Releasing Resistance - Live Recording 13 October 2023

This is the recording of Femke's monthly live, recorded on 13 October 2023. In it, Femke discusses what resistance is and how we can start to release that resistance in a self-gentle way. Like with every live talk by Femke, she answers questions of participants and closes off by guiding you in a meditation to let you experience for yourself what her words can do for you.

Transcript

Hello everyone, Welcome to my monthly live, I am so happy to be here! How are you doing? If you don't know me, My name is Femke Bakker and I am a meditation teacher here on InsightTimer. Next to that I am also a behavioral scientist and a teacher of self-gentleness. And what self-gentleness is, I will tell you more about in a minute. Let's first take some time for people to join us before we start. I would love to hear who you are, Where you are in the world. And especially I am really curious to hear from you, What is resistance to you? Because the topic of today is releasing resistance. I can imagine that the word resistance might have a different connotation for folks. So I am really curious, What is it for you? What is resistance to you? So let me take a look. Hi Liz from Philly, Hi Petta, Good morning to you. Hi Bill, Hi Mary from England, Hi Luanne, Lovely that you are here. A good sunny afternoon, Great! So the autumn still brings sun to you, Luanne, I am really happy to hear that. Hi Fran, North Carolina, Hi Esther from San Jose, Hi Annemiek, Hi Mona, North Carolina. Lovely to see you all. So what is resistance to you guys? Could you let me know in the comments, What do you experience as resistance? Maybe it's something specific, Maybe it's something large, Maybe you want to say something about how you experience it, Or maybe you want to share how you are already releasing that resistance. I will speak a little bit more to that, But I am still going to take one more minute or so for people to join us. Mary says, Resistance to change. So that is if there is any change, That you feel that you have some problems with that, Or you would rather not see change coming and you feel resistance there, Right? Am I understanding that correct? Esther says, Not being in the flow of life, Yeah, That's a really clear one. I really like that one. Liz says, Reluctant to do what I really sense is the next right thing to me. Okay, Cool. And Liz, I would be curious if it is sensing what is the next right thing, Or thinking, Assuming what is the next right thing. Because that might make a difference, Sensing or thinking, Right? Intuition or your head making up things. Really curious what your answer will be for that. Hi Didi, Good morning to you in Sydney. Bill says, Resistance is blocking mental patterns. Could you elaborate a little bit more on that, Bill, What you exactly mean with that? Resistance is blocking mental patterns. Oh, So what you mean is that your mental patterns are blocked? But what do you mean with a mental pattern? Because as a meditation teacher, When someone says a mental pattern, It could also be a pattern within the mind that is causing that resistance. So it might mean that to you. Would be really happy to hear that from you. Mary, Accepting the change. Yes, That's something that you would like to do by releasing resistance, Really great. Hi Christine says, Resistance feels like a negative judgment, For example, Towards my physical disability. Yeah, That's a really great way to say it. Absolutely. Annemiek says something, Sometimes resistance in my body or mind. Yeah, Body or mind. Yeah. Barefoot says the inability to surrender and trust, Trying to control out of fear. Yeah, It's beautiful. It's so beautiful. Everything, You know, It's so great to see that everyone is giving their own words, Their own understanding of what resistance is to them. Well, It all boils down in the end to the same, But we all have different words to express that. I really like that. Thank you so much for sharing that. Esme says, Resistance to me means not willing or sometimes inability to move forward with whatever life is giving. Yeah, That's also beautiful. Amanda, Good morning. You're in Australia. It's an important day with the vote for the voice. Many resist acknowledging our indigenous people. Wow, Amanda, That's an important day indeed. I didn't know that that was going on. So that has to do with resistance also, Or at least seeing others with that resistance. So I hope that the vote for the voice will be a beautiful day for you. Hi, John. Liz says, I meant sensing, But I guess it could be either. I asked Liz just, You know, Are you sensing that you're not going to the next thing that you think is right for you or is it thinking what is right? Well, We will get to that, Liz. And maybe you will start to disentangle that feeling for yourself. Hi, Randy. Lovely to see you. You say the fear of failure or success. Yes. Failure or success. Yeah. And that is like two sides of a coin, Right? Fear of failure, But also what if it goes right? What kind of thoughts are you going to have right then? Right. Yeah. I can see that one also. We'll get to that also. Luanne says resistance to me is blocking some negative. It can be either a positive or a negative attitude. That's a beautiful take on it also, Right? Resisting to go into fear, Like consciously choosing better thoughts. Right. That could also be a way of resistance. Lovely to hear your perspective on that. Rose says, Hi. Resistance for me is a temporary slug I make myself swim through whenever I encounter situations or people that trigger something in me. Yeah. So you get into situations, People that trigger you, And then you feel that you are in this slug for some time. It's like you're getting stuck. Yeah. I think that's a really, Really great description of how resistance can feel and how you can experience it. Thank you so much. Bill says, Yeah. In the neuroplastic sense, These would be obsolete neural circuits or negative conditioning leading to a dominant negative talk stream. Yeah. Really great. Thank you for elaborating that. Yes. And also Luanne says, Yeah. Didi says resistance is refusing to accept circumstances, Situations or something and staying stuck. Really great. Randy says, I think there's a hidden perfectionist in me and deep fear that failure will trigger my shame, Which runs very deep. Yeah. Wow. