How To Mindfully Face Stress And Anxiety

Anyway,

Thank you everybody who's joined me.

And in this session,

We're going to be looking at.

.

.

How we can deal with worries and stress and anxiety and hopefully i'll give you the tools that are going to help you to deal with these things especially now that we're going through some really challenging times or we have been for the last one and a half years So one of the key things or some of the key things that we need to have to help ourselves through stress and anxiety and challenging times is.

Positivity and gratitude.

Also,

Something that we can learn from the challenging times,

Not just get ourselves all wrapped up in it,

But learn something from it and also have hope and inspiration for the future.

So we're going to start off with a practice that's called the rose,

The thorn and the bud.

The rose is something that you're grateful for,

Something positive that happened to you recently.

The thorn,

The prickly thorn,

Is something challenging that happened to you.

But then we're going to look at not just stay with the challenging thing,

But what can we learn from that challenging thing?

And then the last one is the bud,

Something that hasn't opened up yet.

So something we're looking forward to in the future.

So something maybe later on today or tomorrow or next month,

Something that's going to give you a little hope.

For the future,

Little motivation,

Inspiration for the future.

So because you're all on different time zones,

I would usually say that we're in India now.

So it's evening time.

Look back over today.

If it's your morning time,

Then look back over yesterday.

So I want you to sit nice and comfortable in your chair and lightly close your eyes so you can really focus on this exercise.

I will start off with the rows.

So look back.

Either today or yesterday.

And find one thing that you were grateful for.

Bring that into the front of your mind.

And just sit there a moment and think about this one thing that you're grateful for.

And as you're thinking about this one thing,

I want you to check in with your feelings.

How is it making you feel?

And again,

Look back over today or yesterday.

And find one challenging thing,

One thing that was a little difficult for you.

Bring that into your mind.

And as you're thinking about this challenging thing,

I want you to look at what lessons you can learn.

Because if we can learn lessons from this challenging thing,

We can turn it from a negative.

Into a positive So what can you learn from this challenging situation?

Just think about that for a moment.

Now let's look at the butt.

So this is something that we're looking forward to.

So sometime in the near future,

Something is going to happen that we're looking forward to.

So bring that into the front of your mind.

And just think about that for a moment.

Something that's going to give you a little hope for the future.

Little inspiration And again,

As you're thinking about this,

Check in with your feelings.

How's it making you feel when you think about this thing you're looking forward to?

Okay,

So just very slowly start to open your eyes.

So this is a great practice to do.

Whenever,

You know,

You're having one of those bad days,

You're feeling worried or stressed or anxious.

You know,

We have these bad days and we think,

Oh,

Everything is going wrong.

But actually,

When we look at the rose,

The thorn and the bud,

Not everything is going wrong.

There was some positive things,

Some things that I was grateful for.

Yeah,

There were some challenges there.

But,

You know,

I learned some lessons from that.

And there was something I'm looking forward to,

To give me hope.

This is such a great practice to do when we're going through challenging times and becoming stressed and anxious.

So people tend to get mixed up between worrying.

Stress and anxiety.

So worrying is about thoughts.

It's about us overthinking,

Overanalyzing something and getting ourselves all worried about that.

So it's more psychological.

Whereas stress.

.

.

Is more about the physical it's more about going into the threat mode going into the fight or flight mode so it's more physical anxiety is the intersection between those two.

So worrying is psychological and stress is physiological.

And anxiety is both.

Psychological and physiological.

So.

When we have little bits of stress and little moments of anxiety,

It is not a problem for us.

Sometimes we need that extra push.

Maybe we've got a social event to go to and,

You know,

We're a little bit nervous.

We don't know what is going to happen there.

I've never met these people before,

So I'm getting a little nervous.

So that's when,

You know,

Anxiety and stress coming.

Exam coming up So when we have these moments of anxiety and these moments of stress and we know what they're for and they're short lived,

Then there is nothing wrong with that.

That is all part and parcel of being a human being.

It's when that anxiety,

That stress lasts for a longer period of time.

And sometimes we are unaware of why they're here.

This is when it becomes a problem for us.

So during this session,

I want to give you some tools to help you get through these times of anxiety and stress.

