Profound Healing Through Self-Love

This lesson explains what self-love is why it’s important to healing and expansion. It’s so important to have a foundation and be clear right at the beginning. Jamie will clear up that it isn’t an egoic sense of self-importance. It’s what is needed for your highest good. It’s your inner parent, your biggest fan and supporter. You’ll also learn what it isn’t and that love is innately inside of you. Through your time together, you’ll learn how to tap into that space of inner love and clear and heal what has innocently gotten in the way. Unless we heal our inner world, our outside world won’t change. It’s challenging but we can use our lives to see what part of our inner world wants to be brought to the light. Jamie will have you journal to get curious as to where healing is needed. In this lesson, you’ll begin to see nothing is broken in you, just misunderstood. There isn’t more to fix, just more to see, more to learn, more to know about how it all works! We’ll finish by setting an intention for our time together during the course.

This teaching is on self-compassion, self-worth, and self-acceptance. We’ll clear up each one and explain the difference and their importance in healing. This will give us a baseline for our time together. Self-compassion is kindness and understanding toward ourselves and our human imperfections. Self-acceptance is not saying what we did was wrong or right but meeting ourselves where we are, accepting it, and from there, knowing we can change. Self-worth is our inherent value simply because we exist. We’ll chat about collective misunderstandings that have been passed down, like an unworthiness wound that’s not our fault. We’ll take our power back to know these states reside in us and it’s our choice to live in these states and heal their opposites. I’ll teach you what other states of being you can rely on instead of self-criticism, blame, judgment, and the like. The only reason we have lived in the opposite states is that we made them more important and leaned into those neurons because we thought we had to. But we don’t have to anymore. I’ll help guide your way home.

In this lesson, we’re addressing the core wound of feeling “unlovable,” how it forms and how we can heal it. We’ll talk about our true nature being love and the only reason we believe we are unlovable is that we believe the untrue things others have said about us. We’ll do a healing exercise by asking ourselves or writing in our journals, “Where are examples in my life where I have been or already am what I want (lovable/worthy)?” Then, I’ll explain how our brain finds proof of what it believes. So we need to observe the old, illusory patterns and open our minds to new proof. We need to be willing to see ourselves differently. I’ll lead you through an EFT tapping healing meditation to start to clear this belief and instill a new belief that you are lovable, worthy and deserving of your own love as well as others’.

In this lesson, I explain the importance of moving toward our feelings instead of away from them to cultivate a sense of self-love. What is a feeling and what is a program? How do we know what to feel and what to heal? I’ll explain all the shame we’ve been taught in our world around emotions and help you find a safe space to feel again. I’ll teach you to say hello to your feelings. I mention the wisdom in Rumi’s quote about “visitors in your house" and share my own story of always wanting to fix myself and that my healing never lived there. My solution was in allowing, thawing out, loving, and lovingly following my heart. My life began to heal and open up from there. I’ll guide you to somatically feel your way through your feelings to welcome in a state of non-resistance to allow your pain to thaw out and for the sun to shine through.

Healing old wounds around self-love, worth, acceptance, and the like require radical awareness. The ability to catch ourselves and not let ourselves go down old, familiar, comfortable (r)habit holes. It requires us to stop what we are doing, walk away, journal, ask ourselves what the heck is up, and choose differently. We have choice in there. I’ll explain who we actually are. The awareness of our thinking. The more we can see we are the loving co-creator, from that space and not from the space that we are a victim of our thinking, we can allow our experience, over time with lots of patience to change in a new, healthy direction. We have to allow ourselves to not time this because neurons in the brain take time to heal and shift. The more we don’t let it take us over, but we put our foot down and with love and say, “No, I deserve better even if my brain tells me I don’t then our lives can change. The healing power of awareness of our old pain is a massive ingredient in profound healing.

What is unconditional love and how can this help us heal? Healing comes from within us. Not outside of us. Who we are is unconditional but we are taught conditions. In this lesson, we’ll look at the conditions we are taught in order to receive love and the like. Where have you placed acceptance, love, worthiness and acceptance of yourself, outside of yourself? Where have you innocently given your power away? We’ll journal about this and reflect. From there, you can begin to simply watch your mind in action wanting something outside of yourself and silently offering a, “Thank you, but no thank you.” Then, wait out the storm and choose again. What we seek has been within us all along. I will teach you where to look and how to access these deeper states of love, worthiness, “enoughness” and joy internally first so the external follows suit. We’ll do a meditation on this as well, expanding your “havingness level” of love from within.

