The tree that wanted to be a beautiful book.
It would die if that's what it took.
That's a quote by singer-songwriter Butterfly Boucher.
I heard it and thought,
Wow.
That's a part of transformation that we forget all the time.
It's also what makes transformation so hard.
The idea that in order to get where you're going,
Where you want to be,
In order to reach the heights that you desperately want to reach,
You actually have to go through the process of changing the person you are now.
The person you are now,
The person you know,
Has to disappear or be let go of in some way,
And you know,
It feels like you're dying.
Because you really are in a lot of ways.
You have to stop being the person you are in order to make room for the person that you want to be.
The person you,
On a deep level,
Feel you should be.
And in all aspects,
It's a better version of your current self.
It's like an improvement on the existing you.
As long as you're transforming in line with your highest values and aspirations,
Then you're actually becoming more of yourself.
You're becoming more like who you really are,
In a pure sense.
The you that is more free,
More authentic,
More stable,
More awake.
The you that's less insecure,
Less guarded,
Less stuck.
But you know,
We get attached to the ways that we are now.
We lose ourselves in the monotonous rhythms of life,
And we have to let go of that to move forward,
And it's tough.
After all,
We identify with that person so much.
The habits and all the things that are covering us and sort of protecting us from facing the scary parts of life and the vulnerable parts of ourselves.
So when it comes time for that person to be removed,
And all that stuff to be taken away,
It's tough.
But it's a reminder for myself and for anyone else who wants it that the part about transformation that often holds us back is that fear of dying,
Of losing hold on who we are,
Who we think we are in the moment.
But what if we could get past that?
If we could stay strong enough to face the reality of our situation,
And our eagerness to change and see them as tools for transformation?
Each of us could ask ourselves,
How can I personally make an impact on what's at hand?
All the while holding compassionate space for ourselves to mourn who we were and let that person go.
How far could each of us go,
Even just today?
We could bypass the fear,
Come out on the other side and realize that while we were afraid to fall,
We let go,
And we fell.
And it hurt.
But we survived the fall.
Got up,
Looked around and saw that the place we landed was so much better than that familiar ledge we were trying to cling onto.
So may we each move forward,
Staying present with ourselves through the scary and sad emotions and through the setbacks,
And letting ourselves trust that we're bringing ourselves to greater personal freedom and mobility.