What happens is we get a thought come into our head.

And instead of,

You know,

Being consciously thinking about this thought and being able to deal with it and let it go,

We get all attached to it.

So at the moment,

We have a thought that comes into head.

I'm going to get the virus.

Now,

If we're consciously thinking,

If we're being present in the moment,

We can catch that thought and we can say to that thought that,

Well,

You know,

I'm taking precautions.

I don't have the virus at the moment.

I'm taking precautions.

I'm taking the vaccine.

I'm wearing masks.

I'm washing my hands.

I'm social distancing.

I'm not mixing with lots of people I don't know.

So you can let that thought go.

But what usually happens is that thought comes into our head.

We hold on to that thought.

Then we take that thought another step and we start building stories around it.

I'm gonna get the virus.

Oh,

I'm gonna be seriously ill.

I'll end up in hospital.

Oh,

I might lose my job.

Will I give it to my whole family?

We build this whole story around it.

So we start by worrying and then we build this story around it and we start to become stressed and we go into that fight or flight mode.

And because we're building this story,

The mind starts to believe it.

When we're building a story,

The mind doesn't know the difference between what is fact and what is fantasy if you've built that story the mind is going to start believe it when that happens we become anxious It's at that point when we realize that,

OK,

I've built this story.

I've allowed my imagination to run wild.

It's at that point you are not suffering from life.

You are not suffering from what is happening at this moment.

You are suffering from your imagination,

Allowing your imagination to take you off into the what ifs and this may happen or this may not happen.

So when we're in this land of the what-ifs and in the land of imagination and fantasy,

We can't do anything about it.

We can't deal with it because it's just a story.

It's just a fantasy and imagination.

And the same goes for when we go back to the past and we start reliving.

Why did they say that to me?

Why did they do that to me?

And we just go on and on and on,

Telling ourselves stories,

Getting ourselves stressed and anxious.

We can't deal with that.

We can't change the past.

We can only learn from it and move forward.

And we can't mold the future.

Only plan and hope for the best,

But when we've allowed our imagination to run wild like that,

It means that we can't control that.

The only time that we can really control what is going on,

Really help ourselves is in the present moment right now.

So when we find out,

When we realize that,

Oh,

I built this whole story,

This whole imagination,

And now I'm becoming.

.

.

You know,

Stressed and anxious.

It's at that time we need to be coming back to the present moment.

When we're looking back and we're worrying about things that have happened,

We need to bring ourselves back into the present moment.

And this is where mindfulness helps us,

Because mindfulness is our anchor,

Our anchor into the present moment.

So if you just imagine a ship,

On the ocean and it has its anchor But then these big waves come along and they take the ship away.

But because the ship has an anchor,

It's gently brought back.

So the same for us.

If you imagine that that ship is your mind and the waves are your imagination and your storytelling and it's taking your mind away.

But if you do mindfulness practices,

They are your anchor to bring your shit back,

To bring your mind back into the present moment.

So I'm going to talk about now and teach you three different mindfulness anchors.

That are going to help bring yourself back whenever you get stressed and anxious and overwhelmed.

So we're going to look at the breath.

We're going to look at a body practice and our senses.

So why do we use all these three?

Reuse all these three because they are always based in the present moment.

When you're focusing on your breath,

You can only focus on the breath in the present moment.

We can only breathe now.

I can't breathe for the future and I can't breathe for the past.

I can only breathe.

In the present moment.

So by focusing on the breath,

I'm brought back to the present moment.

Our bodies,

Our bodies are always in the present moment.

We know our minds go off all over the place,

But our body is always here.

So when we bring ourselves back to the body,

We're bringing ourselves back into the present moment.

And when we focus on any of our five senses,

Again,

We are brought back into the present moment because we can only see,

Smell,

Taste,

Hear and touch whatever is happening in this present moment.

So these three,

Your breath,

Your body and your senses,

Are your anchors to bring yourself back whenever your mind goes shooting off to the future and getting anxious or going back to the past and getting worried and stressed.

These anchors are always here for you to bring you back.

So mindfulness probably is the wrong word.

It gives us a wrong impression,

Really,

Because mind,

Mindfulness.

And we think,

Oh,

It's all about what's happening here upstairs.

