Day 13: The Body Is a Library

Hello,

Hello,

Welcome back to 30 days of soul curriculum through the lens of soul art.

This is day 13,

And I've been talking about this process.

I am in the throes of this soul art journey because your awareness,

Your consciousness,

When you're in any journey,

Whether it's a journey to make more money,

To become connected in your life,

Whatever the journey or the intention is,

Whenever you're in it,

Until that journey ends,

Your awareness and your consciousness are picking up cues,

Are getting information,

Are healing you along the way.

Yeah.

So whatever journey you are on,

My friend,

There is information that when you bring your awareness to it,

Your consciousness to it,

That you will be given that's there for the taking that you can use and you can transform your life.

And that's what I'm showing you.

What I'm talking about in these 30 days is really about the process of life.

How do we move through it?

I am in this journey.

I'm talking about it.

I'm still having things come through.

Wait until like day 20.

Oh my gosh,

What's been coming through lately is just amazing.

This is like an epic journey for me,

But it's also a mirror for you.

So I'm going to have a little bit of an arc this week between today and about Wednesday or Thursday about things that happened in succession while I was getting ready to put the spirit action together for this journey.

It is intense and it deals a lot with grief.

So I'm going to put that out there.

It's about my grief journey and that idea,

That intention of I am showing up for myself.

I need to bring that journey in and that journey showed up up in this soul art journey.

I was talking about a soul retrieval of my 15 year old self that came up in a soul shamanism class.

It out and I remembered it and I owned it after that 15 year old cell retrieval so let's just get grounded let's just just find ourselves we're just gonna you know I don't know whatever you want to do my shoulders feel like they want to move on the inhale bring them up and on the exhale Like I want to feel them vibrate through my body as they drop.

So whatever your body needs for a moment.

Sometimes I'm also feeling a little bit in my jaw.

Maybe you want to stretch out your jaw.

Open up your mouth.

Your tongue.

You might want to swallow.

You might let your eyes circle.

Around look left were great.

Up,

Down,

Up,

Down.

Take a breath through your nose.

Sighing out,

Feel the weight of your body.

Feel your body being supported on the chair beneath it.

Inhaling through your nose.

Lift your shoulders and then drop them down.

Just arriving.

Just arriving.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about my process.

I was intrigued that I found a 15 year old version of myself that was not being shown up for.

And I found her in that carousel of my book,

That environment I wrote about in the Midnight Carnival.

And I had brought her back into me,

Into my home.

I created an altar for her.

I've been listening to her music.

That got me thinking,

Are there any other parts of myself that are missing?

Like are there parts of myself that are left somewhere?

And I started realizing that I didn't have any memories from eight years old before that.

Into a dentist before I'll talk about that tomorrow.

I'm going to talk about the other memory today.

Summaries.

Funny enough,

I have a third memory.

And that third memory is just a cassette tape on our inside porch.

And it's just Let's Get Physical by Olivia Newton-John.

And I'm just sitting there.

That's my only other memory that I have.

So I actually have these three memories that I didn't even realize I had.

It got me thinking that I actually used that memory of the fire and the car when I was in theater school.

And this is a testament to the senses.

This is a testament to living within the body.

The fact that our body remembers,

Even if our mind doesn't.

There are things that our mind forgets.

And then there are things that our body remembers.

And when I was in theater school,

We would do like method acting,

Stanislavski,

Right?

And we would have to go into this one class where we had to walk through a memory.

And we had to create.

We had to breathe it.

We had to feel it.

We had to hear it.

And our hands would move,

Kind of go through the motions of the memory.

And then what we do is go into the scene.

We would pick basically a memory that had the feelings we wanted to evoke in a scene.

We'd be in front,

Our eyes would be closed,

We'd be living in that memory,

We'd be talking it out,

Smelling it,

Feeling it,

And our hands would be moving,

Like our body was moving it.

And then as soon as we felt that emotion come in,

Or our teacher felt that emotion come in,

She'd have us open our eyes and go into the scene.

What that did,

I did that scene of being in the car,

I remembered it back then,

Where I was in the car and my eyes were closed,

I could smell it,

I could feel my hand holding onto the door,

And my hand was like this and kind of moving it out,

And I was locked in the car,

Right?

What that did was brought up those emotions for me to use in a scene.

As what I do now,

I find it absolutely,

And this is really showing up for myself,

All of that background,

All of that work I had done as an actor,

Wow,

That's playing a part now in my life,

And I'm understanding it in a spiritual sense,

That our bodies have these memories.

They have these things that we've walked through that can tap into the emotions so that we can release them,

So that we're not holding them,

And so we can actually move a different way with our human life,

Right?

There are things our mind lets go of and it's for reasons,

Right?

It's for reasons.

There's a reason that I did not touch that seven-year-old bike accident that I lost my front teeth in until a week ago or two weeks ago because I wasn't ready because that was connected to the grief.

There's so much I'm going to talk about tomorrow.

Today is just about this fact that our body remembers.

If sometimes we have to give it a jolt and sometimes we have to go into the senses,

Sometimes we have to move it in the way that it moved,

But it can bring up the emotions that are stuck.

It can bring up those things and begin to bridge our experience into what we want to transform into.

And when I realized I had that memory and how vivid it was,

I immediately remembered I did that in 1995 in theater school.

And at that time I thought,

This is powerful.

These people here doing theater don't understand how powerful this is because I am literally moving through a memory and they're telling me I'm using it for a scene.

