Holding Complexity: July 1 And July 4

14:25

14:25

Holding Complexity: July 1 And July 4

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

1

Canada Day and the Fourth of July can bring up more than celebration. In this practice, we work with holding both truths at once: appreciation for where you live and honesty about colonization and ongoing harm. You'll move through a body safety check-in, cyclic physiological sighing to settle your nervous system, and a chance to sit with the discomfort of complexity without falling into shame or defensiveness. Lynn also shares her own experience as a white settler in Nova Scotia and as a member of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, and how she works with holding more than one truth at a time. This practice can be used with any complicated or mixed-feelings holiday.

Nervous System Breathing Techniques Shame Self Compassion Mindful Breathing Cultural Reflection Emotional Resilience Nervous System Regulation Cyclic Sighing Fight Flight Freeze Response

Meet your Teacher

Halifax Canada

Meet your Teacher

Halifax Canada

Transcript

Today is Canada Day, Which is like the United States July 4th. So I wanted to touch a little bit in a gentle way around holidays that are like this. And really with the approach of can we hold the complexity, The both end, And not shame ourselves for where we are in the world. And at the same time as that, Bring in the truth. Settle in and notice what we noticed. When we're looking at difficult issues, Especially relating to social justice, Social injustice, There's a lot of complexity to that. We might find ourselves on different sides, So to speak, Of different things. As a lesbian, I'm on that side of the spectrum. The battle around rights for 2SLGBTQIA plus people. I've been out since the 1970s when I was in my early 20s. And so I've got a lot of experience with that. And I also have experience as a white person, White settler. My ancestors came from Scotland primarily in 1773. So I have those complexities. So as we're holding the complexities, Let's go into some nervous system regulating practices and see if we can hold with truth and with kindness. So right now, As you're looking around the particular space that you're in. Do you feel safe here? Now I've obviously just been bringing up some difficult things. We have a response to that. But physically with your body, Are you safe in the environment that you're in right now? And one of the ways to check that out is to look around and see. If you've been in the place that you're in a lot, Your mind can predict, Your nervous system can predict that you're gonna be safe here. Then it's a lot easier to take a deep breath and let down our guard. Is my body safe? I know we don't have a guarantee there. But right now in this moment, This is really the magic of mindfulness. If right now we can predict with some certainty that our body will be safe, Then we could let the hypervigilance ease a little. We could go off guard a bit. Oftentimes what's going on in our body, Even when we're doing a relaxation practice, Is that we're on guard, We're alert. We're ready to move into fight or flight. And sometimes we're feeling kind of overwhelmed and we're in more of a freeze. So part of what we're using our logical mind and our higher mind for right now. Notice how you're feeling now. Part of what makes us able to hold the complexity of our lives, Personally as well as communally, Is we can have that capacity to come back and breathe and move and come out of a fight, Flight, Or freeze. So if you're feeling a little more comfortable, Maybe you could soften the muscles of your back. As you're breathing out, Let your stomach relax. Let's bring back the topic of two sides. Both end. It's Canada Day today. Where we celebrate our country, Canada. A lot of wonderful things about living in Canada. And I really appreciate many of them. I really appreciate where I live in Nova Scotia. I used to live in the prairies and longed to live at the ocean and now I live at the ocean. And yesterday I went out on the beach with my dog and we had a long walk and there's not that many people here. So we had lots of quiet. And there was a bald eagle that was busy eating something that was on the shore. I didn't go that far because I didn't want to disturb it and watch the waves. So there's all of that beauty. I know a lot about my ancestors who came over from the highlands of Scotland when the British were smashing the clan systems. It wasn't safe for them to be there. So there's all of that. This land was already full of indigenous people when our ancestors arrived, When white people, White Europeans arrived. That is also true. I love living in Canada. I love so many things about it. And I'm a white settler and I have that privilege. The both and. There were already people here. White European culture tends to be very extractivist. We see the resources that are here as ours for the taking. That is not at all the way of life of Indigenous people. So a lot of the issues that we're seeing in the world now are part of capitalism. They're part of colonization. And the harm that was done is not 400 or 500 years ago, It's not 200, It's not 100 years ago, It's right now. How can we hold all of this? So let's sit with that for a moment, Take some breath. Wherever you are on this particular both end whoever you care about and love where they are on this particular both end. You sit with that for a moment, Let that in. One of the most debilitating things that could happen. Is that we could be full of shame. I'm part of this colonizing culture and I've caused immense harm. I'm no good. So if we're going into shame, There's