Lesson 1
Understand The Difference Between Stress And Trauma Stress Response
Normal STRESS vs. Traumatic Stress responses
Stress is a survival mechanism, meant to increase our internal awareness of not only danger but also of change to adjust the body's resources to a state of readiness to adapt. Stress can be a motivator and an ingredient of resilience because it increases our tolerance for discomfort, especially when the body can easily bounce back into a state of balance once the stressful event is over - an example of this can be starting a new job, having a pregnancy, or taking an exam.
Stress is not synonymous with tension, fatigue, failure, or trauma. To distinguish healthy from unhealthy stress we need to consider factors like personal experience, level of intensity, and duration of exposure.
Chronic stress
Discover the roots of your chronically unregulated Nervous system
The issue with more subtle childhood trauma is, that most people don't remember it or simply don't identify it as an issue. Another factor is the natural reflex to defend the family system, especially the parents. Since we love our parents it would create too much of an inner conflict to fully admit how deeply they might have hurt us. Facing the past incidents would also mean having to face tons of complex, unprocessed emotions which is too overwhelming for the whole system at the beginning of the healing journey.
Ignoring their toxic behavior and the suppression of the resulting painful feelings happens mainly as a child since we depend so much on the caregiving of our parents. The child rather comes subconsciously to the conclusion (= a future belief system), that something about itself must be wrong, that it has to be bad and therefore deserves this kind of treatment. Instead, admitting that the parents are the problem would mean having to constantly live with the fear of not being taken care of or even being abused in any moment. (There is not only obvious physical abuse but also emotional abuse, e.g. in the form of emotional neglect, or verbal abuse - e.g. yelling or constant criticism, nagging, etc.). Nobody system on earth can constantly live in fear, so we go instead into fantasies, illusions, dissociations, distracting ourselves, or completely shut down.
Psychological Trauma
In stressful/painful situations, we are often confronted with strong emotions that are too much for the whole system at that particular moment. Therefore, the body first stores the sensation/memory in the fascial tissues. The classic example of how the body expresses physical trauma is the stiff neck after an accident. However, we can also have traumatic experiences on a primarily psychological level. Sometimes the wound is caused by a repetitive painful situation rather than the extreme moment of shock, such as an accident. These "wounds" are often more subtle and harder to detect, as their root can have many levels and cause different, complex problems. In my opinion, most people have experienced such situations in childhood, simply because children do not understand the social/more complex reasons for human behavior and cannot comprehend painful words or actions.
Unconsciously dealing with trauma
Unprocessed emotions are stored in the body If a person is abused as a child, for example, the feeling of helplessness manifests itself as muscle tension or a feeling of disintegration in the affected parts of the body, especially the area around the genitals. The lives of many sufferers revolve around resisting or neutralizing the unwanted feelings, so that most have become experts at self-numbing. They become overweight, anorexic, fitness or substances addicted. The flip side of numbing is "sensationalism." Many people self-harm to feel something again – or to feel rather physical pain then emotional pain. Others bungee jump, or seek exciting risk in casinos & brothels. All of these activities can provide the fictional and contradictory feeling of control. When people are chronically angry or anxious, the constant muscle tension leads to spasms, back pain, migraines, fibromyalgia, or other forms of chronic pain. Therefore it may initially takes a long time to help the traumatized person tolerate the physical perceptions at all and understand them as transient. To do this, he must become calm enough to perceive without judgment, so that he can locate these traumatic images and feelings as completed in the past.
Of course, this lesson is not at all a substitution for therapy, but at least you can get a bit of an idea if you have experienced trauma, which will hopefully motivate you to seek professional trauma-informed help as soon as possible and commit to the work.
In my earlier years, I made the mistake of thinking I could heal everything alone - trust me, even just being finally seen, heard, and understood is one of the most profound ways of healing!
read more
Lesson 2
Establishing A Sense Of Safety
In an ideal world, feeling safe within your skin in the absence of danger would be a birthright. Sadly, both traumatic experiences and the current state of the world can deprive people of this fundamental freedom. Building a foundation of inner safety is crucial for healing from trauma and addressing general anxiety. It's worth noting that traumatic events leave such a profound imprint on our DNA, which can be inherited through generations if not properly processed. Many of us have grandparents who endured the hardships of war and scarcity. Unfortunately, post-war veterans often lacked adequate support, and many people coped with their trauma by indulging in excessive consumption, inadvertently passing on their unresolved issues to their offspring, both through DNA and their trauma-driven behavior and parenting styles.
