Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature with me Liz Scott and you join me on a glorious summer evening.
I'm walking up the lane that takes me up onto the moors and today has been quite a warm day and you might be able to hear the wind now has picked up and is rustling through the leaves and the leaves and the trees are overhanging the lane and a beautiful illuminated green.
It's like a tunnel of green as I walk up this lane onto the moors and today my reflection is all about listening.
In fact,
I want to talk about listening and the power of listening over the next few days.
You see,
I think listening is so underrated and it's something that people don't realize is extraordinarily powerful.
So today I want to just talk about the power of listening and it's a gift and it's a gift that's free.
Any of us can listen to someone else.
So why is listening so powerful?
I guess the first thing to say is that most people,
When they're listening to someone,
Believe that what they need to do if somebody's got a problem or an issue is that their job is to find a solution.
It's like a what about.
So someone says I'm finding it really hard at the moment with my children and discipline.
You might say well what about putting them to bed earlier or what about reading this book that I've read or what about listening to this podcast that I've heard or what about speaking to my friend who had a similar problem.
See,
We're always looking to try and find solutions for someone but the trouble with giving somebody our solution is that they're not really powerful.
They're not good solutions because what really somebody is saying is when they have a problem or an issue is I want to be heard so I can find my own solution.
And what happens when you listen to someone is that their mind will settle and as their mind settles they're able to listen in and hear their own inner wisdom,
Their own inner compass and see which way it is pointing them.
And I've learned over the years that it's so much more powerful just to listen to someone than it is to try and solve problems.
I haven't done any real studies on this or research but my hunch is probably 99% of people just want to be heard.
They don't want solutions.
At least they want their solution to their problem.
They don't want your solution.
I've got a friend who's been really unhappy in her work for some time.
She had a new manager and this new manager had a very different way of working and it meant that she felt quite challenged with her principles and what she thought was right or wrong.
And for probably about three years now my friend has been sharing with me her discomfort and unsettledness at her job.
Now at one level what I want to say to her or wanted to say to her at the beginning is this doesn't sound healthy.
Get another job.
You know you're bright,
You're intelligent,
You'll easily get another job.
Just go and get another job.
But you see I know enough that that's not what my friend was asking for.
She knew that she could get another job and I knew other people would have told her that as well.
She wanted to hear for herself what was the right step forward.
It took her three years and she realised that she needed to get another job.
Now you might say well surely if you'd given her that solution three years earlier she would have seen that for herself sooner and would have changed the circumstances.
But that's not how it works.
She saw it when she was ready to see it for herself and I know that the best way I can help anyone see the next step forward for themselves is to listen.
And as I listen to them their minds settle and as their minds settle they're able to listen in to their own deeper wisdom.
So today is all about the power of listening and don't underestimate it.
When you listen to somebody you are facilitating them with the chance of hearing their own wisdom.
I've got another friend and she does the opposite of listening.
She's a dear person,
Got a real kind heart.
But whenever I start a story and start to tell her about something in my life there are two things she'll do.
One is she'll leap in trying to solve something even if I haven't got a problem.
And the second thing she'll do is she will say well you think you caught it bad but listen to my story about this.
In both instances she doesn't listen and the impact on me when somebody doesn't listen to me is that I find it hard to speak.
I lose my train of thought.
I feel a bit deflated and the opposite is true.
When somebody listens to me I'm able to settle.
I'm able to hear my wisdom and I'm able to find my own way forward.
So today is all about the power of listening and I guess the challenge for you or the invitation for you is go and listen to someone today.
Just go and listen to them.