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. What is resistance? Jamie asks this question. I'm wondering how resistance is different from avoidance. Yeah. I think avoidance might be part of resistance, Right? It might be a decision or step you take when you experience resistance. So let's dig a little bit deeper in that. For everyone who just joins, My name is Femke Bakker. I'm teaching self-gentleness meditation and also a behavioral scientist. And today I'm speaking about releasing resistance. So what I really love about all the descriptions that you're giving about resistance, What it is, Is that they're all true. Because they're all descriptions of something that you are experiencing, Like something that is in your way to whatever it is you want to go to. Like there is a change, Like there is something new, Like you encounter a situation and you feel a response that you wouldn't like to and you cannot let go of it. So resistance is a very abstract word in a sense, Right? So I'm really happy that you're giving words to it because these descriptions are all very, Very true. Resistance can be from really something clear, Like the thought, I don't want this. That's very clear resistance. Something happens or someone asks something from you or someone does something to you or you tell yourself that you have to do something. There are certain expectations from others of yourself that dictates that you feel that you have to do something and you feel with everything, I don't want this. That's a very clear resistance, Right? And that's like someone describes, Like Mary said, Resistance to change. Hey, Things are changing. I don't want this. I don't know what is out there. I don't know what is that next step. I prefer to be here, What I know. And that is resistance to change. But it could also come indeed like, You know, You're well doing in your life, Being pretty happy and then something suddenly happens and you get stuck and you get really annoyed about what happened. It could be something as simple as rain outside and suddenly you're in a bad mood, Which is also kind of a resistance because it's in your way to feel good. So if you would want me to define how I see resistance, It's basically a response to whatever is going on within you or going on without you to which you react and where you feel that you do not allow yourself to be who you truly are. And now I hear you asking, So Femke, Who am I truly then? Well, You are someone who is worthy, Someone who is so loved, So lovable, Always. You're someone who is so unique, So special, And you are allowed to feel that. You are allowed to know that you are part of everything that is, That you are love, That you are special, And every thought that is in that way, Whether it's triggered by someone else, Whether it's triggered by a situation, Whether it's triggered by bad weather, Whether it's triggered by your childhood experiences, It might be triggered by something that just happened one second ago, Whatever it is, When you feel that you do not allow yourself to be who you truly are, That is what I call resistance. I know, It sounds still really abstract, And that's why I asked you to give words to it. Because if we take a look at all these definitions, I was reading them out loud just now, At the core of those is, I just want to feel good. I just want to feel that I'm at ease, That I experience joy, That I experience love, And I don't mean it in the highest, Biggest sense that you have to be jumping up and down of happiness. It's just being at ease, Being satisfied, And feeling good with yourself. That is who you truly are. And all those conditions that you described are in the way of that. That is resistance. So, Is it bad to feel resistance? No, Not at all. It's unpleasant when you feel it, And sometimes it's not so unpleasant, Sometimes it's really, Really, Really unpleasant. We will speak to that a little bit more. But it's also just part of life. And the art of life is, I guess, Being able to recognize when there is some resistance, And then to take care of yourself, To tune in, To come to yourself, And feel whatever is there. And to release resistance, Sometimes it's easy, And sometimes it's not so easy, And it will take some time. And for me, The answer to releasing resistance is, You can guess, Self-gentleness. Now here, Another concept. If you've not been, I know a lot of your names, I know you've been around, But for those that are new here, I will just define self-gentleness. It's a concept that I coined one and a half year ago. And it is radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. Radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. Which means, Effectively, That whenever something is going on with you, That you notice that you feel resistance, That you tune in to yourself, And you feel what it is that you need right now. And that can be anything, In any moment. So, Let's say, For instance, The example of Mary, Who says, I feel resistance when things are changing. Well, First of all, The most important part for Mary is to know that that is okay. That is okay. Some people thrive on change. Some people are really happy to throw their lives completely in different directions just to feel the rush of the change. And some people just don't like change. Some people prefer to stick with what they know and let change come only incrementally. So the very first step is to just