Goodbye Comparison, Hello Compassion

This practice begins with a short talk on our human tendency for comparison. As the meditation begins, you will get quiet and observe your habits of comparison. From here, you will replace comparison with a sense of compassion and witness a softening of your body, mind and heart.

Transcript

Welcome to you.

If you are like most of us,

I'm guessing that you spend some time each day comparing yourself or your life to others.

Perhaps as you scroll through social media you think that other people's lives look more fun,

Interesting or exciting than yours.

Maybe at family events you think that your brother or sister have their lives more together than you do.

Perhaps you see other people with their cars,

Homes,

Holidays,

Careers or happy families and you wish that you had what they have.

Whichever comparison trap you fall into,

It's having a negative effect on how you see yourself and your life.

When we compare ourselves and our lives to others,

We are setting ourselves up for feelings of inadequacy,

Feelings of not being enough or not having enough.

Over time these experiences lead to unease,

Dissatisfaction,

Anxiety and even stress.

These comparisons detract from what we do have and what we have already achieved.

They leave us wanting more,

Needing more.

They also take us out of the pleasure,

Ease,

Peace and joy of the present moment.

Have you heard the expression,

Don't compare your inner world with the outer world of another?

This simply means that it's unhelpful to derive your sense of self worth and happiness from what someone else's life looks like on the outside.

I also love the expression,

Everyone is normal until you get to know them.

This is really just a humorous way to acknowledge that we all have struggles and challenges,

Even the person who you may compare yourself to,

The person who in your mind has it all,

Even they live with uncertainty,

With feelings of not being enough,

Of needing to have or achieve more.

This is part of the human experience,

It connects us all.

So in today's meditation we shall shine a gentle light of awareness onto our habits of comparison so that we may see them with fresh eyes and an open heart.

From here we shall break free from this trap that limits our experiences,

Reduces our pleasure and sense of contentment for all that our life is right now.

My name is Fleur Chambers and it is my pleasure to guide you in today's practice.

Beginning by closing down your eyes and taking three deep intentional breaths.

And just noticing which part of your breath is capturing your curiosity.

Noticing any sense of coming home,

Of arriving.

With each breath coming home to your inner world a little more.

With each breath coming home to the peace and safety that is sitting in meditation.

Inviting you now to hold in your mind's eye a time when you find yourself comparing yourself or your life to others.

Perhaps at work,

With family or friends or when on social media.

And just picturing this situation in your mind's eye.

Now focusing your attention a little more.

Holding in your mind a particular person you have compared yourself to recently.

Are they a friend?

A family member?

Or a stranger you connect with virtually?

Who are they?

What do they have that you seemingly want?

What do they represent to you?

How does this act of comparing make you feel about yourself and your life?

Taking a deep breath here.

No need to grab onto these ideas.

Simply noticing with warm-hearted curiosity.

Noticing how this act of comparison makes you feel in your body.

Perhaps it feels heavy,

Tight or like an ache.

How does it make you feel in your heart?

Simply noticing thoughts,

Emotions or physical sensations.

Taking a deep breath and as you exhale letting these thoughts and feelings go.

Enjoying another deep breath and on the exhale letting it all go.

Focusing your awareness now on your physical body.

Drawing your shoulders down away from your ears.

Noticing how this naturally opens your chest.

Chest moving slightly upwards ready to greet the world.

Heart open.

Spine straight.

Softening across your eyes.

Softening your jaw.

And finally turning your lips slightly upwards into a faint smile.

Looking for a moment what this posture and this half smile does for your sense of well-being.

Perhaps it encourages a feeling of calm,

Of openness or peace.

Holding the details of this person once more in your mind's eye.

Really noticing their face.

As you look a little closer you notice that they are smiling at you.

So you smile back.

Taking a deep breath into this experience of a shared smile.

And as you connect with this person in this way you realize that they are not perfect.

That their life is not perfect.

They have challenges and struggles just like you.

You can see it in their eyes.

You can feel it in their face.

Looking into this shared experience of being human.

And now from this place of shared understanding and connection offering this person some well wishes.

Repeating silently in your mind.

I wish you well.

May you be happy.

May you live in peace.

Breathing into these well wishes.

Allowing them to feel true for you in this moment.

And now offering yourself these well wishes.

There is enough for all of us.

May I accept myself just as I am.

May I accept my life just as it is.

Right here,

Right now I am where I am meant to be.

Breathing into these well wishes.

Allowing them to land within your mind,

Body and heart.

Noticing any sense of softening,

Of relaxation or peace that comes from within this act of compassion and understanding.

Noticing how different it feels to comparing.

From here setting yourself an intention that relates to today's practice.

Sealing this intention with one grateful breath.

Resting in your own wisdom for a few final moments.

Offering your body some gentle movements now.

Opening your eyes to the space you are in.

May you move through your days with a sense that we are all in this precious life together.

Trying our best each day.

Reviews

That was an amazing experience! Thank you for your work! Think I will need to listen to this often to get better at not comparing myself to others, but instead, feel compassion to them and myself. Thank you again Fleur! 🤍

Thank you, Fleur! It is wonderful to be able accept oneself as it is. Everyone has their own struggle.

Serenity and simplicity is what I long for. Thanks for reminding me (again) 🙏

Thank you for really helping me to focus more on my shared humanity with those I compare myself to. This will assist me in looking on others and myself with more compassion

This is very helpful. I think I tend to compare myself to unattainable standards of perfection as much as other people. Equally unhelpful.
Love the quiet of your voice.

Thank you - this was so helpful to my struggle with comparison!! I feel like I can access the strategies of breathing, remembering that I don’t know the person, and wishing them and myself well anytime. 🙏

Loved it. Reminded me that I need to be more compassionate toward myself. Thanks

May all beings be happy!!! Beautiful message!!! Thank you very much. Namaste ❤️🌹❤️🙏

This is such a powerful meditation to move stuck energy 🙌🏼

Wonderful, Fleur. Thank you ☺️

Beautiful light on how comparison and compassion fight each other. Thank you !

This was a wonderful grounding meditation 🙏❤️

A beautifully held practice. Thank you for your wisdom and kind words.

There is indeed more than enough for all of us 🙏🏾

A warm and healing meditation ✨

I needed this so much today. Thank you so much Fleur. May you be happy! 🙏

lovely. compassion rather than comparison. two very similar sounding concepts with two very different outcomes 💚

“Don’t compare your inner world to the outer world of another.” Love this!

Om shanti Fleur - may you day be filled with happiness!

As always, a perfect tone and wise words to explain an idea and make us reflect on an important topic. Thanks for improving my life in so many ways, Fleur.