Understanding Your Self-Critical Thoughts

This is a powerful meditation for anyone interested in understanding the self-critical voice that lives within all of our minds. Through curiosity and understanding we shall cultivate some perspective around these persistent and re-occurring thoughts. Through this perspective we can reduce the grip these thoughts have over us and encourage liberation in our thinking.

Transcript

A warm welcome to you.

I am delighted to be here with you today.

During this meditation we shall cultivate some inner calm and from this space we shall feel comfortable to shine a gentle light on that part of ourselves that can be self-critical.

We may call it our inner critic,

Our saboteur,

Our negative voice.

It doesn't matter what we call it,

We all have this constant companion that lives deep within.

This voice may speak to you at work,

At home or even in your dreams.

It may appear when you are on your own or in the company of others.

Whether loud or soft,

Overt or subtle,

Negative beliefs and attitudes about ourselves are more than just thoughts holding space in our minds.

They have a real physical effect on our bodies,

Our minds and our hearts.

Negative self-talk stimulates the stress response in us and over the long term can lead to unnecessary worry,

Anxiety,

Fear and feelings of low self-worth.

These negative thoughts,

If left to roam freely in the garden of our minds,

Can have a profound impact on the way we see ourselves and the way we interact with this one precious life.

At its most powerful,

Our inner critic can trick us into thinking that we do not deserve to be happy or not worthy of love.

Seeing ourselves in this way means we may shy away from new experiences and opportunities in fear of being rejected or not sufficiently capable.

This inner critic can lead us to living small rather than embracing the wonders of life.

So during this meditation we shall begin to get to know this inner critic that lives primarily within our minds but also affects our bodies and our hearts.

We shall be curious about its character,

The way it presents,

The way it makes us feel and from this place of curiosity and awareness we shall cultivate some perspective.

Just enough perspective to enable us to interact with this inner critic in more skillful ways,

In ways that will encourage more freedom and confidence within you.

So let's begin by settling now into a comfortable position and just seeing if you could be 10% more comfortable,

Making any final adjustments you need and now closing down your eyes,

Allowing the landscape of your awareness to turn inwards.

And as you begin to settle in a little more,

Just remembering that it's okay to take this time for yourself,

That you deserve this opportunity for rest,

Reflection,

Awareness and growth.

Seeing also if you can let go of any ideas about how this meditation should be or should feel and just surrendering into the process with an open mind and heart.

Beginning to direct your awareness now to the gentle movement of your breath.

Air flowing in,

Air flowing out.

This gentle dance that moves within us all day,

Every day.

Noticing the way so many parts of your body come together in this shared act of breath,

Noticing the way your body breathes on its own.

Feeling safe and secure within this act of being breathed.

Feeling safe and secure resting in the intelligence of your body and your breath.

Cultivating a sense of inner calm and stillness here.

Now gently moving your awareness to your mind.

How does your mind feel today?

Busy,

Alert,

Fluid,

Peaceful.

How would you describe the tone of your thoughts today?

Supportive,

Neutral,

Self-critical.

Nothing to do with these thoughts and reflections,

Just being open and curious.

And now turning your attention to some of the self-critical thoughts that live within the garden of your mind.

Perhaps they are loud like thunder rolling through your awareness.

Or maybe they are more subtle like a gentle summer breeze gently moving within the garden of your mind.

What are some of the themes that regularly fill your mind?

Perhaps you are critical of your physical appearance.

Maybe you are hard on yourself when you make mistakes or when things don't go to plan.

Do you set yourself incredibly high expectations?

Are you self-critical when you don't meet these expectations?

Do you worry you aren't good enough at your job or at a role you have in life,

Perhaps as a mother,

Father,

Brother,

Sister,

Daughter or son?

Is there a quiet rhythm in the back of your mind always whispering to you that you don't deserve to be happy?

Spending a few moments now letting these critical thoughts move around your body,

Mind and heart.

Trying not to grab onto them.

No need to analyse or judge.

Just allowing them to be for a moment or two.

Now are you able to hold one of these thoughts in your mind?

Don't think too hard about which one.

Just whatever emerges naturally for you.

And now together let's ask this thought a few questions as a way of understanding it a little more.

Let's ask this thought,

Are you kind?

Do you help me be the person I want to be?

Do you inspire me to be the best version of myself?

How does this thought make you feel in your body?

How does this thought make you feel in your heart?

What does this thought do to your outlook on life?

I wonder if through this inquiry and reflection the nature of this thought has changed.

