Hello and welcome to five minutes in nature with me Liz Scott.
I've just marched up a hill onto Dartmoor,
Sheltering behind a gorse bush and looking out down towards the ocean.
There's probably about 10 miles of arable landscape fields,
Trees and woodland.
I'm out of breath,
Sorry about this,
As I look down towards the ocean.
I can't see the ocean today because it's very low grey cloud and the forecast today is rain and I've been sitting at my computer working,
Looking out thinking it's still not raining,
Still not raining and then I thought right I'm just going to go out for my walk now and I got out of the door,
Started striding off up the hill and it started to rain and a rush of irritation came into my mind.
I'm not wearing the right outfit,
I'm not wearing my waterproofs and it's not fair.
I've been sitting in my office and it's been dry and as soon as I go out it starts raining and all these sort of negative little jumpy thoughts came into my mind and then I quite literally laughed because the very thing I want to talk to you about today is related to this and it's a quote by someone called Byron Katie.
I really admire her work and the quote is this,
When we argue with reality we lose but only a hundred percent of the time.
When we argue with reality we lose but only a hundred percent of the time and it just made me laugh because here I was arguing with the reality of the rain and the only thing that was causing my suffering was that I thought life should be a different way than it actually was.
When I argue with reality I lose.
It's actually stopped raining now which is wonderful but I can see the grey clouds above me and know that more rain is forecast so it might come in again as I'm talking to you and in life it feels as though this is such an important thing to remember that when we argue with the way things are we suffer.
That's another way of saying the same thing.
I know a family and they have experienced a lot in the last few years.
A member of their family has a serious illness and is finding it hard to live an independent life and the whole family has experienced shock waves from having a member of their family living in this kind of way and they've all responded differently.
They're all adults so the children are all adults and they all in their own way are arguing with reality wishing life were different,
Wishing it wasn't the way that it is and sometimes I think it's easier when you are on the outsides of a situation to see it but what I saw with the family is that they are all individually suffering because they are arguing with reality,
They are fighting the way life is.
Now it doesn't mean when we experience something that is dreadful or traumatic or upsetting,
It doesn't mean that we don't fully experience the feelings that we feel.
The real suffering it seems to me comes when we entrench and have a long fight with the way things are.
That's when we prolong suffering,
That's when we never win because as Byron Katie says when we argue with reality we lose but only a hundred percent of the time.
I remember as a child I got severe asthma and sometimes I was in my bed with severe asthma and the difference with me as a child is that I didn't know any different and I didn't argue with reality and although I physically found it hard to breathe I didn't suffer with my asthma because I didn't know any difference and so when I don't argue with the way things are I experience life as it is and for me there is real peace in experiencing life as it is.
That doesn't mean I roll over and become a doormat and allow people to walk all over me,
On the contrary when I experience life as it is and I accept it,
Step into it,
Realize that this is the way it is then I live a full life,
Then I am able to flourish regardless of the circumstances around me and I would love to know what this quote means for you.
I'll repeat it one more time and do let me know it's always good to hear from you.
When we argue with reality we lose but only a hundred percent of the time.
What does that mean for you?
Please do let me know and don't forget I'll be back tomorrow with another five minutes in nature.