a pathway there. And then we might get defensive. We might be like, Well, It wasn't me. It was my ancestors 200 years ago. However we might defend ourselves from that. So if we feel shame, Or if we're being shamed, We go into some kind of a fight response usually. Or we might go into a freeze and a shame. Shame is very threatening. One of the things that shame does is it puts blinders on us. We're not able to really hold the complexity of the day. Of this is a day in Canada where we celebrate that we colonized this land. And we hold complexity of that. And on Saturday, It's the same for the United States. If we go into a battle in our mind, I didn't do that. Nothing I can do about that now. So more of a fight response. I'm not going to think about that. More of a flight. Or a freeze, This is just too overwhelming. I'm not gonna be able to handle this if I really let it in. So I get kind of numbed out if we're in a freeze response. All of those are completely natural. I really understand how hard this is. I work with this myself all the time. So can we hold where we are on this particular issue? And also hold ourselves as a human being. Worthy of respect and kindness. Let's do a little bit of cyclic sighing. Cyclic physiological sighing is very helpful to bring ourselves into this moment to regulate our nervous system. So it's a deep double inhale through the nose. And then on the exhale, We breathe out like we're breathing out through a thin straw. And just let the exhalation go longer. So inhale. Exhale. And when we purse our lips like that, It's easy to breathe out for a much longer time. And as we're breathing out, Let ourselves relax. Notice the energy and sensations in your body. There might be a lot that's feeling kind of stirred up right now. Notice that if it's there. Right now we're not trying to figure anything out. We're not trying to change the world. We're just having a few minutes of being present with ourselves with kindness. And as you're breathing out, Soften your shoulders. Your upper back, Let your back and your body be supported. Notice your thoughts. What's going on in our mind is often very indicative of what's going on unconsciously. Are we in a fight, Flight, Or freeze? Are you mad at me for bringing it up and ruining your day? That would be understandable as well. We don't have a lot of logic going on when we're in a survival response. And then the other thing that happens in a survival response is that we don't have an open heart. We can't access connection with other people, Let alone kindness and compassion with ourselves or with others. So if we were to bring our awareness into our heart right now. And offer yourself some kind of grace here. This is a difficult, Complex situation. I have a range of responses. I'm a human being. And I can offer myself kindness and respect. And then if you were to bring in an awareness of people on the other side. In this particular instance, Working with Canada Day, The 4th of July, People on the other side of the original Indigenous people that were here before colonization. We've broken a lot of promises. I go right into shame. Try to keep yourself out of shame. We're looking at this. Breathing, Just trying to hold that there's a complexity here. And after we've had some time with this, Then we might be inspired to take some kind of action. But this moment is not about action. This moment is, Can I open my heart and acknowledge with kindness and respect the Indigenous people of this land? You might not know any in person. You might have some in your family. You might have friends. You might be very involved with Indigenous people. Whatever your situation is, Could I acknowledge the impact of colonization on the indigenous people of this land? And could I hold that? That's very difficult to hold. Coming back into a bit more neutral. Could I be kind and access my own compassion right now? If you're in a shame response or if you're defensive, Completely understandable. Let's bring ourselves back. Let's do a couple more cyclic sighs. Deep inhale through the nose twice. And a long, Slow exhale. Let's let this go. We've come in, We've visited it, We've worked with it a little. Now we're gonna let it go. Inhaling, Double inhale. Long, Slow exhale like you're breathing out through a straw. Let yourself look around again. Notice your body. There might be some more difficult energy in your body. It might be helpful to get up and do a shake or do something that moves that out of your body. Take some really deep breaths and long exhales. Makes some noise. We can do this practice for many different issues and we can do it just with the best of our ability to be kind. And clear. To let in the complexities. To respect ourselves and each other. And to find ways to connect here. These are complex situations. One individual person is never responsible for all of it. And when we work together, We can often really change how the situation is in the world, But we have to start with how it is inside of us. So if this brought up a lot of defense or shame or something like that, It would be really worth working with that for a while. Can I hold myself with kindness and respect? Letting myself be accountable. This is the situation, This is kind of where I stand on this situation. This is the social power I have, The white privilege, Whatever that might be for you. And this is part of being human in this culture, In this world that we live in. There's so much that we could do that would help, That would make a difference. And we can't do any of that if we're stuck in shame or if we're in a fight response or if we're just ignoring it. So thank you for entertaining this with me.