Perhaps it feels different.

Perhaps it seems less true or powerful.

Perhaps you feel less attached to it than you did before.

I wonder,

Through this act of awareness and curiosity,

Are you able to release the grip this thought has had over your mind?

Taking a nice deep breath in and out and as you exhale allowing this thought to become smaller,

Less powerful in your mind,

Body and heart.

Noticing any sense of relaxation,

Of lightness or release now.

Noticing any sense of peace or stillness.

Resting in the awareness that you are not your thoughts.

You are the deep awareness that notices your thoughts.

Let's be curious one more time.

Inviting you now to hold another negative or self-critical thought in your mind.

And just noticing how this thought makes your body feel.

Also noticing what this thought does to the state of your heart.

And so I ask you warm-heartedly,

Is this thought kind?

Does it help you be the person you long to be?

Does this thought inspire you?

Or does it hold you back?

When you let this thought take hold,

What does it do to your perspective?

Taking a nice deep and full breath in and out now and noticing if this thought has changed.

Perhaps it feels different.

Perhaps it seems less true,

Less potent.

Perhaps you are able to interact with this thought in a different way after this reflection.

Taking a nice deep breath in and out and as you exhale allowing the power of this thought to leave your mind,

Body and heart.

Noticing any sense of relaxation,

Of lightness or release.

Resting once more in the awareness that you are not your thoughts,

You are the deep awareness that notices your thoughts.

And through this act of inquiry and reflection we have created some space,

Almost as if we have cleared some weeds in the garden of our minds.

And so I ask you,

What would you like to grow in the garden of your mind?

What seeds would you like to plant?

What flowers would you like to see grow?

Perhaps you would like to witness the blossoming of self-confidence,

Of self-compassion.

Would you like to see the growth of forgiveness,

Acceptance or perspective in the garden of your mind?

Taking a few nice deep breaths in now and as you inhale imagining you are watering these seeds in the garden of your mind.

Breathing in this quality you would like to grow.

Breathing it into your mind,

Your body and your heart.

Slowly beginning to deepen your breath.

Finding movement now through your fingers and toes.

Taking any other movements your body needs.

When you are ready opening your eyes,

May you move through your day with a greater awareness of your inner critic and a stronger sense of how to be on your own side.

Reviews

I am the deep awareness of my thoughts has helped me to find some detachment from my thoughts.

I did this meditation on the first day of the new year and it feels like a powerful way to begin the year. My negative self talk is persistent but it isn’t loud. The questions you posed helped me to identify the actual negative thoughts that repeat and to allow them to coalesce into words that I could acknowledge and address. That was potent. This is a big deal to me.
Thank you very much 🙏 I am grateful.

Will come back to this meditation time and time again. Thank you

Thank you. Your comments about being my deep awareness that notices my thoughts was very helpful.

A beautiful meditation, which can also be used afterwards in daily life. Fleur provides you with a great tool that creates perspective and helps you move forward.

Just what I needed to understand my feelings of sadness today! Thank you!

So helpful and soothing! I’ll play this one often. Thank so so much, Fleur, for this and all your offerings 🙏🏻💚

i love the calm and peaceful nature of this meditation- i am going to create a sleep meditation playlist and start it with this. going to bed and letting go of the negative self talk- thank you 🙏

I love this meditation about befriending our inner critic, cultivating kind thoughts and remembering we are pure awareness. Thank you. 💚

Thank you for the awareness of my critical thoughts and how to release them.

1st time listening to this. I enjoyed it. I have a thought but finding it very hard to let go of it. Might have to listen to this one often to see if I can let the thought leave. And maybe I need to use other mental health services and less of the one I was using to let this thought go away

Fleur, Thank you for this beautiful meditation. It was very helpful for me 😊❤️🙏

Thank you 🙂 Lovely analogy of the mind as a garden 🌷

Beautiful words and message - thank you
Very soothing with the gentle background music

Thank you, extremely helpful!

Extremely helpful, thank you, Fleur. 🙏 ❤

This was incredibly soothing and powerful and a gentle reminder that I am not my thoughts. Sending much gratitude and love. 🙏❤️

This meditation really lightened the most pervasive inner critic in my mind. Thank you

very clear and thoughtful. My inner critic is strong and I loved the metaphor about clearing weeds from the garden of your mind, and planting new kinder seeds.

I really needed that one! I’m be been letting the negative critical self talk creep back in.

Thank you so much for this practice. Very helpful. I greatly appreciate your guidance!