Lektion 1
The Mother Of Your Child
The first topic of this course around becoming a father is the mother of your child. Way before your child is born your journey as a father begins. Your journey begins when three words have been spoken, and these three words are “I am pregnant”. No matter what you feel in this second, it is not as important as you think it might be. The way you feel in that moment is a reflection of your mental state of that very moment, it is not a reflection of your capacity of being a father. No matter who you are, you have the capacity to be a great father.
Lektion 2
Understand The Value Of Time
Now we arrived at the next topic around becoming a father which is time. Let me start this section with a quote by Theodore Roosevelt.
“There are many kinds of success in life worth having. It is exceedingly interesting and attractive to be a successful business man, or railway man, or farmer, or a successful lawyer or doctor; or a writer, or a President, or a ranchman, or the colonel of a fighting regiment, or to kill grizzly bears and lions. But for unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison.”
Lektion 3
Become A Tree
Our next topic around fatherhood is to be a tree. Often the metaphor of being the rock is used when talking about fatherhood, but I think a tree is much more fitting. Let me explain what I mean by being a tree. In order to be a great father you need to be able to tap into your masculinity. If asked of you, you need to be able to be a guidand. You need to be able to offer strength and certainty without dominance. You need to be able to be strict without being controlling. You need to be able to be firm without being harsh. You need to be able to make the right decisions, not the easy ones. You need to be strong, but flexible, you need to be a tree.
Lektion 4
Be a Cuddle-Bear
Now that we have looked at the masculine strength that is required of a father, let us also look at the softness that is required. Let us talk about being a cuddle bear for your child. Cuddling is extremely important for a long list of reasons, and it is often something that is hard to do for lots of men. There is often a misconception that being soft with your child makes you appear weak. I don’t think that is true, I think being soft with your child is extremely important. I would argue that a father who is in touch with his masculine side, with his strength, can allow himself to be soft and cuddly whenever needed
Lektion 5
Health and Trust
Health
You might have been able to get by with your level of health so far, but it might not be enough once a baby is with you. Don’t get me wrong, a baby will give you energy, joy and excitement that you can use, but your baby will also have demands beyond the so far experienced capacities. Your baby needs your time and energy. And if you are already just getting by with your level of health, then it is time to go on a health journey.
Trust
It is maybe the biggest topic of fatherhood. The importance of trusting yourself, or even more so trusting your instincts. I truly believe that your instincts are more important than any information in any book you read, any podcast you listen to, any doctor's advice, any study you read, any experts opinions. When it comes to your child, your instincts are a million times more valuable than the words I speak right now. I truly believe this, and I truly believe that deep down you know best for your child.
Lektion 6
Be An Inspiration And Final Thoughts
Inspire
So, the last topic around fatherhood is to inspire. I will attempt to explain why it is so important to be an inspiration to your child. Charles Kettering said “Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.”
So when I talk about inspiration, I definitely do not mean inspire him with what you say to him or her. Your words to your child are important, but they do not in any way inspire your child. It is your behavior that inspires your child. It is your actions that inspire your child.
Final Thoughts
Now we have arrived at the final part of this talk and as mentioned at the very beginning I never wanted to give warnings, and also not really specific tips. As already mentioned before, everyone's journey as a father is different and unique, and what might work for me, does not have to work for you. John Wilmot wrote "Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories."