acknowledge that you are who you are and that change is something that you have to take some time for. It's okay to change, Because when you look back at when you were a little baby and who you are now, You can see that you changed a lot, Right? Only just that you grew up and so many things that you experienced in your life. You have changed. Everything is changing. Even the cells in your body are changing all the time. So that's the second step, To realize that change has always been part of your life, But also that that change that happened already in your life was an incremental process and that is something that you can deal with when it comes incrementally. So then the next step would be tuning in. So what is it that I need? I see things are changing. I know from experience that I cannot stop change from happening, But what I can do is see how I want to be in this process. Maybe I need to take a step back. Maybe I just need to sit down. Maybe I just have to ask myself, Do I want this change now? Do I want this to change in a different way? And to have that really honest talk with yourself. Maybe at that moment you only feel, I need to cry now. This change is giving me so many feelings. I just need to cry now. So then carve out some time, Find a safe space and cry. Be kind to yourself, Hug yourself, Comfort yourself. So I now took this one example of how you can experience that resistance and how self-gentleness is the key in dealing with that resistance. Okay, So the title of this live is releasing resistance. And I realized while I'm speaking that there is kind of a promise there, Right? You come here, You have a bunch of resistance and I will help you to release it. Well, I have to disappoint you, You have to do it yourself. I know. I can tell you the way that you can do it and I will guide you in the meditation so that you can experience for you that you might be able to release some resistance. But I really want you to know that you can all do this by yourself. You can. It is a matter of understanding to be gentle with yourself, Being kind to yourself. You don't need me or anyone telling you exactly what to do so you can release it. You can do this. It's really important. I know I stress this always, But one of the main things that I like to teach is that you can empower yourself to find that feeling good, To find that position where you know who you truly are, That you are loved, That you are worthy, That you are lovable and that you can feel good by being gentle to yourself. And feeling good doesn't mean that you have to feel good all the time because like I just said, It's okay to feel resistance. It is part of life. Things happen. Terrible things happen in the world. I mean, We are already, You know, For well over a year in a war in Ukraine. Now a second world war started and there are so many terrible things in the world that you cannot help but feeling the pain of life and the resistance of life. And it is terrible. But that also reminds yourself that you, You have that power to be gentle to yourself. So if all the events in the world are hurting you or making you sad or making you angry or making you feel helpless, Powerless, Then be with yourself and tune in and ask yourself, What is it that I need right now? Do I need to watch the news all the time? Do I need to see the newspaper? Do I need all these things that give me more of these emotions that disempower me? Or is it now time to take a break from that and to take care of myself? Because what you also might start to know when you become self-gentle is that when you know that you have your own back, When you know that you can help yourself to feel good just by taking a nap, By taking a shower, By making yourself a nice cup of tea and drink that, Or reach out to someone that you love or go sporting or be with friends or binge watch a beautiful series or read a book or whatever it is that you can do to make yourself feel a little bit better right now, When you start to experience that you have that power, Then you know that whatever is going on, You can help yourself to feel better. And you know what happens when people feel that self-empowerment, The power that others and situations have over you to take away that feeling good disappears. And when more people know that they can make themselves feel good, They change something. They change something in themselves and they change how they interact with others. They give a beautiful example to others that they can also do this. And you know, All the change that can be in the world starts with you. With every one of you. With every one of you. Self-empowerment to know how you can help yourself to feel good, To see the beauty, To feel love, To feel good things. And then to speak from that. Because there's so much more power in speaking from love, In speaking from empathy, Speaking from compassion. And I know when a lot of things are going on, We might feel the resistance to go there. Who am I to feel good when so many people are suffering? But it's true. When you start with you, You become a light that shines. This is an example for others. And it might sound a little bit, You know, Hippy-dippy or out there, Naive, Pollyanna. But you know what? I don't care. Because I believe in this. And I also believe that when more people start doing this, The world will incrementally, Slowly become a little bit better. Maybe just a little bit. But you know, We all have our piece in this. Okay, I was not planning to have this speech. But apparently it was important for me to say this. Because I've been feeling a lot of resistance with everything that's going on in the world. And I guess I had to remind myself also of this. So thank you so much for being here and listening to me. It's really touching me right now. Because I noticed that I apparently needed this platform to remind myself of this power. And I feel it