From Fawn To Fierce: Break The Cycle Of People-Pleasing

Caught in the cycle of giving too much, apologizing too often, or abandoning your needs to keep others happy? That’s the fawn response dominating your nervous system. This meditation can help you notice the fawn impulse in real time, and move from anxious compliance to confident, embodied choice. This can be especially helpful for those who struggle with fear of abandonment, anxious attachment, sabotaging relationships, and healing past trauma.

Transcript

Hi, This is Ori Krug, Board-certified somatic dance therapist and anxious attachment specialist. Today, I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation to help with fawning, Especially in the context of anxious attachment. Fawning is a survival response that is extreme people-pleasing. It often leads us to abandon ourselves to make sure someone else doesn't get upset. If you struggle with fawning or extreme people-pleasing, It's probably because you experienced one or more previous traumatic relationships where your survival and your safety was dependent on someone else's mood. So you did whatever you needed to do. You put aside all of your needs just to keep the peace because that was the only choice. I know that thinking about this and feeling this in this very moment as I say it can bring up so much grief. So I invite us to find a movement or a pose that we can call a safety movement to help us feel more safe, More gentle with ourselves as we process this together. So you can take a deep breath in and on the out-breath, Come into the first pose or movement that you intuitively find supportive and safe for you right now. Maybe it's holding yourself, Putting your hand on your heart. You may close your eyes if you haven't already. You can also lower your gaze or keep your eyes open. Whatever feels best for you. I'd like to invite you to imagine in your mind's eye, You're looking at a short clip of you or a version of you speaking up, Being in your power, Setting boundaries of you simply being confident, Open, Looking free. Whatever you imagine the opposite of fawning looks in you. See that in yourself on this movie screen. See how you're moving your body and how you're holding yourself in your body, This powerful, Confident version of you. And now, Start to move this physically in your body. Whatever you saw in the film, Start to actually move it. So if you saw your head lifted up higher, Or your chest raised more than usual, Your arms more spread out, Taking up more space, Try all of that on and more. There is no right or wrong, And you can truly just go with the flow and make it up moment by moment. I'll leave one minute of space here for you to try on this version of you. Okay. Come into a pose that embodies this part of you so that we can anchor in this part of you even as we explore fawn next. Whenever you find this pose or this movement, Take a breath in and out. And now we shift just temporarily back to the movie screen. And now, A short clip of you fawning, And you see yourself or imagine yourself fawning. How do you see yourself holding your body? How do you see yourself moving, Gesturing, Or even walking down the street or from the bathroom to another room in your home? Don't analyze or try to judge or make meaning of it, But just see it and try it on. There's no right or wrong. Try it on in your physical body. The version of you that fawns. And I'll leave a minute of space here to explore what fawn feels like in your body. Now I'm going to ask you to make this decision to go from your current fawning movements back to your fierce movements. So that first round of you moving your confident, Secure self, How can you go from the fawning movements right now and transition back into the fierce movements? Take your time. Let it feel natural. Find your way back to fierce without forcing it or rushing it. I'll leave a minute of space here for you to do that. So hopefully you've gotten to experience a taste of moving your body literally from fawn to fierce. If you find yourself in moments, Whether imagined, Perceived, Or real relationship moments where your body is feeling and moving as if you are fawning, Start to witness that in you. And you may find that a lot of time has gone by before you noticed, But if you notice and when you notice, See how you can move your body even just a little bit back to fierce. Let yourself explore that with play, With curiosity, Not too much pressure or seriousness. You can keep repeating this meditation and you can keep repeating this practice in your life until it gets stronger and more intuitive. Shifting these deep attachment wounds and the way that we've built patterns around it for so long takes time and practice. And I'm so glad that you are here taking this first step. I'm with you and I hope you know that you deserve all the love and confidence and security that's already within you.

Reviews

I really enjoyed this guided meditation and i love how your meditations have movement.