Decision Making: The Influence Of Personal Beliefs

As people, psychological stress builds for us as we try to pass through a number of conflicting thoughts and opinions that we carry, regarding some of the "nagging" aspects of our lifes. As we realize that we have a decision to make, rather than more information to collect and consider, we are able to see clearly the beliefs and opinions that we want to move forward with, and the ones we wish to challenge or leave behind. You can use this talk to help you contemplate on how these decision points show up in your life. Roswell would like to get your feedback for starting a new project. Please let him know what self-development resources you'd like to see in the reviews/comments for this talk.

Transcript

It's not the events of our lives that shape us,

But our beliefs as to what those events mean.

That's a quote by Tony Robbins.

Our beliefs are so,

So influential and important in both the grand scheme of our lives and our day-to-day affairs.

I've been thinking a lot about my own beliefs recently.

I've thought about whether my beliefs about the world are shared by others around me.

I've wondered if they're accurate to what's really going on in whatever situation I'm in.

My career,

Relationships,

Self-understanding,

Etc.

I've wondered if there's even any real way for me to know it's truly true in life,

And the jury is still out for me on that one.

More recently,

I started to think about whether the beliefs I hold are helping me through my day or in some ways holding me back.

When we practice meditation techniques such as mindfulness,

We are better able to get some distance from our thoughts and look at our beliefs more objectively,

To examine them on all sides and more importantly,

I'd argue,

To examine the effects that they have on the quality of our life experience when we get sucked in by them.

When we are grounded in peaceful presence,

In our central self,

We no longer get pulled along into whatever story our thoughts are creating about the situation at hand.

This is one of the reasons that practicing meditation can help tremendously with anxiety,

Raising thoughts,

And stress.

We detach ourselves from the runaway minecart of our own inner dialogue force spell,

And are able to feel grounded and secure in ourselves,

In our own life energy.

When I'm struggling with nerves or anxiety,

I found it's usually due to a damning set of beliefs that I'm holding on to about myself or about what will happen in the future.

When I'm stressed out over making a decision,

It's usually due to a conflict between opposing sets of beliefs that I hold.

This sort of internal conflict is also known as cognitive dissonance,

And it's a form of psychological stress.

Often by challenging or questioning myself on the beliefs that are causing fear and trepidation,

The anxiety resolves.

I go through this process in depth in my meditation on relief from anxiety here on Insight Timer,

And it's really my go-to for managing flare-ups of anxiety.

And as for the dissonance,

By making a decision,

Despite the fear and uncertainty,

That's usually how I feel myself centered once again.

When you're deliberating on whether or not to pursue some goal that you have,

Or a dream that you want to realize,

You might experience some psychological stress related to making that decision.

Cognitive dissonance builds as you parse through all the pros and cons and find that there's not really one clear answer as to what you should do.

This stress,

Although understandable and although uncomfortable,

Is at least a sign to you that something inside of you is telling you to go for it.

You believe that you can achieve your goal,

At least on some level you believe it's possible.

Maybe because you've seen or heard of someone else who achieved something similar.

While another part of you,

And you know this all too well,

Can list all the reasons why you shouldn't bother,

Why you can't,

Why you won't succeed,

Even though others have.

From what I can see,

This realization of the conflicting sides gives you an advantage.

Now you can see that there is a choice to make,

Rather than more factors to consider.

Because you've got plenty to consider.

That's what makes the decision so hard to make.

But to illustrate what I mean about making a choice,

Let's think about the two opposing beliefs that you carry as real life people groups with opposite opinions.

Each side is desperately trying to convince you that they are right,

And that you should come and join their camp,

And not the other camp.

You're holding onto this rope that ties you to Camp A on the left side and Camp B on the right.

And from the middle ground position,

The two sides pull you left and right,

This way and that in some weird game of tug of war.

This happens all the time in real life,

Huh?

In seriousness,

The illustration continues.

One camp of people is telling you all the reasons why you can't,

You shouldn't,

You mustn't put time or energy into that goal.

It's risky,

It's unprecedented.

You might fail,

And other folks can do a way better job anyway,

So just stay home.

The other camp of people is saying,

Yes,

You can do this.

You've got a handful of useful talents,

Unique experiences to share with others,

And even though it may be difficult,

You're worth it.