Feeling safe within your body is essential for the work needed to overcome challenging symptoms. Often, individuals automatically numb, disconnect, or dissociate from their physical experiences, especially if they freeze or collapse during a traumatic event. This self-protective response to trauma aims to ensure survival but can persist beyond the traumatic experience. As a result, you may frequently numb or dissociate to escape the pain, or you might remain in a state of hyper-vigilance, constantly scanning your surroundings for potential threats. In either case, you rarely experience a sense of safety or pleasure. The consequences of numbing, dissociation, and hyper-vigilance are a disconnect from your body's wisdom, including vital messages conveyed through sensations and emotions. This disconnection can lead to low confidence, a sense of emptiness, a search for external fulfillment, attachment to others, fear of intimacy, a lack of joy in life, and various spiritual challenges. It can also make it difficult to establish and maintain meaningful connections and trust in others.
Losing touch with your emotions and sensations means losing touch with your true self, resulting in disempowerment. This underscores the importance of restoring a sense of physical safety within yourself, regardless of your external circumstances.
Grounding:
Grounding is the sensation of being physically and energetically connected to the Earth. Your body is both matter and energy and traumatic experiences often pull your energy upward, disconnecting you from Earth's supportive presence. Any sense of safety and trust may be replaced with a feeling that the ground has been pulled out from under you, leaving you feeling off balance or knocked off your feet, both physically and metaphorically. Our modern society's emphasis on intellectual pursuits and disconnection from nature can exacerbate this disconnection, leading to anxiety and depression.
Anxiety and depression can be seen as wake-up calls, prompting you to question your life situation and whether you're truly living in alignment with your desires and needs. Practicing grounding can help restore balance and connection. It involves reconnecting with your body's sensations and emotions, which can be initially uncomfortable if you've been numb. However, it also opens the door to experiencing greater joy and aliveness.
If you're easily distracted, scattered, or find yourself overly focused on others' needs, it may be a sign that your energy is predominantly centered in your head. Consistent grounding practices can help regulate the flow of energy in your body, eliminate energy blockages, and enhance your ability to access and feel your emotions. Over time, this brings a greater sense of safety and presence. For those recovering from trauma, it can lead to liberation on all levels.
read more
Lesson 3
Calming Breathing Exercise: Counting To 4
Breathing exercises involve intentionally controlling our breath to induce a sense of relaxation and calmness in both the mind and body. If you've ever attended a yoga class, you've likely practiced breathwork, maintaining steady inhalations and exhalations with each pose. Similarly, you may have been guided to take deep breaths during a meditation session. Since breathing techniques are beneficial beyond wellness activities, we can employ them whenever stress arises, enabling us to respond more adeptly.
During moments of anxiety, we often observe shallow, rapid breathing, often through the mouth and only utilizing the upper part of the lungs. This limited airflow can lead to feelings of tension and discomfort, accompanied by symptoms like a racing heart, perspiration, or muscle tightness. Consequently, if we spill coffee on our shirts during an important meeting, our instinctive rapid breathing, a natural stress response, may hinder our ability to regain composure and refocus on the agenda.
Research indicates that deep breathing and other breathwork practices effectively reduce stress levels. When we purposefully engage in deep breathing, especially through the nose, we may notice our breath expanding our stomach, signifying full lung expansion and increased airflow throughout the body—a desirable outcome. Moreover, deep breathing activates the "rest and digest" system, signaling the body to relax. Another study suggests that deep-breathing exercises enhance focus, enabling us to attentively observe our reactions and remain present rather than becoming consumed by feelings of embarrassment, fear, stress, or irritation.
read more
Lesson 4
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) is a relaxation technique that involves tensing and then gradually releasing different muscle groups in the body. It's typically done systematically, moving from one muscle group to another, aiming to promote a deep state of relaxation.
Here's how it works:
Preparation: Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit or lie down. Loosen any tight clothing and take a few deep breaths to relax.
Progressive Tensing: Begin by tensing a specific muscle group in your body, such as your fists, arms, shoulders, or legs. Hold the tension for a few seconds while focusing on the sensations of tension in that muscle group.