now. Thanks to you guys listening to me. Thank you so much for being here and supporting me in this. So, Letting go of resistance. Why would we actually want to let go of resistance? Well, I think there's beauty in realizing that we feel resistance. Because it's a really clear message. There is something I don't want. There's something I don't want to feel. There's something I don't want to experience. There's something that I want differently. I want to feel better. I want to feel good. I want to feel love. This is basically always what it is. But by knowing what you don't want, You get into a process of understanding what you do want. Have you noticed that it's way easier to know what you don't want than to know exactly what you do want? It is kind of scary to know what you do want. Randy just said it. She said, Well, I feel resistance is a fear of failure, What I don't want. But it's also a fear of success. Do I really want that? What is it that I want? Oh, Yeah, I do want success. I do want success in my work. I know Randy is an artist. I know she's a pretty awesome artist, I can say. I've seen some of her work. It's beautiful. But the fear of that success is the other side of that coin, Of the fear of failure, Of course. Because with success come these thoughts in your mind. Am I really deserving this? Am I good enough? Am I not an imposter? Am I deserving this? But these thoughts, This is all resistance to that feeling good. Because, Yes, You deserve anything. You don't have to do anything to just deserve to feel good, To just deserve to feel loved. This is a given for every being on this earth. I don't mean human being. I mean every being on this earth. Actually, Every being in this universe. But, You know, Let's speak about earth. Let's speak about earth. That's what we know for sure, That we have some beings here. So it's good to feel resistance, But it's also good to learn how to release it. Because if we feel it and we start to believe it or we start to fight with it, Fighting with resistance generally gives more resistance. It's really hard to push resistance away because it will not go. It will just push back harder. That's my own experience. I'm now almost 52, And I've experienced a lot of resistance in my life. And I do know when you push against it, It's just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. This is not the way. So what is the way? Well, The way is being gentle with yourself. And that goes different for everyone. Well, There are practices for self-gentleness. If you have a premium account, Then listen to my course about self-gentleness. It's a seven-day, Actually a four-day course and three days with practices that you can do every day. Three-minute practices. So in three times a day, Three minutes, Not even 10 minutes a day, You can teach yourself to become self-gentle. It takes you about a month. Then you have institutionalized it, Incorporated it, And then you start on your way. I know people here have done this course and are feeling way more self-gentle. So this is it. I want to speak with you with some ways to let go of that resistance. So one really great way is when you notice the best thing is when you notice that you feel resistance and it's still small, It's still that small feeling in the pit of your stomach or the thought, Hmm, Suddenly I don't feel so happy anymore. There it starts. The sooner you catch it and you start working with it, The easier it is to let go. But if you're already dazed cranky, Then you're already dazed in resistance and it can get bigger. That's also okay, But then it's a little bit harder to find where to go. So there are a few really great practices. Something that I have experienced for myself the last year or so is that the body is really important for releasing resistance. I always thought it had a lot to do with releasing thoughts. So meditating, Getting calm, So you start to release thoughts especially. But there is still a lot of emotions in our body. I don't know if you remember one of my lives that I held on releasing emotions, How to deal with emotions, Where I explained that you experience emotions as a physiological experience. So when there is an emotion, It's a feeling in your body. And when you are able to just stick with that feeling, To observe that feeling from a neutral position and you don't give stories to feed the emotion or you don't start to fight it, Then actually these bodily sensations are in your body, They come bigger and bigger and then they go out of you and it takes only about 60 to 90 seconds before they're gone. And then there might be another wave, 60 to 90 seconds and they're gone. And if you are able to just sit and experience and observe whatever your body is feeling in those 60 to 90 minutes when the emotion comes like a wave through you, You actually release it. You get it stuck in your body when you start to fight it or when you start to feed yourself stories of why you're feeling like this and that you are right to feel like this. And the emotion gets stirred up and it becomes like rather a wave that comes through you, It's like a tsunami and especially when we fight that, We get that energy of that emotion stuck in our body. So when we experience resistance, Sometimes it's really hard to let go of it because something old has been triggered. We all had childhood experiences and we all had childhood experiences that were not so pleasant and for some they were really, Really traumatic and for others they were just not so feeling good. You know, Maybe trauma might be too big a word but there are things that still have conditioned us to have not so pleasant thoughts about ourselves. We all have this. It just is part of life and that is okay. But it's good to recognize when we have this and that when we feel this resistance and it's really strong like an emotion, It's something that is still in our body. That is