What Nervous System Regulation Actually Feels Like

What does it feel like to be emotionally What does it feel like when you're emotionally regulated?

We all have a sense of dysregulation.

Our nervous system assesses the threat.

We go into a response.

Sometimes we go into freeze,

We get kind of numbed out,

We disconnect,

Dissociate.

Other times we go into a fight or flight.

Our body revs up,

It prepares to move into action.

We hold our breath.

Often our body gets very still.

We don't want to be detected.

When we're in a state of nervous system dysregulation,

We might lash out and say something that's harmful in our relationships.

We might freeze and become difficult to connect with.

What does it feel like to be regulated?

In one way,

It's the opposite of all of that.

It's not a dramatic state.

And it might be kind of quiet and hard to pick up on.

Especially if we spend years in chronic stress and nervous system dysregulation.

We have a steadier breath,

More continuous and smooth.

We're not holding our breath.

Our body,

Which used to be tight,

Preparing for trouble,

Bracing ourselves,

Is looser,

Softer.

We can go from years of painful neck and shoulders to being able to move our head and neck without hurting.

We can think more clearly.

When we're in a nervous system response,

All of our resources go into responding to the threat.

When we're regulated and we know that we're safe enough in this moment,

Our whole thinking brain comes online.

We have access to our heart,

To compassion,

And to our wisdom and intuition.

Learning to notice feeling safe enough helps to build the capacity to return here.

When we're in an alarmed state,

There's a lot of alarming thoughts in the mind.

When we feel safer,

There's more quiet,

More stillness.

Maybe even more opportunity to think about happy things.

To go outside and take a few breaths.

To appreciate music.

To look at someone and appreciate the warmth of our relationship,

We're beginning to feel safety from the inside.

And that safety allows us to move more easily through life,

To move through life with more grace.

And to connect more deeply and have a more meaningful life.

Small practices that we repeat consistently,

Like remembering to take a breath.

Relaxing our shoulders.

Opening our heart,

Offering ourselves compassion,

Build this capacity over time.