Release and Relaxation: After holding the tension, release the muscles suddenly and completely. As you release the tension, focus on the feeling of relaxation spreading through the muscle group. Notice the contrast between the tension and relaxation.
Repeat: Move systematically through different muscle groups in your body, progressing from one group to another. You can start from your feet and work your way up to your head, or vice versa. Ensure to include major muscle groups such as those in the arms, shoulders, neck, face, abdomen, and back.
Benefits of Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
Stress Reduction: PMR helps reduce stress by promoting physical relaxation, which can also have a calming effect on the mind.
Muscle Tension Relief: By systematically tensing and relaxing muscle groups, PMR can help alleviate muscle tension and tightness, which is common during periods of stress or anxiety.
Improved Sleep: Practicing PMR before bedtime can help improve sleep quality by promoting relaxation and reducing physical tension, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Anxiety Management: PMR is often used as a coping strategy for managing anxiety and panic attacks. It helps individuals become more aware of tension in their bodies and provides a tool for releasing that tension.
Mind-Body Connection: PMR enhances awareness of the mind-body connection by focusing attention on physical sensations and promoting relaxation responses.
Overall, Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a simple yet effective technique for promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and enhancing overall well-being. It's often used in conjunction with other relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or guided imagery, for maximum benefit.
read more
Lesson 5
Somatic Movement For Immediate Relief
The different states of the nervous system
1.) Optimal autonomic nervous system arousal:
• Calm, relaxed, connected to self or others, conversational, productive, honest, appreciative
• I feel joyful. Open, clear-headed, wanting to engage with the world.
• Calm, clear, confident, in the flow, chill. It will all work out. I’m okay.
• There is color, life, happiness. I feel seen. I can create.
• Reveling in life, the world feels delightful, magical, and hopeful.
• The world feels welcoming, trustworthy, and awe-inspiring.
Results in:
• Reduced heart rate
• Activated facial muscles
• Increased eye contact
• Increased vocal rhythm
• Stimulated digestion
2.) Too much autonomic nervous system arousal:
High arousal: anger, fear, anxiety, stress
Hyper-arousal: panic, terror, horror, aggression
"Fight or flight":
• Blurry, frazzled, jumpy, paranoid, unsafe, hijacked, activated, aggressive
• Looking for escape routes to gain control
• Ready for action, alert, wanting to move or do something, preparing
• Nothing is right. I don’t want to see anyone. I may be disrespectful
• The world is chaotic. What’s wrong with me?
• Out of sync. The world is harsh. Resources are scarce.
Results in:
• Increased heart rate
• Shallow breath
• mobilized, action-taking
• Blood rushes away from the prefrontal cortex to the limbs
• Dilation of the eyes
• Ability to hear extreme high and low frequency
• Body is on alert, hyper-vigilant
• Increased pain tolerance
• slowed digestion
Too little autonomic nervous system arousal:
Low arousal: fatigue, withdrawal, disconnection
Hyperarousal: disembodiment, dissociation, despair
"Freeze":
• Down, checked out, hiding inside my own body
• unloved, unsafe
• I’m insignificant. The world is unsafe
• Listless, hopeless
• I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to cry, shut down, hide
• Numbness in extremities, stillness, breathless
• Waiting for any outcome
• The world is narrowed, muted, and viscous
Results in:
• immobilized, shut down, collapsed
• Decreased heart rate and respiration
• Flat facial affect
• Vacant eyes
• Partial or full immobilization
• Reduced blood flow
• May be unable to think clearly
• Dissociation
• feeling numb, spaced-out, or nauseous
"Fawn":
Dissociating and the fight-flight-freeze response are examples of instinctive survival resources. Fawning, which is exaggerated affection to gain favor, is a common survival tactic and resource used among victims of abuse (this can also be emotional abuse such as emotional neglect!). By currying favor of the perpetrator, survivors likely lessened, if ever so slightly, the intensity, degree, or frequency of abuse.
But these survival resources outside of a true threat may no longer be serving you.
For your Journal:
Take a little time now to think about how you’ve experienced these states; then complete the following statements for each.
When……… happens, I feel …………………………., which tells me I’m in a state of ……………….. .
read more