But I ended up taking all of those years of drama school,

Turning it into drama therapy.

It was never packaged as that,

But that's what it is.

That's what it is.

And when you start to use it in a way to heal,

How powerful is that?

When you can start to live in your senses in a memory,

You can start to move your body the way it was moving.

You can unlock what's been holding you back.

You can figure out what it was that gave you the wall to look at instead of to break through.

When you begin to unlock the memories and you begin to move through them and use your senses to live in them,

So many things can crack open.

You can learn so much.

I talk about it all the time.

The body is brilliant.

Our human body is absolutely brilliant.

Knowing,

Seeing,

And we can do all of those things in memories,

But we can also do it in the imagination for what we want to create.

We have this instrument that is so freaking amazing,

And it gives us all the tools to do all the healing work we need to do to be through all the levels and layers of it.

And that's part of what that theater class was for me.

It taught me that.

It taught me that through the lens of theater,

But I instinctually knew,

Wow,

This is something more.

So let's get comfortable.

Let's go in gently.

We're not going to go in crazy.

We're not going to go in and rehash something.

I just want you to feel that the body is a library of your experiences.

And you can always go in.

You can always go in and open a book.

And you can put it down when you don't want to.

But you can always go in with curiosity,

With awareness,

And with consciousness.

And just find yourself in a comfortable position.

If you want,

You can lie down.

If you're sitting as if a thread was from the top of the head down to the tailbone,

And close your eyes.

And we're just going to do three slow breaths.

Inhaling through the nose.

And exhaling with a cool stream of air through your lips.

Letting go of anything that you no longer need.

Inhaling through your nose.

Exhaling through a cool stream of air through your lips like you're blowing out a candle.

Inhaling through your nose.

Exhaling a cool stream of air through your lips.

Allowing things to soften,

To relax.

To let go.

And let your awareness sit on your entire body.

Just feel your body.

Your body has been faithfully keeping your story.

In its entirety.

Every memory.

Every moment.

Everything that your mind has decided to let go of,

Your body keeps.

Take a breath in through your nose.

Blow a cool stream of air out through your lips.

Relax into that.

Everything your mind decided was too much to hold consciously.

Your body keeps in its entirety.

Imagine your body as a library.

Every room holds something.

Every corridor has a story in it.

Some rooms,

I'm sure you visit often.

And some you haven't opened in years.

There might be some rooms that you don't even know existed.

Maybe you didn't know it existed until a dream.

Fleeting moment of desire.

A conversation,

A piece of music.

Smell.

Let yourself stand at the entrance in awareness of this library of your body.

Just in awareness.

Stand at the entrance of this library.

And just notice if there is a doorway that calls you,

A room that calls you.

You don't have to force anything or manufacture it.

Just being in awareness with this idea of your body as a library of your experience.

Is beautiful enough,

But if a doorway calls you,

If a room calls you.

If a body part calls you.

Just notice.

You might.

Since we're working with the body,

That noticing might come in the form of a sensation in your body.

Maybe coolness or warmth.

You might feel a flutter.

And ache and expansion.

A tightness.

I want you to breathe into wherever you feel that sensation.

Inhaling.

Exhaling through your lips a cool stream of air.

Breathe into that place that's calling.

And gently asking,

How old is this feeling?

How old,

How far back does this feeling go?

You don't have to think about it.

There's no right or wrong.

Just trust that what arises.

.

.

Arises.

It might be a number.

It might be a sense of something.

It might be a picture.

Just witness it.

There is no need to enter a memory.

Just Witnessing.

The utter brilliance of our body.

Breathe with your body for a moment,

Inhaling through your nose.

Exhaling cool stream of air through your lips.

You can take your awareness off this library anytime you want.

You can move into it anytime you want.

You can breathe with each room,

Each doorway,

Each version of yourself,

No matter how old no matter how young.

Just witnessing and being present with it.

And this is the beginning.

So slowly take a nice deep breath,

Coming back to your body.

Feel your body move with the breath.

Exhaling on a sigh.

Inhaling through your nose.

Exhaling with a little voice on that sigh.

Feel the vibration of your voice waking up your body.

Maybe move your body around a little bit.

And just sitting with this idea of the body as a library of our experiences,

That we can always trust and go back to it.

And holds the keys for us.

I'm going to ask you a few questions and let them land or don't let them land.

You know,

Grab onto one or don't.

Just listen and then go about your day and see if anything comes up.

Is there a memory that you didn't know was yours?

Until something else unlocked it.

What has your soul been organizing in your soul curriculum that you're only now ready to receive?

And what younger version of you is standing at a door waiting to be found?

You know,

I would really believe in right timing,

That you wouldn't be here if there wasn't something for you to open up,

A door for you to open up in your body,

That the soul knows when we're ready for things,

That we find things when we're ready for them.

Just that idea of being able to witness your body,

The library of your experience,

That you always have a way in,

You always have a way in.

And in right timing,

It will happen.

Every piece of the work that we do on every journey,

In every self that we recover,

In every moment of showing up for ourselves,

Creates more capacity for the next layer to surface.

We are building.

This is the beautiful thing about our lives,

Right?

Our souls and these human bodies in this life.

My 15-year-old self handed me my seven-year-old self,

Handed me the core of one of the things that I really believe in with the body,

With the senses,

Reminded me that I've been doing this for 30 years.

I just didn't name it.

So I am showing up for myself,

Right?