that emotion that once was there and it's still there and now it's been triggered and the only way to release it is to help our bodies to release it. And believe it or not, A really great way to do this is to shake, Really, To shake. So what now? Yeah, You have to shake. So let's do it together. I don't know, If there are people around you then you can also do it at a later time. But one of the great things is when you feel that you have an emotion, You feel you are experiencing resistance, You just stand up and you start to shake a little bit. So you just, You know, One arm, Second arm, A leg, Another leg, Shake a little bit with your buttocks, Shake a little bit with your belly. You know, You shake it and you say, I feel kind of silly now, But I also know it's helping me. So if you do this just for a minute, We can do it together. Shake a little bit with your arms, Shoulders, Your legs, Voice, Face. I don't know. I don't know if you feel this, But when you shake your body, That you feel there's a release. And why is that? Because by shaking you let go of whatever there is now in your body fighting with you. If you're someone who has experienced a lot of trauma, Then be a little bit careful with this, Because with the shaking a lot of emotion can come free, You know, And then sometimes it's necessary to have some professional help with that. I know there are also therapists who work specifically with this, You know, Somatic training, Somatic therapies. So be aware of that. But for most of us shaking, It can be really, Really good. So whenever you feel stress, Whenever you feel resistance, It might not be the first thing you think, But generally we get stuck. We, You know, We pull in our belly, We pull in our stomach. But if you just go to a place, You can go to the restroom, No one sees you, You lock the door and you just start to shake a little bit. And feel what it does for you. I was not having so much resistance and I was not now just shaking, But it feels good. I feel my blood flowing. I feel the energy flowing. It feels really, Really good to shake. And you look a little bit funny. I just saw myself. Normally I don't look at myself when I shake it. I saw it. But you know, That's even better. That's also part of releasing that resistance. All right. Yes, Christina, It looks like fun and it is fun. All right. And actually the shaking, That's not exactly, I didn't invent this. A lot of therapists are working with this. If you want to know more about them, Take a look at the work of Peter Levine, Who is a trauma specialist, Who is originally also a biologist, Who looked at the animal world. It goes too far to explain it now to understand that to release stress, To release traumatic experiences, Animals shake and also people need to shake to let go of all of that. It's a really, Really great way. So if you want to learn more about it, Take a look at his work. All right. So what I would like to do now is to take you on a visualization where we will, You know, Touch upon a few things where you can relax and where you can release a little bit of your resistance. So before we start, Just pick one thing that you know that you feel resistant about. And if there are a few things, Then don't pick the hardest thing, Because the hardest things tend to take some more time. Take that a little bit less hard thing. Just take something that you feel like ready to release. The resistance that you are ready to release. You know something? Yes, That thing. It's always when I ask this, The first thing that pops up in your mind, That's the one to go with. That's your intuition telling you. And then you might start to filter with your head. Don't do that. That's also resistance. The first thing that pops up. Okay, We're going to start. Take a sip of water. And we're starting. All right. Now, I don't know if you were shaking with me. I feel really good because of that. So take some time to sit and feel how you are sitting. You know, You can lean against the back of the chair or the sofa or the wall. Unless you prefer to sit up straight. But just know we were going to be together here for about half an hour or something. So if you know that you're going to do like this, Then just lean against something. It's way more easier. And you don't have to release that resistance against the sitting. Now bring your attention to your buttocks. Your buttocks are resting on the seat. Maybe you're lying down and you feel as if you're back. And just become aware of all the touch points that you have now with the seat below you. It's not just your buttocks on the seat, Right? And you bring your attention there. You feel so many different places where your buttocks touch the seat. And now bring your attention to your feet. So if they're on the ground, You feel how the soles are touching the ground. Also here, There's so many different touch points. There's something beautiful about bringing your attention to your feet on the ground. It always makes me realize how I am connected to the earth. And then I think of this beautiful earth that is carrying all of us with enormous speed through space. This gigantic space. Where outside of planets there is no life possible. And this earth that takes care of us, It feeds us, It warms us. And feeling my feet on that earth gives me a sense of support, Comfort, Safety. It's beautiful, Right? Now close your eyes, If you didn't already. And be aware of a moment from your own personal unique connection to planet earth. And that you're experiencing this now through your feet. Feel the support, The sureness of mother earth carrying you. There's not suddenly a hole that you will fall into. She just carries you. There's a lot of beauty in that. And one beautiful way to really experience this is sometimes just to go barefoot. With bare feet. Go outside, Put your feet on the dirt, The sand, The soil. Imagine that your feet are