Inviting Cooperation During Conflict

In this lesson, we discuss the Nature (and natural-ness) of conflict, and how it shows up naturally in the human experience. I’ll describe the 3-part structure of this course, introducing the sections of reality checking, communicating, and integrating, that we’ll touch on in the next lessons. We’ll also talk about the different possible responses to interpersonal conflict - destructive, avoiding, and constructive - and why constructive is our most favorable option.

This lesson is the first on “reality checking,” which, in this course means, putting (your own, and others’) values/expectations into perspective. I also go over the Concept of Inner and Outer realities, and Seeing Reality as it truly is (preferred) Vs Forcing your reality onto the world (stress-making).

In this lesson, I’ll share my suggestions for today's practice, which are: paying attention to your emotional responses, and trusting that what comes up is worth noting. After an introductory section, students will have some quiet reflection time to ponder on questions, such as, “What’s most important to me here?” and “What am I looking for in this situation that I’m not getting?”

In this lesson, I’ll describe the purpose of connecting to our true values. We practice this to strengthen our own positions in a healthy way, rather than defensively sheltering our own positions. We’ll also talk about connecting to the humanity of our personal needs and UN-forcing our value agenda - letting go of stubborn former patterns of getting our needs met.

This lesson starts off the section on “communicating”. In this lesson, we’ll go over the meaning of inviting within the context of this course. We’ll see why it’s important to step into your “antagonists” world, and invite them into your own. With this insight we will be able to see how and why this practice resolves inner conflict as well as outer conflict.

In this lesson, we’ll be getting practical with examples and phrases of what “inviting cooperation” looks/sounds like from person to person. Students will have time to practice for themselves, using a script writing exercise. This is arguably the most important part of the course so far, in terms of potential for personal action. Don’t forget to go out and practice inviting!

This is the first lesson of the third and final section, called, “Integrating”. In this lesson, we go over the meaning of “Expanded Territory” or Integrating, in this course. This lesson will illuminate the reasons integration is important, as well as the result - increased satisfaction in relationships and freedom within one’s self.

This lesson is all about using the previous practices of reality checking and communicating to manifest Creative problem solving principles. We re-incorporate “letting go” from Day 4, to make room for new ideas and solutions, and dive deep into finding mutually satisfying solutions to interpersonal conflicts. Students will have a chance to ask themselves what they would do in the three given conflict situations.

Today’s lesson is a fun one! Students will get to listen to three audio dramatizations that were written using real life examples of conflicts between parties, to have a sense of what our inviting cooperation process and resolution can sound like. I’ll have some voice acting guests with me to act out scenarios and solutions to the previous day’s scenarios that came about as a result of my own creative problem solving ideas.

In this final lesson, we review what we learned, tying together the steps of inviting cooperation from top to bottom. Included will be tips and things to remember while practicing, as well as a big congratulations, and of course, positive affirmations and blessings. There’s still much more to be said - go make your own discoveries, and see what you can bring to the table in Resolution!