Befriend Yourself: A Self-Love Journey

"The mind is everything. What you think you become." - Buddha We need to uncover our internal barriers to self-love which may not be obvious to you, so together, let's look for some clues by taking a simple test. There are a few behaviors that signal a lack of love for one's self. You can check if you may be suffering from some of the symptoms that reveal how self-loathing has already had an impact on your life.

“You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha The concept of self-love should not be confused with narcissism and selfishness. Rather, look to the ancient wisdom of the Buddhists. Self-compassion is emphasized often in Buddhist teachings and can lead us to the steps we need to take towards loving ourselves in a natural and healthy way.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” - Buddha When you shift the way you speak to yourself and see yourself, you unlock your true potential. What will you set free? What talent of yours is hiding under those negative deeply rooted lies that you still believe about yourself? Are those things that you loathe really true?

“Don’t believe false doctrines, Don’t follow the way of the world.” - Buddha Your unconscious mind is so deeply programmed to see yourself in a negative light that it doesn’t know anything different. This lesson will show you how to reframe negative thinking with cognitive therapy. We also learn to let go of blame and resentment and accept that we are responsible for our own health and happiness.

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care.” - Buddha This is a very detailed lesson on everything you need to know about affirmations and how to make them really work for you. A powerful law of the mind is “where focus goes, energy flows.” Thoughts create our reality. It is time to re-focus and re-direct your energy into a positive direction. Recognize where you are sending your attention so you can stop wasting your power on things that aren’t supportive of your growth towards love.

“A negative mind will never give you a positive life.” - Buddha This lesson helps you to accept the past so you can release it. Reframing the story doesn’t mean to rewrite history, it means we can step back from a wider angle to see where it was different and we can provide details that allow us see where our thinking had become distorted regarding the incident. It is our thinking that continues to hurt us - not the event that is over!

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect” - Buddha This is a big lesson that focuses on romantic relationships and how they fit in with our self-love. You are given an opportunity to accept that you are not broken even though you may have a broken heart. There is nothing about you that needs to be fixed. Your heart has been broken open to allow the walls you have built around it to fall away so rather than falling in love, we can RISE in love, with the love we have for ourselves with plenty to share and more than enough for another.

“Pain is certain. suffering is optional.” - Buddha This lesson is about pure acceptance of every part of ourselves. Understanding that the darkness is necessary for transition. We, as meditators, have learned to not believe everything we think and the same idea applies to everything we feel. Emotions are also temporary in nature and will soon be replaced with another feeling. Let them come and go without attaching a false belief or distorted thought to it. The distorted thinking comes from our wound. Loneliness is an echo of an old wound and solitude is a gift from the present moment.

“Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.” - Buddha Showing gratitude means showing love. Seeing love and feeling love can be as simple as appreciating the smallest thing about yourself. Being grateful for all the amazing things about you is to extend love to all aspects of yourself. Where focus goes, energy flows so let’s focus on all the good to get that positive energy flowing in our own deserving direction.

“Radiate boundless love towards the entire world.” - Buddha This lesson is about love in action. Our cup of self-love is overflowing so we have more love to give back and share with the world. More love is not just what you need but what the world needs right now. Releasing the need to criticize and compare ourselves to others not only allows more peace into our life, but contributes to world peace by rippling out the vibration of peace and love every time we are compassionate to ourselves. Learn to become love in action.