rooting in the earth and just feel that connection. It's so grounding, It's so special to make that connection. You can also do it when you live in the city. There's always some place to be found. You can stand on the grass. Alright. Do you sense there is more calmness in your body now? You've been bringing your attention to your body. You can feel now how your hands are in your lap, Your arms are relaxed, Your shoulders are relaxed. If they are not, Just pull them up and drop them. Again, Pull them up and drop them. And if you want to sigh, Then that's okay. You might notice that your body starts to relax from itself now because you are bringing your attention to your buttocks on the seat, Your feet on the earth, You relax your shoulders. And your body knows what to do. When you do this, Just like when shaking, You're shaking it off. Now you're helping your body to relax and you can let your body take over. You can help your body even by breathing in on the count of two and breathing out on the count of four. Because when your out-breath is longer than your in-breath, You help your body to start to relax. So let's take a few breaths together. When you're in-breath, You can make it as long as you're short as you like, As feels comfortable. Just make sure that your out-breath is longer than your in-breath. So breathe in and out. And in and out. Just continue with this slow in-breath and even slower out-breath. While you listen to my voice. You feel that your body is relaxing now. You feel that your body is becoming softer. That the tension that you might have had in your face, Your shoulders, Your belly, Is slowly dripping away. With every out-breath, The tension is flowing out of your body, Out of your system. And I'm asking you to join me on a little journey. So, In your mind, Just keep your eyes closed. You listen to my voice and you let me guide you. I will speak to you in images. And if you see images really easy, Then just follow that. But if you are someone who doesn't see images so much, Then use your fantasy in your way. I know some people fantasize in words, Others fantasize in feelings, In knowing something. Do it your way. Don't force yourself to do something that you cannot do so easily. Use your fantasy. Listen to my words and let your fantasy do the rest. In a way that feels good to you and easy to you. Alright. Now, There is a stairs here. And this stairs is leading downwards. And we are going to walk this stairs really slowly with ease. I will count the steps. And with every step, You feel more relaxed. And you feel that you will sigh it out even more. 1, 2, 3, 4. You feel more and more relaxed. 5, 6. Your mind is calm, Your body is soft. 7, 8. There is this beautiful peacefulness within. 9, 10, 11, 12. You feel a calmness over you. It's so peaceful within. Everything is soft and gentle. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. We have descended the stairs. And we are now standing in a beautiful wood. And when you look around, There are such beautiful old trees. There is some wisdom coming from these trees. When you look around, There is a lot of light from the sun still shining through the leaves. The trees are not that close. It still feels like there is some openness. And there is a lot of wisdom here. These trees are really, Really special. It feels kind of safe to be here. It feels like home to be here. So when you take a look around, Or you feel around, Then you might see all these details that belong to your feeling of home. So there might be animals that you love. There might be flowers that you love. Colors. Maybe there is a sense that you love. Maybe you see people in the distance that you know that give you a good feeling. Maybe the wood is not so big. And there is a park. And you see your old family home there just shimmering through those trees. Let your fantasy help you to be in this place and really create that sense of being home. Now let's walk together into this wood. And enjoy the sun on your face. The sounds of the leaves rustling. Hey, There might be some birds singing. There is a breeze on your cheeks. The temperature is just right. It's not too hot. It's not too cold. It's kind of perfect. And when you walk, Then you see that there is a small lake. And when you walk up to the lake, You see that the water is really, Really clear. It looks so beautiful. It looks so still, So calm. You hear the sound of running water. And you decide to walk a little bit around the lake. And then you see that there is a little brook flowing over stones, Ending into this lake. So this water is flowing towards the lake. So you decide to check out where this water is coming from. So you start to climb again. It's a little bit rocky, But easy to walk. You walk up. It's like walking up to a hill, Following this brook. And you really enjoy how this water is flowing over the stones. And then you see there is this small waterfall. It's running over stones. And there is a beautiful place. And suddenly you feel like you want to stand there. So you decide to step into the water. Maybe you want to take off your shoes. Maybe you didn't wear shoes. Maybe you want to take off all your clothes. Maybe you keep on your clothes. Maybe you have a swimsuit. Whatever feels good to you. And you step in the water. And surprisingly, This water has a really pleasant temperature. It's not hot. It's not cold. It's actually just perfect. And you decide to stand in this small waterfall. And you feel how this water runs over your head. Your face. Your shoulders. Your arms. Over your back. All the way over your buttocks. And the back of your legs. And over your front. Your chest. Your belly. Your thighs. Your knees. Your shins. And while you're standing here, Something really, Really special happens. Because this water, It isn't cold. It isn't hot. It's just perfect. This water runs over you. But it almost feels as if