But mindfulness,

A better word really,

Is awareness.

You know,

If we could go back and change it,

We would probably use awareness.

Because when you use these anchors to bring yourself back into the present moment,

You become aware.

You become aware of your thought process.

You become aware of whatever emotion you're feeling at the moment.

You become aware of your body and what your body is telling you,

Any stress or any tension or what your gut or your heart is telling you.

Remember that,

You know,

Not everything goes on up here.

We also have neurons in our gut and in our heart.

They're not conscious.

They're not making conscious decisions.

They sense things you know gut feeling so these can sometimes sense things Quicker than we can,

Our mind can logically think about it and think,

What should we do?

These,

Our hearts and our gutters already decided that this is the best thing to do.

So when we bring ourselves back into the present moment,

We have this awareness of what our body is trying to tell us.

And we also have the awareness of whatever is going on in our immediate environment.

Armed with all that awareness,

It means that we can make good conscious decisions.

When we go back to the past and off to the future,

We're not being able to make conscious,

Logical,

Realistic decisions.

We're not being able to make good choices.

When we come back into the present moment,

We're able to have all this awareness which helps us to make good,

Logical,

Conscious decisions.

The story I said at the beginning,

I'm going to get the virus and we went right off into the future and we're going to end up dying.

And when we realize that and come back into the present moment and we look at the thought process,

We can see,

Oh,

This was just a story.

I am taking precautions.

That was just the story.

My emotion,

Oh,

It's made me feel,

You know,

Really nervous and tense and anxious and fearful.

And my body is starting to become tense.

And in the immediate environment,

Well,

Actually,

Nothing like that is going on.

So we have this awareness.

And when we have that awareness,

We make good choices.

So let's look at their first practice to bring ourselves back.

Into the present moment so the breathing awareness practice i want to do with you now is called rhythmic breathing i love this practice there are many many many mindfulness practices and we can do a whole session on just mindful breathing But this one is one of my favorites.

Why because it works it certainly works for me So a little bit about a little story here to tell you why I think it's a good one.

When I was young,

I was extremely nervous.

I was extremely shy.

And I know people who know me now think I can't believe that.

Actually,

It's true.

I was extremely shy.

And that shyness led to me having social anxiety.

I used to be so scared of going out to parties,

Particularly parties in people's houses.

What can I say?

What are they going to say?

What will we talk about?

I would get so anxious that I wouldn't even go.

And when I built these stories,

It just made me even more anxious and more stressed.

Actually,

When I forced myself to go,

I had a great time.

But the storytelling and that anxiety beforehand was just crippling for me.

And this rhythmic breathing practice helped me,

Helped calm myself down and helped me think,

OK,

Let's just go and then let's see what we talk about.

And by doing that,

It was fantastic.

So that is why I like this rhythmic breathing practice,

Because for me,

It works.

I don't know about you.

Give it a try and see if it works for you.

So what we're going to be doing is we're going to be breathing in through the nose for four seconds.

And then we'll hold just for one or two seconds and breathe out through the nose for four seconds.

And we'll keep that going.

Four seconds in,

Four seconds out.

And we'll just get a nice rhythm going there.

Then I'll say to you five and we'll breathe in for five seconds and out for five seconds and we'll get a rhythm going there.

And then we'll go to six seconds in and six seconds out and get a nice rhythm going there.

What you're doing here when you get this rhythm going,

You're starting to activate the left hand hippocampus,

Which means we become focused.

And you also activate.

You're a parasympathetic part of your central nervous system.

You calm yourself down.

And because you're focusing on the breath,

You're bringing yourself back into the present moment.

So this practice is a win-win-win.

It's an all-around win.

So I'm not going to count for you because it just makes it more confusing.

I'm going to.

.

.

Just invite you to count for yourself.

So sit nice and comfortable in your chair.

And lightly close your eyes again so you can focus.

On your breath and your counting.

And start by.

.

.

Count in as you breathe in.

Count for four seconds as you breathe in.

Hold for one or two seconds.

And count for four seconds as you breathe out.

And just keep doing that.

Four seconds in,

Four seconds out.

And get a nice rhythm going there.

