Finding The Serenity To Accept The Things We Cannot Change

This is a guided meditation to support us in finding peace in tricky times. We will develop the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change - making the wise and conscious choice to stop struggling with something we are powerless over. Instead, we will focus on our own self-care via the breath.

This meditation is inspired by the traditional prayer or mantra: “Grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Transcript

So this is a gently guided meditation on cultivating serenity and coming to accept the things that we can't change right now.

It will begin with a spoken section and then go into a period of guided meditation.

We'll explore what some call the serenity prayer.

It could also be called a statement.

It goes like this.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Paradoxically it is in owning our powerlessness that we get to own our power.

There is so much in the world that we can't control right now.

Coronavirus,

The state of the global economy,

The health of ones we love,

The freedom to travel,

Getting the world back to the way it was,

Making it different.

When I say that we're powerless,

I don't mean that we're helpless victims of life waiting to be trodden on or that we have to be miserable martyrs.

But I am talking about the conscious choice that we can make to stop struggling with something that we just don't have any control over.

And those times when struggling with it just isn't serving us.

Of course we must do what we can diligently with dedication,

Taking step after step.

And yet despite our best efforts,

At sometimes and at some point in life we just can't get reality to do what we want it to do.

And it becomes a waste of our energy to wish that the world was different from how it is.

So we have a choice.

We can either keep doing the same thing,

Struggling more.

We can cultivate serenity and acceptance of the way that things are,

Even if we still wish that they were different.

We can put down our struggle with reality,

Our struggle with what is.

We can indeed try too hard to change the external world.

It can leave us exhausted and depleted.

Sometimes what is actually required in a situation is not outer work,

But that we do the inner work around it.

When we can't change things externally,

We'd be very wise to choose to change ourselves internally.

And when we can't work with things externally to make them different,

We get to work with them internally to see what difference that may make to our lives,

What peace that may bring.

About a hundred years ago,

The serenity prayer was written and it speaks of both having the courage to change the things that we can and of developing some serenity to accept the things we can't change.

It goes like this.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

These are wise words indeed.

You can view it as a mantra or a statement if that feels more suitable to you than a prayer.

When it comes to things we can't change,

Sometimes it can be hard to surrender to them,

To let go,

To just let reality be what it is.

We get to the question of what can I do in these times when there's nothing more that I can do.

Very often the answer looks like our ability to self-care,

To self-soothe our nervous system,

To know what we need to do to tend to our own internal world,

To calm ourselves down,

To bring some peace into our hearts and into our minds.

We get to work with things that we have some degree of self-control over,

Even if that means towards working on improving things internally just a little bit,

As best we can.

Meditation is excellent for developing this self-awareness to know what is needed,

For developing self-compassion to self-regulate our nervous system.

So let us practice now.

Feel the place you are sitting or standing or lying.

Feel the surface underneath you.

Feel the weight of your body as it touches the ground or whatever it is that you're resting on.

Feel the breath moving in and out of the body.

Feel the center of the breath.

Feel the stomach expanding,

The chest moving.

The rise and the fall of the body being moved.

Feel your feet,

Your calves,

Your thighs soften your belly.

Feel the back of the body.

Feel your shoulders,

Maybe give them a wriggle if they're tense.

Feel your arms,

Your wrists,

Loosen your hands.

Practice softening that part of the body.

Relax your forehead as best you can.

When we pay attention to the body,

We slow down the movement of the mind,

Bringing a little bit of serenity into the body.

Continue noticing your breath.

Invite in a sense of peacefulness into the body.

Just be willing for that to show up.

And allow yourself to be with whatever is present.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

As you hear these lines,

Just put down all the thoughts in your mind,

Coming back to the breath.

It's a practice.

We won't do it perfectly.

We practice putting down the worries of our mind,

Handing them over,

Trusting if we need to worry later we can pick it up again.

But for these minutes,

We're going to sit with our body breathing.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.

We probably can't perfectly change our minds to be free of thoughts.

But we practice time after time,

We get better.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I acknowledge your courage in taking this time to be still with yourself.

I trust that by meditating we are developing our own wisdom,

Our own self compassion.

The more we can listen in with a calm mind,

Soothe our nervous system,

The better we'll be able to access our own wisdom,

To know what we need to change,

What we need to lovingly let go of.

Thank yourself for being willing to do this piece of inner work,

For developing your own wisdom.

Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.

The courage to change the things we can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Feel this community of practitioners sitting on inside timer,

Practicing together as best we can,

Letting go of what we can't change and being the change we can be,

Showing up for ourselves and for each other.

So I thank you for your practice,

For taking this time to tune in,

To learn what it means to skillfully be here,

Being a human,

Doing what we can in these times.

Have a stretch,

Have a yawn,

Give yourself a bit of a hug,

A big smile,

And go forth in your day.

Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,

The courage to change the things we can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I thank you for your practice,

And wish you a wonderful rest of your day.

Reviews

Love the Serenity prayer and loved the music and how you used its transitions and the softness and tone of your voice. I feel uplifted❣️

So appropriate for me at this time. Thank you Tess.
🙏💛🕊

An answered prayer this morning. Thank you for the perfect practice to start today. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Very encouraging. Nice happy voice! Thank you 🙏🏼 ♥️

That was excellent and exact i needed at this time of my life.
Thank you 🙏

This was wonderful ! Love the serenity prayer and don’t use it enough! Thank you Tess ! 🙏🙏🙏

Your words are so strong and beautiful. I don’t want to miss a syllable you utter- but the music distracts. Is there a way to filter out the music?
Thank you for your practice. I have grown so much from the feeling of your words. 🙏🏼

Brilliant absolutely brilliant
Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou

The perfect meditation upon opening our eyes on each new day. Beautiful! Namesté 🙏🏽☮️❤️

This helps a lot, and can be revisited as needed. I'm very grateful. 💞

Beautiful & Soo helpful & calming as always 💖💆🏻‍♀️ Thank you so much 😊🙏🙏

Lovely. This came to me at the perfect time. Grateful. ❤️

This is a very soothing meditation for our challenging times (2020-22). More than just the Serenity Prayer, we are guided gently through setting our worries down, ways to accept what is and taking time for reflection and discernment. A short body scan is included in the middle with gentle repetitions and expansions of the Serenity Prayer sprinkled throughout. I listened to this on day 5 of Putin’s invasion of Ukraine (Feb 2022) and it brought me a slice of peace to my mind and heart. Thank you!

Love the serenity prayer and its’ use in a meditation

I feel more serene, more courageous and a little wiser in these testing times. Namaste 🤓🙏🏻

Love your voice. It’s so calming.

Wonderful words
Thank you
Namesta

This is an immortal prayer which I have always loved 🥰. Thank you for offering it so beautifully!🙏

Very nice. Although I still struggle with accepting a situation, this time with you gave me a brief reprieve of serenity. Thank you 🙏

So so good - thank you ever so much