feel.
Notice or observe your breath.
Bodily sensations.
Notice any shifts and changes since the beginning of the practice.
And check in with your intention.
And if that feels appropriate,
Perhaps you can carry that same intention into the rest of the day or the rest of your week.
This concludes our metta meditation.
Thank you so much for joining me.
Namaste.