What is co-dependency and how does understanding this help us love ourselves back to health? It’s excessive emotional reliance on people. We innocently place our sense of self outside of ourselves, rely solely on the people outside of us to meet our needs, make us happy and give us love. We learned this when we weren’t taught we were unconditionally ok as we are and safe to be independent and autonomous, so we assumed we had to get our sense of self outside of us. Those who struggle with self-love aren’t taught they are inherently lovable as they are. They are taught they need to do something to be lovable. I’m going to clear up these myths and help you become more aware of what is playing out in your brain to bring love, understanding and healing to these old patterns. I’ll share written exercises such as, What do I need? What do I like? What am I craving most from others and how could I begin to start to give that to myself? We can’t control “out there” or them, only inside of our own being. So I’ll help you surrender the need to find what you are craving out there and start to look “in here” for the self-love you crave.

What is your Soul Essence? Knowing what your unique essence is helps you see that you are a unique, loving, purposeful presence on this earth. I’m going to take you through a soul essence exercise so you can begin to see how uniquely valuable underneath your humanity you are. You’ll ask 10 people in your life what shows up when you walk into a room. After you have your answers, you’ll look at the lines and themes of words that stand out. Even when you don’t open your mouth, even when you are sick, broke or outside conditions are fluctuating, what within you still shines though? That is the real you. I’ll explain that when we place our worth in unstable human conditions it causes us pain as opposed to the stability of spirit and soul. With the soul essence exercise, you’ll have a grounded sense of the unconditional self that you are and a loving place to rest.

There are many reasons we hold onto shame, so I’m going to share defense mechanisms we use shame for and how we can let them go. For example, shame is a false sense of control over others. If it’s “my” fault then I have control if you don’t like me. I’ll have you find out what you are innocently using shame to try to control and give you a safe space to feel it and heal it. Ex. I’m thinking I’m shameful to protect me from what? Standing out, making mistakes, being judged? Then as we learned in the "Feel it to Heal it" lesson, can you take a moment to feel what is underneath there to let the energy move? In this lesson, we’ll also talk about the opposite of shame which is innocence, grace, gratitude, understanding, love and why knowing this is so helpful in healing. We’ll address that as a child all this trauma was too much for a little one to handle. But I’ll explain that we are adults now and can handle that emotion. The worst thing we feel is terrible emotional upset and we have the tools to handle that, the friends, the therapist, the meditations, the courses. Would we rather live small and miserable but safe? Or big and loved from within and safe in our emotional experience?

Surprisingly, our thinking that we are unlovable, unworthy, and the like isn’t the problem. I’ll explain the nature of thought. It’s energy, movable and transient. Even if you might feel like it, you aren’t stuck like this. Thinking is impersonal. It’s not who we are. So it’s not these terrible thoughts that are the problem when they show up out of habit. It’s your agreement with them that causes pain. The value you place, the meaning or the belief in it. Just know you can choose differently for yourself. You don’t have to agree with your thinking. You can witness it, feel it if needed, or watch it and let it pass. And then tune into your common sense wisdom. Do I need to do something to help me heal how I’m feeling or let it pass and then follow the deeper guidance that arises under the moving thinking that will always settle and point me back home to myself? You have choice. You get curious. I wonder if all these unloving thoughts aren’t who I am? I wonder who I really am and if I could feel differently than I do now? Curiosity and open-mindedness open the door for new energy, new internal experiences, new thoughts to come through and help you heal. You can even ask for a new reference point in your mind and in your life that is the opposite of these unloving thoughts. You get curious and think, I wonder how out I could see myself, others and my life? You needn’t fill in an answer. The answer will find you as you inquire.

In this lesson, you’ll learn the importance of reparenting yourself. What it means to be in your sovereign self where no one has power over you. Living from interdependence. Living from choice, expanded, a new level of consciousness where it’s safe to love, feel compassion, and accept yourself. A new way of being. In this space, your very self-loving presence is a permission giver to others to do the same. I’ll lead you through an inner child healing meditation and end with a healing prayer to offer you courage on your continued journey toward the kind of self-love that is profoundly transformational and healing.