Now remember,

If your mind wanders off,

It's okay,

Don't worry.

Just gently bring it back.

And start counting four seconds in.

And four seconds out.

And now breathe in for five seconds and then breathe out for five seconds.

And as you're breathing out,

Just start to soften those shoulders.

Let them relax.

And feel yourself sinking down into your chair.

So continue to breathe in and out for five seconds.

And now breathe in for six seconds and then out for six seconds and get a nice rhythm going there.

And now breathe normally.

And before you open your eyes,

Just check in to see how are you feeling now?

Are you feeling more calm and relaxed and peaceful?

So just slowly start to open your eyes.

So I don't know if that was calming for you.

So I can see all your comments now.

We're on this.

Events so just type in did that calm you down did that work for you didn't it work for you so let me know type in the comments because i will be able to read them now So.

.

.

And next.

Exercise to bring ourselves into the present moment.

Is to engage with our body.

Nobody has written any comments or am I not seeing my comments?

So I'd really like to hear from you.

Type in the comments.

Did it work?

Didn't it work?

I'd like interaction here.

Okay,

I'm getting sleepy.

Yeah,

Cool.

Yeah,

OK,

Great.

Okay,

Good.

So it worked for some of you.

That's fantastic.

So that's one anchor.

That's one mindfulness anchor for you to keep in mind.

The next mindful anchor is to re-engage with your body.

So I'm just reading all your comments now.

So it's good.

So somebody's headache went.

It always works.

Yes,

It's true.

OK,

So now we're going to engage with our bodies.

So in this one,

You know,

When we get stressed and anxious,

Our body really does get.

Tight and we start to You know,

Our shoulders get tight,

Our back gets tight,

The jaw gets tight,

The forehead goes hard.

When we get overstressed and anxious.

So this next mindfulness practice is going to work on that.

So what we're going to do is we're going to focus on certain areas of the body.

And when we focus on that area,

We're going to just imagine that we can feel that area soften and relax.

So if I say focus your awareness on your feet,

Then put your awareness on your feet,

Feel those feet and then feel that they're going soft.

And relaxing.

And as we go round our body,

We're going to soften and relax the whole of our body.

So when we come to the end,

We're completely relaxed.

Sophie felt sleepy doing the breathing awareness.

She's definitely going to be sleepy doing this one.

Okay,

So.

.

.

Again,

I want you to just sit nice and comfortably in your chair.

Now,

Don't have your legs crossed.

Have your feet flat on the ground if you can,

A little bit apart.

And don't cross your arms.

Just have your hands just comfortably in your lap.

And lightly close your eyes.

So I want you to begin by focusing your awareness on your feet.

And now just imagine your feet softening.

And becoming relaxed.

And now move your awareness to your legs.

And then feel the legs soften.

And relax.

And now move your awareness to your lower back.

And just imagine your lower back becoming soft.

And relax.

Thank you.

And move your awareness up to your upper bank.

And again,

Soften.

And allow the upper back to relax.

And gently move your awareness to your hands.

Suffen the hands.

And allow them to relax.

We will.

Be a minute.

And now move your awareness to your arms.

Suffern the arms.

And allow them to relax.

Now move your awareness to your neck and shoulders.

Soften them Release any stress or tension you have there.

And allow them to relax.

And then place your awareness on your face.

Soften your face.

Just feel it drop.

And relax.

Now place your awareness on your chest.

Soften.

And relax the chest.

And now place your awareness on your stomach.

Soften.

And relax the stomach.

Now your whole body is relaxed.

So just sit there a moment.

And just notice how calm and peaceful and relaxed you feel now.

And then very slowly start to open your eyes.

So I hope you haven't all fallen asleep.

So this is a wonderful practice to do.

You know,

When our minds are so stressed and so anxious and our body is so tense,

It's just a great practice to do to bring ourselves back into the present moment.

So again,

Write your comments so I can see if this works with you or not.

Again,

I've always found this one to be a great practice to do.

And also it's a good practice to do.

Whenever you're having difficulty sleeping,

You know,

You lay down and you can just relax your whole body and then you have a good night's sleep.

So how was this for you?

Just type in the comments there.

So again,

This is.

.

.

Yeah.

So release tension,

I didn't even realize I had.

