ACT Therapy - Beautiful, Simple & Practical

There is always a story going on in our mind, an interpretation, a judgment, a narrative. And so often, we listen to this narrative as if it is actual fact and truth. When we believe and identify with this narrative, we get completely entangled in it - this is called fusion. Learning to separate from these thoughts, to know that they are not necessarily truth and we don't have to listen to them, is called de-fusion. Here, you will learn a few really practical techniques to help do this.

Floating on quicksand is not easy when everything in you wants to struggle to get out. Learning to float is the acceptance in ACT therapy. Acceptance is not always easy. Thoughts of a negative or anxious nature can amplify and multiply and can lead to an even bigger struggle! This week, we really examine the internal effects of thoughts, we look at them carefully to see exactly what they are because by doing this, we can separate ourselves from identifying with those thoughts.

Today, we look at the mental control paradox – the inability to control the thoughts in our head, and how that lack of control switches on our fight/flight response, creating anxiety. Anxious or negative thinking is either in the future or the past. When we learn to live in this present moment, the unhelpful thoughts soon lessen and often disappear.

We are not our thoughts. So often we get caught up in them, so identified and entangled with them, it is hard to separate who we are from them, and so the thoughts become fact. Our truth. But the good news is, we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts are just like clouds in the sky, they come, they make a particular kind of shape and color, then they change, they are something different now, and then they’ve gone! Just like our thoughts. Becoming aware of our thoughts – watching them as if you are an outsider, allows you to recognize the truth here. How can I watch my thoughts if I am my thoughts? The one that observes those thoughts? That is your Observing Self. This can be an absolute game-changer when it comes to obsessive thoughts or an overactive mind!

If I told you we were heading east, then no matter how far we travel, we will always be traveling east. We could plan short stops on the way, excursions, tourist attractions, but we will still always be heading east. Our values are similar to this. They are the direction we travel in life. You don’t particularly need to know the destination, but you know which way you want to head. Values are based on what is important to us, not to anyone else, but what is intrinsically important to you! When you know this, you can plan your journey, your life, with this direction always being your foundation.

If you wanted to go east, but then sat staring at a compass, it would be pretty pointless! Going east needs action! You need to plan your journey, pack, sort out travel arrangements, sort out pet sitting, change your money, get the jabs, etc., etc. - All of these require action. Often, when we get caught up in our thoughts, our behaviors really don’t follow our values, they get neglected or abandoned, which can make us feel even worse. This session is a self-examination – looking at the things around our issues that could be worsening the situation, being honest with ourselves about what works and what doesn’t, and making a choice to do what needs doing.

Relationships – I mean partners, siblings, parents, children, friends, work colleagues, extended family. Are all your relationships perfect? Do you have issues? Even minor ones? How do we deal with these issues? Get angry or upset? Scream, shout, sulk? Do we express ourselves or stuff our feelings? Do we blame them or blame ourselves? Today, we look at some exercises we could do to help us with our thoughts around our relationships and also some techniques to help us deal with our feelings in a more constructive and helpful way.

The sun is 400 times bigger than the moon. How is it possible then for something as small as the moon to be able to eclipse the sun? Simple answer: distance. When something is up close to you, it can block out and eclipse anything else in your vicinity. Today, we look at how our thoughts, feelings, and emotions can eclipse other good things in our life.

If you worry that you are a negative person, then join the club, we all are. It is actually human nature. We are programmed to specifically look for the negative because these are the things that could cause us pain or harm and so our brain is on the lookout for these things so that it can avoid them, and therefore keep you safe. This is called Negativity Bias. Today, we look at this, at how actually normal our negative thinking is, and how positive thinking is a deliberate act of choosing.

Over the past nine days, you may have learned some new techniques, new ideas, and at the time, think ‘This is great.’ But how do you put this into practice, in our everyday daily lives? How can we absorb all this information and then integrate it, practically into our life? In this final session, we look at suggestions to practically incorporate the teachings as simply as possible.