Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature with me Liz Scott.
And it's day 42 on my pilgrimage as I track the Michael and Mary energy currents from Cornwall to Norfolk.
And I'm right on the outskirts of Bury St Edmunds,
A town which I'll be exploring more tomorrow.
The Michael and Mary energy currents actually come very close together.
They don't quite cross but they come very very close together in this town.
And I'm on a quiet road but you might hear the occasional cyclist or walker or jogger go by.
And today has been a day on my own.
And I say that because my husband has been this extraordinary support over the last few weeks.
But we knew that for two days,
And it's today and tomorrow,
We knew that for two days he was going to have to be out of the picture.
So as I walk towards Bury St Edmunds,
I know that tonight I'm going to be on my own,
Which is absolutely fine.
But what's interesting is in the run-up to him going away,
I've been quite unsettled.
I've had quite a lot of unsettled thinking.
Just sort of feeling a little bit vulnerable,
Being concerned of the what-ifs.
Now I say this because in one level it's ridiculous.
I know it's ridiculous.
I know it's ridiculous.
I'm a 50 something year old woman.
I've got means to find my way out of pretty much any situation.
And I'm near towns,
I'm near people,
I'm near communities.
It's not like I'm in the middle of the Sahara Desert on my own.
But I have had a little bit of unsettled thinking about it.
And this is what tends to happen,
And I know this now.
So I'm telling you this knowing that this is what goes on and knowing that it's all okay.
I know that I'll have unsettled thinking and I don't try and get rid of it.
There's no point.
There's no point of getting rid of unsettled thinking.
It just does its thing.
But what I do know is that whatever happens in reality,
I'll be able to deal with in the best possible way that I can.
When I'm imagining a situation in the future,
So when I'm imagining being on my own,
I might think of all these scary scenarios of,
You know,
What if that happens and what if this happens and what if,
What if.
But the truth is,
I know that when the situation occurs,
Whatever circumstances occur,
In that moment,
I will know what to do as best as I possibly can know what to do.
So for me today,
It's been interesting actually being on the day that in a way I've been worrying about for a little while I've had unsettled thinking and just noticing the reality of it compared to some of my thinking about it.
And it involved me catching a bus which I managed quite easily to the starting point and then found my way quite easily using my maps and changing the route slightly to come off some of the busier roads onto some quieter roads.
But I've just managed it absolutely fine.
It's like it was no different than any other day.
And I've experienced some different things,
Experienced different countryside.
I've just walked up through something called Holy Water Meadows which I thought was going to be absolutely beautiful but it isn't really.
We haven't had rain here for a while so the water is quite stagnant and looks a bit scummy but even that just made me smile.
Because in essence,
Me imagining Holy Water Meadow to be this beautiful place is just my imagination doing its thing.
That's what my imagination and mind does.
And when I get concerned because my husband's not going to be here,
My imagination kicks in and imagines a future in this instance that's scary.
So the thing is it doesn't matter what my imagination does.
Deeply,
Deeply what I know is I will know what to do and will make the best possible choices in the moment.
And that's exactly what's happened today.
So today has been a day,
I say on my own,
I'm not on my own,
I'm in a town.
There are hundreds of people around but you know what I mean.
A day where I haven't had that support and it's been absolutely fine.
In a way,
I feel quite excited having worked it all out myself.
There's a sense of achievement in having done that.
And I think the reminder for me is that whatever happens,
Whatever happens in life,
It's just to remember that my imagination,
Sometimes it will create futures that are exciting and bright and I'm disappointed and sometimes it will create futures which are scary and frightening and those scary frightening things don't happen.
My imagination does its thing.
I don't need to try and get rid of it or change it.
If I understand what's going on,
I can just continue to navigate life with as much ease as possible.