You deserve the world,

And it's worth a try.

So which camp would you rather join,

And which group of people would you rather hang out with?

And there's really no shame with agreeing a little bit with one camp on some things,

But still choosing to go and be a part of the other camp.

Maybe agreeing that,

Yes,

Other people might be better than me at this thing,

And yes,

It might be risky and it is unprecedented and out of my comfort zone.

And there's no harm in agreeing with that,

But still going to join the camp that's saying,

It's worth a shot.

You know,

You've got what it takes,

You've got something to work with.

It's worth a shot.

Regardless of the specific details that you might agree with,

Making that choice,

Making that movement to one camp or the other,

And sticking with it is what's most important for resolving the inner stress.

When it comes down to it,

Your beliefs are everything,

And I believe they are truly yours to cultivate and curate in your life.

And on that topic of reaching your goals someday,

Some thoughts that you have,

And some people will say that you can't.

Some will say that you ultimately can.

So,

Which ones are you going to believe?

And which ones are you going to challenge?

As usual,

Thank you for listening.

So honestly,

I've been itching to start a new project to build off of the content that I make on Insight Timer and make some new resources for y'all.

So I'd like to know what you listening would be interested in.

Some ideas I've been batting around are podcasting,

Ebooks,

And or infographics.

And all of these would be meditation-oriented,

Personal growth-oriented,

And like self-development tools.

So if you're interested in any of those that I've mentioned,

Please let me know.

So in your review or comment for this talk,

Please let me know what sort of resources that you'd want to see.

I'd really appreciate the feedback.

Thank you so much,

And have an amazing day.

Reviews

Just what i needed to hear for an event i have in mind. It involves other people so i need the confidence to prepare & just go for it. Must remember to keep it small & beautiful 🙏🏼👏🏽🤞

Podcasting and infographics! Thanks for the great talk. Helped me parse out some feelings.

Great point! Woul love to hear more talks of this type- short, offering new perspectives, ideas easy to implement.
Thank you!!!

So amazing! Love the analogy so resonates!! And so helpful.

This talk was very helpful! I loved the brilliant mindful imagery of dividing our challenges into two camps of people with opposing beliefs! Thank you 💗💕💗💕💗🌟🌟🌟💗

Some thing that keeps coming up is what is the price of hesitation or indecision. Because even not making a decision is a decision. And I know indecision is rooted in belief. Once you find that belief, how can you befriend it and re-shape. Intellectually everyone knows the answers. Especially if they’ve been on this path for a long time. Why is it so hard sometimes?

Of the three, I would favor podcasting and/or an e-book. Best wishes to you

I love the honest, easy to understand way you present this material. I would suggest you could add some mindful meditation to your talk. That way we can observe ourselves and then work to make those important choices. I like your ideas of info graphics, blogs etc to cover different learning styles. The freedom to make choices, rather than staying stuck, is a very empowering & healing tool. Thank you 😊

I liked the clear delivery style of this talk. Very helpful!

✨💕 You’re consistently thought provoking. Your ideas flow with energy & purpose. I greatly enjoy your refreshingly succinct style & insightful ‘voice’! It’s like listening to wonderful wise friend.
Thank you! 🙏🏼 ✨

Another way of looking at conflict going on in my head which I think could be really helpful for me. Thinking of conflict as two groups of people - one supportive, one out to get you. The latter I’ve dealt with far more in my life but am at a point in my where I am now strong enough to turn away from. Thank you, Roswell.
That was really helpful 🙏🏼

Infographs would be great. I am a visual learner. 👀 Thank you for sharing your gift.💫👏🏽

So glad I found this talk! In response to your feedback request, in case you are still looking for some, a podcast would be great, but I’m also curious to see an infographic!

I think creating a podcast is a great idea, I'd definitely listen to it.

Great, deep and to the point as always & I would love the podcast option. Thankssssd

Thank you
I would prefer Podcast.

This was exactly what I needed to hear today and has helped me in making a big decision. Thank you.

Thanks for this talk, it was very helpful. I’d love to hear you in a podcast about similar topics. Thanks!

Podcast would be great!

Thank you for this talk. It helps remind me that i will feel better once i make a difficult decision. Making the decision will calm my brain.
And yes i would love to hear that you are doing podcasts. You have a very calming voice and very informative. Thank you