ACT Bites - Acceptance Part Two

Greetings and welcome back to ActBytes.

In the previous byte,

I talked a little bit about the power of acceptance.

And how it can make room for difficult emotions.

Memories and experiences.

And still allow us to choose to behave in accordance with our guiding values.

I used a metaphor of falling into a pit of quicksand as a way of illustration.

Act often uses metaphors.

As a tool because it allows the mind to quickly grasp onto an idea.

A picture is worth a thousand words after all.

Let's give you another metaphor to further illustrate the idea of acceptance.

The following metaphor.

Highlights the cost of experiential avoidance and unworkable attempts at control.

In addition.

The metaphor also introduces.

The possibility of alternative behaviors and the consequences of those.

Let's jump in.

Bye.

Is very similar to the process of building a house.

To build a house,

You need construction materials,

For example,

Bricks.

And you have plenty of these lying around you.

These bricks represent your experiences.

Now you've noticed that some of these bricks look nicer than others.

Some of them are clean bricks and they represent situations and sensations,

Memories and feelings that you have fondness for.

The good things in life,

For example.

Other bricks you notice lying around in the pile.

Are broken and dirty.

And just don't look sturdy enough.

These other bricks represent all the difficult experiences you've had or have been struggling with,

Such as negative thoughts,

Feelings,

And challenging memories.

So what would happen if you choose to build your house?

With only the nice new bricks and avoided using the dirty bricks completely.

A good question.

Wouldn't that affect the plan of the house that you are intending to build?

You have a plan for a large house and it requires all the resources you have.

But if you limit yourself only to the clean bricks.

Wouldn't they?

Affect the outcome of the house that you end up with.

Wouldn't the resulting house be smaller than what you intended?

And maybe look less interesting than a house with.

.

.

Copious amounts of space.

Rich structural texture and interest.

You might say that you're glad.

That you are living in a small house.

It is,

After all,

Easier to take care of.

However,

Every time you step outside.

Of your smaller house.

The nasty dirty bricks will still be there awaiting you.

There's simply no avoiding them.

You may even reach the point where you decide not to leave your house.

In order to avoid contact or interacting with the dirty bricks lying around outside.

On the other hand.

.

.

As a different choice.

What would happen?

If you choose to build your house.

With all of the bricks that you have at your disposal.

It will give you more room,

Certainly.

And what if this expanded space.

Is also a place where you can learn to live with both the nice and the nasty.

In your house.

In the service of having a bigger and more interesting life.

Picture that for a moment.

Think of the friends you can invite around.

The extra space will allow that.

Think of thee.

Talking points as you discuss the many interesting features of your personally designed home.

How different it is to feel.

That what you have is special.

Interesting.

.

.

And completely unique to you.

This metaphor illustrate what happens when you.

.

.

Avoid a situation or event because it might cause discomfort.

And as a result of that avoidance,

You're narrowing the options that you have available to you by avoiding a challenging situation,

For example,

Like public speaking.

You may gain some comfort in life.

The present moment.

And feel a bit more comfortable at that time.

But you also aren't getting the benefits that could have resulted from stepping into that public speaking situation.

Doing something new takes courage and willingness.

There's no doubt about that.

In your own life.

Take some time to reflect on the last time you did something new.

Attending the birthday party of your daughter's school friend,

For example.

Even though you didn't know the mother.

And now,

A year later after that attendance,

You count her as a new good friend.

That would not have happened if you decided to stay at home.

And not.

Experience that new event.

Just take a moment now and.

.

.

Allow yourself to recall times when Stepping out.

Resulted in the unexpected.

See you next time.