everything that was stuck within you is running away with it. You get this response in your body. Your skin starts to tingle. And you actually start to feel that there is something that wants to be released. Remember that before we started, There was something, Some resistance that you wanted to release. Now would be the time to think of this thing, This emotion, This situation, This feeling of resistance. And while you think of it now, Ask yourself to see this in a symbol. So it might be that you see an image. It might be that you see a color. Or you get a feeling. But make it something that is more tangible for now. And place this now in your hands. Have your hands in front of you. And see how this resistance is right here. And don't criticize whatever you see. Maybe you see a stone. Maybe you see a flower. Maybe you just see a color. Maybe you see something, A little monster. It doesn't matter what it is. Maybe you see a handkerchief. Maybe you see a book. It doesn't matter what it is. But your unconscious, Your intuition gave you some kind of an image that represents your resistance. Whether you understand it or not, It doesn't matter. This is your resistance. And the beautiful thing is that while this water of the waterfall is still flowing so pleasantly over you, Giving you such a good feeling, That you realize that you can release this to the water. So that's what you decide to do. And you can just drop it. You can slowly put it in the water. You can throw it away. Whatever way you like to release it, Just give it to the water. And feel how this water is flowing over you, Taking all the tension away, Giving you such a good feeling. And you now are releasing this resistance. And while it drops in the water, You see how the water caresses it, Takes it, And how it floats away from you. And realize that when you see this resistance floating away, That it might give you an emotion. Sometimes we hang on to our resistance because it's the best that we know. Well, We know it's good to let go. So if you are emotional, If you feel you need to cry, Then just do it. Just be kind to yourself. Hug yourself. Tell yourself it's okay. You do it so well. Well done. It might also be that you feel really happy that it's going away. It can also be that you feel, Yeah, Part of it is there and part of it is still within me. And that's also okay. It will come next time. You can always come back to this practice. Sometimes we need to release piece by piece. And maybe you want to shake a little bit while you're standing in the water. So maybe there's something else that you want to let go, Then by all means do so. Again, Visualize it in your hands and decide to release it to the water. And then just see how the water is taking it away. While you are enjoying this water running over you so pleasantly, So good, So loving, Caressing. Treasuring you. Loving you. All right. Now you decide to step out of the water and to walk next to the brook again, To the lake. And it's really beautiful because this brook ends in the lake. And then really pretty quickly the lake becomes really quiet. There's hardly any winds. There are just some little wrinkles on the water. And the water looks really, Really great. So you decide now to step into the water and to walk into this lake. And then when it's about thigh high, You decide to let yourself float in the water. So you lie down. You release your feet up. And you let yourself float on the water. Be carried. You can even help yourself by opening your arms, Opening your legs a little bit, Leaning backwards. And I really get this sense of being carried by the water. I don't know if you've ever floated, Whether it was in the sea or in your bathtub or maybe even in a floating cabin with salt water. Just feel yourself being supported by the water, Becoming one with the water. You can imagine that the sun is still shining on you. There are some clouds floating by. It's so very pleasant to float here and to feel the release of tension, To feel the release of resistance, To feel how good it is to take such good care of yourself. And while you're floating here, There is this one thought that very dominantly starts to be in your head right now. And it is this one. I am worthy. Yes, You are worthy. That is the thought that you start to think right now while you are floating here. It just penetrates your mind. And it's right because this is the truth. You are worthy. You can think this now. You can even say it out loud to yourself. I am worthy. I am worthy. I am so worthy. I am so lovable. I am love. I am love. I am love. I am worthy. I am love. I am worthy. I am loved. I am love. I love. I love. I love myself. I love my family. I love my partner. I love my children. I love my grandchildren. I love my parents. I love my friends. I love my work. I love everything I create. I love my life. I love my house. I love my feet. I love my knees. I love my hands that can take everything. I love the way that I can just float in the water even though I am just fantasizing this. I love how my fantasy can make me feel so good. I love it that I know that I am worthy, That I know that I have access to just knowing and feeling that I am worthy, That I am lovable, That I am loved. And if you have a sense of the feeling that comes with this stream of words within you, Then just enjoy that. And if any resistance comes up in you, Any thought that starts with a but, Then just know it's okay. Then tell yourself it's okay. It's okay. I just have to get used to feeling like this. I know deeply within myself that it is okay to feel like this, But when I feel buts, It just means I am not used to it. But from now on, I will do this more often. From now on, I will let myself float with ease in my life. I will allow myself more and more to feel that I am worthy, To know that I am worthy, To know that I am loved. And maybe I sometimes don't feel it so