One of the things that I feel particularly passionate about in meditation practice is that it's a place where we can tell the truth about how it is.
That our practice isn't in front of sunsets and perfect bliss,
That it lets us be right where we are.
In this session,
We're going to explore honoring the death of a dream,
Of something that we wanted that didn't come to pass.
Sometimes we have to grieve the things that weren't,
As well as the griefs that were.
It's more socially acceptable to make space to grieve the things that we've had,
And yet sometimes the things that cut us most deeply are the dreams that didn't come to be.
Perhaps it's the children you didn't have,
The job you didn't get,
The relationship that wasn't,
The thing that you went for that didn't come to pass.
These are the trends of the secret things we hold in our heart that not everyone knows about,
The things that we went for and didn't come to be.
This is a short session to give you a space to honor that loss.
So settle down,
Get comfortable.
Drop your anchors,
As if you could drop a cord right to the center of the earth.
As if you could belong yourself to this planet,
To this place.
Root down and rest down.
Likely you have been going hard at something you wanted for a long time.
Let loss touch you today.
Let the dream of what wasn't cut you a little deeper.
We often try and stay busy through grief.
Acknowledge that it didn't matter that much,
That it wasn't meant to be,
That life had other plans for us.
And all of those are good and reasonable things to hold on to.
And yet,
There is still a grief in not getting what we wanted,
In the precious prayers we sent out that apparently didn't get answered.
We don't get to see the rhyme or reason behind life.
Yet we do get to honor the way that it impacts us.
So as you sit here now,
Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and touch yourself with care and firmness and presence.
Not just landing your hands there,
But actually reaching out and touching yourself.
And also receive that touch.
Acknowledge that you're here with yourself,
Marking a loss,
Making a moment to honor something that mattered to you,
Taking time to mourn the death of a dream.
The thing that wasn't that you wanted.
So come in really close to yourself.
Let yourself hear your heart.
Look loss in the eye for a moment.
Pause in this place.
Breathe a little deeper as you move through this.
Resource yourself and reassure yourself.
Let's sit quietly together for a few moments honoring what wasn't.
Honoring the death of this dream.
The thing that didn't come to pass.
The space that you created where the thing never came to be.
The fact that we're ultimately powerless over our lives,
Even though we can impact a million things.
Sometimes we can't impact the one thing we most wanted.
Turn towards your heart with presence,
Like a prayer or a gift you give yourself.
We do not move through a major loss all in one go.
We touch in and titrate.
Oh,
Here is fullness of feeling.
Ouch,
It hurts.
Oh,
Damn,
I'm numb.
I don't even know what I'm feeling.
Oh,
Gosh,
I barely let myself touch into this.
It's buried so deep within me.
Honor that you're making a pause place to be with this loss.
You're letting your heart come home.
You're letting life impact you.
You're taking down the walls,
Letting your feelings be felt and letting the healing happen that can only happen when we touch into how it is we really feel.
You might want to say something that honors your feelings,
Like you really wanted this or I know you're disappointed.
Oh,
Sweetheart,
I'm so sorry.
Sometimes I just like the mantra,
Ow and wow.
Wow,
It went like that and ow.
Speak to yourself the words you need to hear.
The only way through loss is to love ourselves through it,
To tell the truth about how it is.
We can't go over it.
We can't go around it.
We have to stay with it.
So as we finish up today,
Honor your heart as you go through the day.
You may pretend to the world that you're fine.
But let yourself acknowledge that this hurts.
That's something that matter didn't come to be.
Stay by yourself in this loss.
Do not abandon yourself here just because life did not go the way you wanted.
Come in close.
Hold your heart.
Hold your dreams.
The way forward to new dreams is by really letting loss sweep on through.
And I see you today taking time to do that,
To honor,
To grieve,
To touch in and to be touched by life.
That takes bravery.
So I see that in you,
However life went or however life didn't go.
So I honor your boldness,
Your bravery,
Your loss and your love.
And I thank you for practicing with me.
Please come back whenever you need to.
Be gentle with you and may life bring you unexpected sweetness today.
May it bring you big blessings.
May you feel the universe holding you and know that it has not forgotten you.
Be well,
Dear one.
Be well.
You