That's a point.

You know,

We spend so much time up here focusing on what's going up here.

We do forget the body and we do forget about,

You know,

Here.

And we only realize that.

You know,

Or the body when we have pain.

Other times we just totally forget it.

So,

I mean,

That's true.

We don't realize that we have this tension.

So I think I've made you all a bit too sleepy now.

Anyway,

So this is another mindfulness anchor tool to go into your mindfulness toolbox.

So now you've got the rose,

The bud and the thorn in there.

You've got your rhythmic breathing.

You've got this soften and relax body scan.

So now let's look at the final one.

This is not so relaxing,

So you're okay.

This final one is using our five senses.

So we can use any of our five senses to bring ourselves into the present moment.

So we can use the sense of hearing so we can close our eyes and then just listen for any sounds that we can hear.

So maybe we'll hear sounds close and then try to listen to the furthest sound away you can hear.

So using the sense of sound,

We can bring ourselves back into the present moment because remember,

We can only hear these sounds in the present moment.

Or you can close your eyes and you can smell and see what different smells there are.

This is usually a little difficult because some people don't have the sense of smell.

I have quite a good sense of smell.

It can be a good thing sometimes and not so good other times.

So close your eyes and then.

See what different smells there are.

You can use a sense of touch So you can touch things with different textures.

So when we're doing this.

When we're doing this then We don't want to touch anything for too long.

We just want to touch it and become aware.

What does it feel like?

And then move on.

So touch something,

Say,

Of wood,

Something of plastic,

Something of paper,

Something of glass.

Just touch things with different textures,

But don't spend too much time touching them.

If you spend too much time touching and we start to build stories again.

Oh,

I like this.

I don't like this.

This touch is funny,

Though.

This one is good.

So don't touch it for too long,

But just touch and feel it.

Yeah,

And touch and feel it.

Again,

It's bringing you into the present moment.

If you have any dried fruit like a raisin or a cranberry or something like this,

Put it one in your mouth,

Not a handful,

Just one.

Put one in your mouth.

Just chew it a little bit.

And then just leave it sitting on your tongue.

Close the mouth.

Close your eyes.

Go inside and see what flavors are released from just one little dried fruit.

I mean,

That alone would be amazing.

But again,

It's bringing you into the present moment.

And most powerful sense is our sense of sight.

And that's why I'm saying to you,

Close your eyes and listen,

Close your eyes and smell,

Or close your eyes and go put your awareness inside your mouth.

Because a sense of sight is so powerful,

It overrides the other senses.

So we're going to use the sense of sight.

So what I want you to do,

And again,

When you look,

I want you to just look,

Notice,

Move on.

Look,

Notice,

Move on.

Don't spend time as your mind will slip in there and start to tell yourself stories.

I want you to look around your room now and look for everything that is green in color.

So everything in your room that is the color green.

But remember,

Don't look too long.

Just notice and move on.

And now notice everything that is blue in your room.

Okay.

So a simple practice like that brings us back into the present moment.

So when you're doing this practice,

Make sure you have like pastel colors like this,

Like a green,

A yellow and a blue.

Don't have like.

Reds and maroons and blacks and things like that because that brings different feelings up in us so try to have colors that are lighter colors,

Colors that make us feel calm,

Because the last thing we want to do is then become agitated by what we're looking at.

Now you can use any of your senses to bring yourself back into the present moment.

So now you have all of these tools to put into your mindful toolbox.

Now,

The difference between meditation and mindfulness.

Now,

I know that with this new modern mindfulness,

We call it mindful meditation,

Which just totally confuses everybody.

But mindfulness was one thing.

Meditation was another,

Really.

So meditation is a formal practice where you sit down,

You set a time,

You do the meditation.

It's a formal practice.

Mindfulness is informal.

It's something you can do as and when you need it.

So all these tools,

You don't have to worry about,

Do I do it in the morning?

Do I do it in the evening?

Do I do it after I've eaten or before I've eaten?

With these mindfulness tools,

You do it.

Whenever you need to do it.

So they're there for as and when you need them.

So just remember that you have these tools in your toolbox.

But also remember,

A tool is only useful if you use it.