strongly, But I know that I can feel it more and more. So it is okay if I have some buts, As long as I allow myself to believe that I will get there. I will start to feel better and better. Because I am worthy. And I am loved. Let this feeling run through your body while you're floating there. Feel how relaxed you are. Feel how good it feels. And just know that you can always come here to feel like this. I will be silent for a minute or so, So you can really immerse yourself in this feeling. The reason we want to let go of resistance is to get access to this really relaxed feeling of love and worthiness. That's what we intrinsically know where we want to be, Where we ought to be. Because this is us. This is truly us. And whenever you feel resistance, Then just know that you can get here. And that resistance is actually helping you to realize again how special you are, How worthy you are. And the more and more you practice things like this, The more easy it will become to remember, To know that this is who you truly are. Worthy and lovable. So, I'm going to ask you in a minute to come back into your body. It might be that you are lying down really comfortable and you get sleepy and you just want to stay relaxed, Then do so. No problem. That's really great. If you do need to do things or you want to do things, Then slowly bring your attention back into the way you are sitting. Bring your attention back to your buttocks on the seat, Your feet on the ground, Your hands in your lap. Keep your eyes still closed. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Stretch your spine. Yeah. And then take a minute or so to slowly open your eyes. But take your time. Really, When you're ready, Take your time. And then I will be here for a few more minutes to see if there are any questions or comments, Things you want to share, Before we call it a day. Take your time. You're most welcome. I recorded this live, Esmee, So I will publish it as the whole live. And it might be a good idea to record this practice separate ones. Yeah. Thank you for that. I'll take a look at that. Yeah. Really great. Thank you all so much. Thank you, Esmee, For your donation. Really appreciate that. I'm happy to hear that it was meaningful. Really great. You're most welcome, Luanne. Thank you, Carol, For joining me. So, If you want to start to practice self-gentleness, So in my free tracks here on Inside Timer, There are a lot of lives about self-gentleness. And there are three main tracks that you could use. This is the wake up with a loving morning practice, Which you could do in the morning. Then there's self-gentleness tuning in and self-gentleness evening practice. These are three practices that you can do if you have a premium account, Which is really worthwhile. For $60 a year, You get access to so many things. So, If you have this, You can also listen to my self-gentleness course here on Inside Timer. If you have premium, I would also appreciate it if you would check out my premium tracks that I have. Next to my courses, Of course. I have several courses in English and in Dutch. So, How to tolerate challenging opinions and behaviors. Peak your performance with less stress and more ease. How to become an authentic leader in self-gentleness. And then there are also the Dutch courses for those who speak Dutch. More on the way also. I'm working on some more courses. But there are also premium tracks. I've released not so long ago a sleeping practice to fall asleep self-gentle. It's called Love Falling Asleep Self-Gentle. There is one with music and the same without music. Then there's a practice that is called Self-Gentleness Cultivates Self-Love. It's a practice where you really focus on feeling self-love. And there is one premium track. It's called Letting Go. I see it's highly rewarded. Most people listen to this. It's a practice that helps you to let go of whatever you want to let go of. So, When you have a premium account, You pay around $60 a year. All the teachers in InsightTimer actually get paid for this. For our courses, For the premium tracks. With this, You contribute also to InsightTimer and to the teachers here. Because with these contributions, I'm able to create new content and also free content. Like these lives, For instance. So, If you have a premium, I would really appreciate it if you would listen to my work there also. And share it with others. Tell others about it. On InsightTimer, Outside of InsightTimer. All kind of buttons. You can put it on Instagram, On Facebook. I don't know. All kind of social media that you might use to draw people in. Yeah, I would love that. Thank you so much. Oh, Thank you Beth and Liz and Sherry and Randy for your donations. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Really great. I'm grateful for that. Beautiful. I'm so happy to read that it was all great. That you love it so much. Thank you so much. All right. So, My next live will be in a month. On November 10. And it's called Self-Gentleness in Relationships. So, Where we apply the concept of self-gentleness in relationships. As well romantic relationships. As whatever relationship you might have. With family members, Friends, Colleagues, Bosses. Or maybe just romantic ones. Which are also really important in our lives, Of course. And then there's another one on the 8th of December. Which is called Preparing for Self-Gentle 2024. It is how to get through these holiday times. Into the new year. Dive into the new year. Self-Gentle. And soon I will plan also more lives for starting the new year. So, Thank you all so much for being here. Releasing resistance with me. Thank you so much for listening also to me. It was really great to share everything with you. And have a beautiful weekend. And hope to see you in a month. Bye bye.

Reviews

The Plus content is wonderful. I’ve listened to almost all of your tracks. I’m so happy that supports you.