A Problem Is Just A Disagreement With Reality - March 29

What if your problems weren't problems at all — just a disagreement with reality? In this five minute reflection, Liz explores a simple but liberating idea: that suffering often arises not from life itself, but from wishing it had turned out differently.

A gentle pause for anyone who needs a little relief today.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature with me Liz Scott. Oh I wish you could join me. I'm up on Dartmoor. There's quite a cold easterly wind but I found this little indent in the hillside and I'm sitting inside it. There's a little bit of an eddy of the wind rushing around this little space but I'm generally sheltered and the sun is warm and I'm just feeling the warmth of spring in the air and it feels so delicious and enlivening. Today is a day for being outside, For breathing deeply and for feeling the sun on my face. And yesterday I was with a group of women. I run a women's circle and usually we meet online and occasionally we meet face to face. Yesterday it was one of those face-to-face meetings and it was delightful. As we were talking in our circle one of the women shared something which I want to share with you now. She said that she had heard this particular phrase and it had really really helped her and the phrase was this, A problem is just a disagreement with reality. A problem is just a disagreement with reality. Now she went on to explain how she felt that just took a lot of her mind when she understood that deeply and was able to really live her life with that message. She said things felt different, She felt lighter and I began to reflect on it for myself because it's a really lovely way of describing what I'm seeing on my journey as well and that is the more that I argue with reality, The more that I get frustrated with the way life is turning out, The more upset I become. And I'll just give you a little example in my life. I'm in my late 50s so my aunts and uncles are getting much older and recently one of my aunts has died. I've had another uncle who's got a very serious prognosis of cancer which will mean he's only got probably a few months to live. I've got a friend who's been diagnosed with cancer and I'm just very aware when I look at my dear elderly mum. My dad died over a year ago now but my dear elderly mum is so frail and getting more and more confused. I feel if I get lost in the story of old age and illness and losing loved ones, I can feel real distress and for me that's an example of me having a disagreement with reality. The reality is that my dad has died, My mum is elderly, My friend has got cancer, My uncle has only got a few months left to live and my other aunt has recently died. I can feel deep love, Joy and gratitude at the people in my life who are ill or who have passed away but when I start to fight against life or feel it's not fair or as my friend said yesterday in the women's circle a problem is just a disagreement with reality. When I disagree with reality that's when I really suffer and experience pain. So today is about reflecting on whether these words resonate for you in your life. I am not asking you to take these on as a new belief or to take them on as a mantra or to beat yourself up because you're not living up to them. I'm not saying you need to believe this. However, I would love you to reflect on these words. A problem is just a disagreement with reality and as you reflect lightly and with curiosity see whether you feel any lightness in yourself. See what turns up for you or shows up for you as you consider whether you are fighting against reality. So today reflect on this quote and I'll give it to you one final time. A problem is just a disagreement with reality. I look forward to hearing what you make of that and don't forget to join me tomorrow for another five minutes in nature.

Reviews

Thankyou 🙏🏼 Liz
Reality is harsh and we need to go gently with ourselves as we manoeuvre the spiky bits.
They are like the thorns and thistles in a beautiful garden.
Sorry for the loss of your Aunt and that others you hold dear are affected by illness. 💕

A problem is only a disagreement with reality.

This brought a visual of a fallen log blocking the flow of a stream. There is a disagreement and the water is impeded. Yet the water the reality will fn a new path around the blockage.

Create a new reality and the problem may go away.

Thanks Liz. ✌️❤️😎

This resonates with me. I have heard a similar sentiment - ‘How I relate to myself as I am going through the issue, is the issue.”
Thank you (and your friend) for the reminder.

I like that explanation and am going to adopt it when things seem problematic. I've seen an example of it in action recently. My colleague and I were both under threat of redundancy as our jobs are being amalgamated and we were both invited to apply for the new job. I chose not to and have accepted that I am going to lose my job soon and have embraced the new challenge ahead of me. I have never considered it a problem, just a reality that needs to be worked through. My colleague however. applied for but was not successful in attaining the new post (a different colleague was successful) and whilst it's still very raw and early days, they never considered they wouldn't get the new job and can't yet accept they too are going to be made redundant. They are angry, upset and in denial but whichever way you look at it, the reality of the situation is that they will be made redundant. Maybe in time it will become less of a problem as they accept the reality and make positive steps to move on.