Mindful Metaphors - Avoidance

ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) often uses metaphors to help give clients a different perspective on a behavior that is troublesome, or unwanted. In this case, the focus is on avoidance. We tend to avoid unpleasant experiences in favor of the pleasant. However, life is a mix of both the pleasant and the unpleasant. Some would say that it is through life's challenges and difficulties that we grow as individuals and live more interesting lives.

Transcript

We all have times in our lives that we would most rather avoid or not engage in at all. It may be, For example, That we have spent a lot of time practicing a piece of music at home in our studies, And we know that we're able to play to perfection, Or at least at a very high level. But in practicing for this piece of music, We avoid actually performing it in public or practicing performing, So that when we get into the performance piece, We become anxious and afraid of making a mistake. So there's a high chance that we will fail. Especially if we have failed before, The memory of that previous experience stops us from continuing. By saying no to successive performance opportunities, We temporarily give ourselves relief from performance anxieties, But by continuing to say no, We eventually cut ourselves off from what we really want to do in our lives, And our lives become more narrow and confined due to the fear that we let control our lives. Living is very similar to building a house. To build a house, You need construction materials, Say bricks, And you have plenty of these lying around you. These are images of your experiences. In your life, You've noticed that some of these bricks look nicer than others. Some of them are clean and new bricks that represent pleasant sensations, Thoughts, Memories and feelings. Other bricks are broken or dirty, Or just don't look sturdy enough. These represent all of the difficult experiences you've been struggling with, Such as symptoms and negative thoughts and feelings. What would happen if you chose to build your house with only the nice new bricks? It would probably be very small and restrictive, Wouldn't it? And what if the nice new bricks were close to nasty bricks, Or even underneath a pile of them? Isn't it a case that you've been so busy trying not to touch the nasty bricks that you've missed those hidden bricks? Wouldn't that narrow your living space even more? You might say that you're glad to be living in a small house. However, Every time you step out of the house, The nasty bricks will still be there waiting for you, Getting in your way so you can't see or get more nice new bricks. You might eventually even reach the point where you don't leave the house anymore. That sounds like a very big trade-off, Doesn't it? So what would happen if you chose to build your house with all the bricks you have at your disposal, Both the nice new bricks and the dirty bricks and slightly cracked bricks? What if what we can do here is about building a house with all of the bricks available, So you can have a bit more room to live in? What if this is a space where you can learn how to live with both nice and nasty bricks in your house in the service of having a bigger life, One in which you'll have the choice to keep expanding? How does that sound?