If you're just going to keep it sitting in your mindful toolbox,

It's not going to help you.

So you've got them there.

Use them.

Try them out.

See which ones work for you.

So the final practice I want to do is if you are so extremely.

.

.

Anxious and fearful and panicky and you know a lot of us going back into lockdown and into curfews and.

.

.

I'm sure that we're not at the end.

I mean,

We're.

.

.

Now in our second wave,

I'm sure there's another one coming along.

You know put us back into our room so we get You know,

Cabin fever.

We spend a lot of time,

You know,

Stuck in the room.

We've lost a lot of freedom.

So it can make us feel really stressed and really anxious.

So this next practice is a wonderful practice to do to take your mind away.

So,

You know,

We're in lockdown or curfews or whatever,

And we can't just go out physically.

But mentally,

Nobody can stop you going wherever you want.

So this is what we're going to do.

We're going to go on a mental vacation.

And another good thing is cheap because it doesn't cost you anywhere,

Cost you any money to go off.

So what I'm going to ask you to do is to think of a place that you have visited before.

So a place that was beautiful,

A place that was relaxing,

Calm and peaceful,

Where you felt safe.

So I'm going to ask you to think of a place like that.

Then I'm going to ask you to imagine that now you're standing in that place and we're going to use our senses to look around and to listen and to touch,

To really engage with that place.

Then we'll do a breathing awareness practice where we're going to calm ourselves down and relax ourselves.

And then whatever stress,

Worries,

Anxieties,

Fears,

Whatever is holding us back,

We're just going to leave it there.

So when we come back into our room.

We're nice and relaxed and we're calm and we're able to cope with whatever challenges we're facing at the moment.

So again,

Just sit nice and comfortable and lightly close your eyes.

So now I want you to think of a place that you've visited before.

That was calm and peaceful.

Beautiful.

And you felt safe there.

So it could be on the beach.

It could be on a mountain,

By a lake.

In a forest.

Wherever it is,

Just bring that into the front of your mind and just picture that for a moment.

And while you're imagining this place,

I want you to think and visualize yourself standing in this beautiful,

Calm and peaceful place.

I'm while you're there.

Just have a look around you.

What can you see?

And what sounds can you hear in this beautiful place?

And take some deep breaths in through your nose.

And just imagine what smells there are in this beautiful place.

The feeling?

How I don't so mean it on the phone where she did it.

Shin,

One more peace.

And now while you're standing there,

Look up at the sky and just notice how blue the sky is.

And noticed the sun in the sky.

And one or two white clouds just gently floating by.

And feel the warmth of that sun on your face.

Making your skin tingle.

You know it It's a new book.

It's in the way.

And now allow that warmth to warm the whole of your head up.

On your neck.

Shoulders.

Your arms and your hands.

And as this wand goes down your body.

It's making you feel relaxed.

And save.

To feel the warmth going down your upper back and your chest.

Your lower back and your stomach.

All the way down your legs Your feet.

All the way to the tips of your toes.

So now imagine that you're sitting down on the ground in this beautiful place.

And touch your hands on the ground.

What can you feel?

And as you're sitting there,

I want you to focus your awareness on your breath.

And as you breathe in,

Keep mentally reciting the word calm.

And as you breathe out.

Keep mentally reciting the word.

Relax.

So breathing in calm.

And breathing out,

Relax.

And as you breathe in calm,

Just notice how calm and peaceful your mind has become.

And as you're breathing out,

Relaxed.

Become aware of how relaxed your body is now.

Remember.

This is your safe place.

A place you can come whenever you're feeling fearful.

Stressed anxious or overwhelmed So whatever is holding you back today.

Just leave it here.

Any worries or concerns Any stories you've told yourself?

And emotions or thoughts.

Whatever is holding you back,

Just leave it here.

And now very slowly.

Start to open your eyes And just sit there a moment.

Just gently bringing yourself back into the outside world.

So now you have the rose,

The bud and the thorn.

You have your anchors,

The rhythmic breathing.

Soften and relax body scan your five senses you can use and this visualization practice so now you have all of these tools to go into your mindful toolbox to help you cope with any stress or anxiety you may be having at the moment So.

.

.

Thank you so much for joining me in this session.