Hi,
And welcome to today's session.
I'm going to start with a short talk on addressing negative thoughts.
Then we're going to finish with a meditation where we put those skills into practice.
A negative thought can be any thought that you don't like.
Thoughts of aggression,
Violence,
Hatred,
Jealousy,
Craving,
Traumatic or sad or embarrassing memories from the past.
And we can even extend this to really any mental phenomena that we don't like.
Right off the bat,
I want to make it clear to you that you're allowed to have any thoughts that you like.
Now,
Obviously some thoughts aren't pleasant,
But sometimes those unpleasant thoughts need to be had.
And we can actually sort of cause ourselves a lot of emotional duress by judging ourselves for them.
You might have some negative feelings towards some people.
You might have feelings of lust towards some people.
You might have desires and cravings to own a new piece of tech or a new car or to change a situation.
All of those thoughts actually have value because they teach you something about what you want,
About what you need,
About what you're looking for.
And in a way,
Anytime there's emotional duress,
It's almost like a part of you is telling another part of you that you need to do something,
Potentially.
I sort of look at it like pain.
Physical pain is one part of your body telling another part of your body to be careful,
To watch out.
If you've rolled your ankle,
The pain that you feel from rolling the ankle is a constant reminder that you need to be careful when you walk because the ligaments and the tendons and the muscles and the bones or whatever's going on in your ankle aren't quite fully working.
Something's broken,
Something needs to be repaired,
Something's in the process of healing.
And if you didn't have that pain as a constant reminder,
You may step or run or do something that could damage it further,
And that might be catastrophic.
So to protect you,
Your brain sends you signals of pain.
Now,
Of course,
That pain feelings,
Those sensations that your brain is sending you,
Isn't pleasant and desirable,
But they're telling you something important.
So in a similar way,
If you're having negative thoughts of any description,
That might be one part of you telling another part of you that something isn't quite right.
Perhaps you need to make a change.
Perhaps you need to leave a certain situation or do something about a situation.
Maybe not.
Maybe it's just the typical negative thoughts that go through all of our minds.
Maybe it's a symptom of a mental health concern.
But maybe it's also a little bit of a warning to take action.
So right off the bat,
It's important to stop judging ourselves and criticizing ourselves and attempting to shut down all of the negative thoughts.
Not only is it unhelpful,
As we've just discussed,
But it's also impossible.
There's the saying that goes,
Anger's like a hot coal.
If you hold on to it with the intent to throw it at someone,
You're the one that's going to get burnt.
Or similarly,
The idea that you should forgive and forget.
Because if you hold on to something,
If you dwell on it,
If you try and take action against it,
It's actually just going to make it stronger.
This is a bit of a paradox.
How can we get rid of thoughts or how can we address them?
How can we alleviate the suffering of our mind without a force of will against it?
You can try countering negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
If you're feeling anxious,
You could repeat to yourself a mantra of,
I am happy,
Or love,
Or calm,
Or acceptance.
You could try visualizations like imagining a healing white energy radiating down from the heavens,
Or from God,
Or from whatever you believe.
You could try exercise.
You could try therapy.
All of these things are viable options,
And they do work for some people some of the time.
In fact,
Some of those options will work for every person some of the time.
But I find the best approach to addressing negative thoughts is to simply acknowledge and accept them.
To let them in.
To observe them fully.
To say to them,
What are you trying to show me?
I accept you.
I feel you.
When we turn and face our emotions in this way,
When we turn and face our negative thoughts in this way,
We sort of almost give them space to exist,
To play out.
And we notice that they tend to go in waves.
They tend to go in waves.
They tend to go in waves.
They tend to go in waves.
They start,
Then they peak,
Then they taper out,
And then they start again.
The next time you're feeling a wave of emotionality,
Anger,
Jealousy,
Addiction,
Whenever you have an intense thought,
Before you run from it,
Before you turn and hide from it,
Instead take a look at it and just watch it.
There's a part of you that's doing the watching,
And that part of you is not your thoughts.
That part of you is distinct from your thoughts,
And you know this because it is doing the watching.
It can't be both the watching and the thing that it is watching itself.
So by that very nature,
You know you are safe from those thoughts.
You can sit back,
Look at the anger,
Look at the jealousy,
Look at those painful memories.
Consider all of the thoughts that you're having and go,
Okay,
I'm watching you.
I see you.
I'm not you.
And what you might find is that the thoughts come,
They seem to appear out of nowhere,
And then they simply disappear back into that nowhere.
And if you don't give them a place to stand,
If you don't provide them with a ground,
They will disappear.
Let's give it a try now.
For the next minute,
We're going to just close our eyes and take a couple of deep breaths,
Focusing our attention on our breath,
Entering and leaving the nose.
And if a thought comes,
Rather than ignoring it or running from it,
We're simply going to turn our attention onto it.
Focus on that thought with as much clarity and intensity as you can muster.
What does it feel like?
What does it look like?
How big is it?
Where is it located?
What is it trying to tell you?
Keep your attention focused on it,
But do so without holding onto it or perpetuating it.
And if the thought goes,
Let it go and return your focus back to the breath at the nose.
Let's give this a try now.
Great work.
So you can use this concept of turning and facing negative emotions,
Thoughts,
Feelings or mental phenomena anytime.
Something pops up,
Internally turn and look at it,
And watch it come and watch it go.
Have a great day.
This talk was taken from the book Mindfulness,
A guidebook to the present moment.
