What Is Self-Compassion Really?

Hello,

I'm Alison and for over 15 years I've been teaching life-enhancing inner practices for our well-being.

And I'm going to talk very briefly about what self-compassion is.

Because when we understand what it is,

We're much more likely to apply it and it softens the resistance we may have toward caring for others much more than we do for ourselves.

So first of all,

We need to understand what compassion is.

Compassion is simply when we see suffering,

Distress or difficulty and we have an urge to care and often an urge to help.

We don't like to see that and we want to actively do something to show that we care and that we can.

Perhaps offer something that makes a person or a situation.

Feel better.

And you'll have done that in your life.

And other people will have done that for you.

That's compassion.

Self-compassion is exactly the same energy.

It's the same caring about difficulty.

Applying that caring to the difficulty,

The suffering.

And in some way responding to make it feel better.

When we do that for ourselves.

We have something very powerful,

Don't we?

We're creating an inner ally.

We're creating inner caring that transforms us,

Just as we've been transformed by caring offering,

Being offered to us by others.

It really helps us feel much safer on the inside.

And all of this is backed by data and research.

So in simple terms,

What offering self-compassion means is agreeing that we are compassionate beings.

And that we have this capability.

And then pausing when we realise we're not perhaps being compassionate to ourselves.

When you're Being unkind to yourself because you made a mistake.

You say to yourself,

Well,

I'm human and all humans make mistakes.

You could pause and say,

It's okay.

It's okay.

To make that mistake.

We'll learn something.

We'll do it better next time.

Or maybe I don't have to be perfect.

It's an inward softening towards what is much more safe for us to feel.

Than this internal punishment we often give us.

And it's also making choices like resting.

When we're tired.

Taking a pause when we're overwhelmed to review all the things we've committed to.

It's allowing ourselves to thrive.

Just place your hand over your heart right now and take a breath.

And can you make that breath?

A really kind breath.

And just say to yourself.

I am worthy of care.

Just like any other human.

Because you are.

And you matter.

And in that moment,

You've just done a self-compassion practice.

So thank yourself and keep going.