Childless | At What Cost?

After 6 IUI’s, 3 IVF’s, ten thousands of dollars, relationship challenges, and being really close to a depression. It was enough… Quitting was my act of self-love. Trust me, that was the hardest decision of my life! And now we’re entering a whole new phase… what does life look like being childless?

Despite all the reasons to stay silent, I choose to speak up… Not because I’m looking for sympathy or pity.. But because I know that opening up these honest yet sensitive conversations will benefit so many people around me..

I’m on a mission to raise awareness around childlessness so that together we can help change the conversation… and make sure that unsolicited advice turns into support… real support that leaves us feeling empowered and a little less lonely in this incredibly challenging journey…

Transcript

Thank you for being here.

My name is Rianna.

I'm a serial entrepreneur,

Full-time traveler,

Happily married and childless.

Not by choice.

I tried to explain this whole quitting with IVF thing to my neighbor yesterday,

And I think I said it quite brilliantly.

I said,

Let me phrase it like this.

Do you want to be rich?

He said,

Yeah,

Of course.

And I asked him,

What would you do if you were rich?

And he was explaining all his dreams and visions.

And then I asked him,

What if I told you that I can make you rich right now,

But that it will cost you one lakh?

Would you still want it?

He was looking shocked and I heard him doubting and not sure what to say.

And I said,

Okay,

Instead of a lakh,

We can do an arm.

Is that better?

And then he started negotiating,

Like the complete arm or half of the arm.

You know,

That's the thing.

We all want to be rich,

But at what cost?

You know,

I simply wanted to have a baby,

So badly,

But at what cost?

And don't forget,

You'll not know if it will ever happen.

After six years of battling infertility and being very close to a depression,

It was enough.

It doesn't mean that I didn't want it badly enough.

It doesn't mean that I changed my mind.

I still would have loved to have that baby and family life I always dreamed of,

But the cost was too high.

Thank you so much for listening.

I'm here to remind you that your journey is valid,

Your emotions are valid,

And that you're not alone.

You can follow me for more talks on living this unexpected life.

Reviews

Beautiful insight into the acceptance some of us make in coming to peace with our childlessness. Thank you for sharing this. May you be at peace.