Heal Hidden Childhood Wounds That Lead To Love Blocks

Exercise: Understand your Core Wounds and unmet Needs A core wound is a deep emotional wound, most often formed from suppressed pain and emotions internalized from a significant event, usually in childhood. This pain will likely grow and create a belief system about the self, often leading to compensating behaviors to manage the pain. Some examples of core wounds include: I am not enough, I am defective, I don’t measure up, I am helpless/powerless, I am unworthy. See how the main issues of your relationships (also possible with parents/friends) reflect or are connected to some wounding that happened before. E.g. being given to daycare as a baby might make you afraid of being abandoned/ rejected and can cause you to either (first) avoid close relationships in general or (/and) anxiously attach to a partner (once you finally allowed someone in). An abandoned or neglected person has usually deep-seated feelings of unworthiness, playing out in many areas of life. Timeline Exercise Please start as far back as you can remember and list at least 3- 5 events per decade of life. High points, low points, turning points, events that are significant to you, not that you think would or should be significant to me. List your Age, the Situation, and Feelings created in this situation. 1. Based on the timeline you created, what were the feelings that stand out most to you? Which feelings repeat themselves throughout your childhood? 2. What are the most painful feelings that you recall? It doesn't matter how small or insignificant you think they are. What matters is how they feel to you. 3. Based on the issues you're facing today, can you make any connections between your past and the issues you struggle with today? Think in terms of familiar feelings and emotions being repeated today. 4. Thinking back to your most painful relationships, what 5 issues do they all have in common? Abandonment? Rejection? Emotional abuse? 5. How were the common threads above present in your childhood in general? 6. Based on everything you've discovered so far, how do you think your "inner little child" runs your emotional show today? Why? What are her/his triggers?

List of the Tapping points (You can find pictures online): 1.) Karate Chop Point With two or three fingers tap on the “karate chop” point, the outside of the hand under the little finger, of the other hand. 2.) outside of the wrist/lower arm 3.) inside of the wrist 4.) Top of the head (Crown) 5.) Over the eyebrows: tap on the spot where one of your eyebrows starts next to your nose. 6.) Side of Eye: tap just outside of your eye (not on your temple, and not on the rim of the bone.) 7.) Right under the eye 8.) Under the nose: tap just under your nose, right in the little groove. 9.) on your chin, not on the bone of your chin, but right in the little groove between your lips and chin 10.) “collarbone” spot which is located not directly on the collar bone, but about an inch below and about an inch from the middle 11.) "under arm” or ribcage spot which is located at the side of your body, about four inches below your arm pit. Before you start: 1. Wash your hands thoroughly 2. Find a quiet place where you can express yourself freely 3. Agree to take full responsibility for your own emotional health and wellbeing Emotional freedom technique (EFT), which people often refer to as EFT tapping, is an alternative therapy for anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and some other conditions. According to the developer of EFT, Gary Craig, tapping on different parts of the body helps balance energy and reduce physical and emotional pain. Tapping involves the body’s energy meridian points, which are a concept in Chinese medicine. They are areas of the body through which energy flows. In this theory, blocks or imbalances in the flow of energy lead to illness. According to EFT advocates, tapping on these meridian points with the fingertips restores the balance of energy to resolve physical and emotional issues.

Any time you get triggered doing the day try to pause. Name the feeling. Locate it in your body. Notice the details of the sensations in your body that this feeling creates - as detailed as possible!! e.g. is it constricting, pulling, tingling, etc? Create more and more space for the feeling. Fully accepting it, not trying to change it. You can finally express it by hitting a pillow, screaming (into a pillow), sighing, breathing deeply, shaking it out, going for a run, boxing etc. or just communicating it in a calm way to the involved person. Also possible: Let the body fully express that feeling, as if you're on a stage, trying to express something without words. E.g. if you feel like hiding, need for safety, being held, etc. you go into Embryo pose and hug a big pillow or yourself. Feeling the touch of your own hands. Squeezing the arms (can bring you out of the freeze response). Go into Child's pose/embryo pose when feeling overwhelmed anytime during the day. Give your child what it asks for instead of pushing through the day/work etc. If you are longing for someone you could reach out your hands, then hug yourself, a pillow and say out loud: I am here. I feel this. Everything is ok. I am safe. (= Self-regulation) You could also ask someone to hug you. Go to your favorite, gentle Massage therapist. Ask a friend or a therapist for help when emotional. (= Co-regulation) Learning to say: I need someone with me right now. I need to talk. Or: Can you please just hold my hand? (This will also be very important for the "Emotional Release" Sessions, when it can be crucial to ask for extra support if the fear gets overwhelming! Always try to sense the deeper need (probably an unfulfilled childhood need) behind any of those strong emotions/fantasies that come up. Or when you become numb/when you try to distract yourself. Bringing awareness to all the little habits we have. E.g.: How does it feel to eat alone? Can I really enjoy every bite? Do I fully notice the flavor? Am I rushing a bit?